


When the lights fade away

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Very AU, rich and famous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-09-30 00:32:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 43,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17213774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: Aaron's an actor, going home from filming his TV series, Robert's a famous singer in the middle of a messy divorce. When their paths inevitably cross, how will they make it work?*You know the drill by now..*Explicit for later chapters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go again! Another rich and famous AU from me! I miss playing around with this kinda AU, and they're my absolute favourites to write, so I hope someone enjoys it! I have ideas to put in this!
> 
> Just to note, Rebecca mentioned in passing, she's not going to pop up in person!

Aaron parked outside the Mill with a sigh. It was late, but he’d felt like he had to come home because it was his mothers birthday tomorrow. They got on better than they ever had before, and he didn’t want to do anything to wreck it, even if she’d have said it was fine, Aaron missing her big day. He hadn’t seen her for months anyway, been busy filming, and he did miss her.

He got out of the car and unlocked the house, feeling empty and hollow. He loved this house, it felt so good to actually own somewhere after having… well, a rocky childhood to say the least but there was a part of him that missed the busyness of Manchester whenever he was in the village. Though sometimes it was nice to get away from it all.

God, there was a thick layer of dust through the house, maybe he should have got the cleaners in every once in a while. Yeah, he’d remember that for next time. He threw his keys on the side, kicked his shoes off, then went to bed. He’d been driving ages, and he was knackered. He’d check in with his mum tomorrow.

* * *

 

Aaron knocked once on the back door of the Woolpack, then walked in to find Chas with a cup of coffee sitting at the kitchen table.

“Happy birthday mum,” Aaron said, giving Chas a hug hello. She was beaming, pleased to have Aaron home for a little bit.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you!” she said, pulling back from him. “Are you home for long?”

“A few weeks,” Aaron said. “Got some time off from the show.”

“That’s great!” she said, way too enthusiastically and Aaron’s eyes narrowed at her.

“Why is it great?” Aaron asked, making himself a brew while Chas scrambled over her words.

“Well…” she said. “I see things in the papers and I just thought…”

“No,” Aaron said instantly.

“You don’t know what I’m going to say yet!” she snapped.

“You’re not setting me up with someone,” Aaron said. “Am I close?”

“No!” she said. Aaron looked at her, waiting. “Okay, yeah, you are kind of close. I just see all those pictures of you with different men all the time and I thought… it might be nice if you had someone to settle down with?”

“Mum, I’m in my twenties,” Aaron said with a slight smile. “I’m in no rush, I don’t want to settle down. Ever occurred to you that when you see those pictures it’s because it’s exactly what I want to do?”  
Chas didn’t say anything and Aaron felt grateful. Maybe, just maybe she’d let the subject drop. She wasn’t wrong, Aaron did go out with a different man each week, but he liked it that way. Forming attachments, relationships, it didn’t work for him. Better to stay single and occasionally go out to find what he wanted for a night. It suited him just fine anyway.

“Got you a present,” Aaron said, shoving an envelope in her direction.

“Oh, you didn’t have to get me anything!” she said, though her face said something different as she opened the card.

“Concert tickets?” she asked as they fell out onto the table.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I have got the right guy, haven’t I?” Aaron didn’t pay that much attention to music, he was usually way too busy with filming. But even he’d heard of Robert Sugden, and his tour was apparently the show to see at the moment.

“That’s amazing,” Chas said, smiling at Aaron. “Thanks love. Will you come with me?”

“No ta,” Aaron said. “I’ll be busy.”

“Please,” she said. “I’d like to go with you, and you gave me two tickets, so…”

“I’ll think about it,” Aaron said. “See what my schedules like nearer the time.”

“Thank you,” she said. “I bet they were expensive to get.”

“Er… a little,” Aaron said. The truth was he’d basically asked his agent to get them, because it was easier, but he wouldn’t tell his mum that. 

“He’s from around here, you know,” Chas said.

“Is he?” Aaron asked, trying to feign interest.

“Yeah. Owns Home Farm but it’s been empty for years. He doesn't live here.” Aaron tuned out as she started on the gossip of the famous singer, because he didn’t overly care, but anything that made her happy was fine with him.

* * *

Robert woke up to his phone ringing, and it was either his manager or his wife. Both would be a conversation he didn’t want to have because he didn’t fancy the yelling. It turned out it was his manager, the lesser of two evils. “Yeah?” Robert said, trying to force his brain to full alertness.

“Robert, are you awake?”

“I am now,” he grumbled. “What do you want?”

“I’ve had er… Chrissie calling me.”

“Oh, perfect, what does she want now?”

“More money for a divorce,” Jonathan said. “Is basically what it comes down to I think.”

“She isn’t getting more money,” Robert said. “She’s got more than enough out of me, why won’t she sign the papers.” He rubbed a hand over his face in agitation. “Wait, why are you calling me instead of my lawyer?”

“Because she says if she doesn’t get it, she’s going to the press. We can’t have that Robert.”

“I know,” Robert said. He sighed again. “I’ll have a shower, get dressed then see if she wants to talk to me.”

“If she talks to the press, it’s all over for you.”

“Not all over,” Robert said fairly.

“You can’t present a wholesome family friendly image, someone kids go to see play when it gets reported you were having it off with your wife's sister,” Jonathan said and Robert knew he had a point.

“I’ll talk to her,” Robert said. “She’s not unreasonable, I can talk her down.”

“I’m not trying to tell you what to do,” he said. “It depends what your reputations worth to you.”

“I’ll call Chrissie.” He hung up then groaned. Another perfect start to the day.

* * *

“Aaron, I’m going to need a favour.”

“You said I was off work,” Aaron reminded his boss.

“Yes, I know, but…” the producer sighed. “Leyla’s had a family emergency so she can’t do the interview on the talk show, so we were wondering if…”

“No,” Aaron said.

“Come on, I know it’s short notice, but you’d be doing me a massive favour.”

“But you know all they’re going to do is ask me questions about being gay,” Aaron said. “It won’t be about the show at all.”

“You can handle yourself,” he said. “We’ve got faith in you.”

Aaron sighed, but knew he couldn’t rightfully refuse. It was his job after all. “London?”

“Thank you,” he said, clearly grateful. “We’ll put you up in a five star hotel on expenses.”

“Mm,” Aaron said. “Just text me when and where and I’ll be there.”

“We really appreciate this,” he said. “I know it’s difficult, but it’ll be fine. You just need to advertise the show.”

“I’ll do my best,” Aaron said. “The mini bar better be good.”

“Thanks Aaron.” Aaron hung up the phone and then wondered how well his mum would take it that he was leaving the village after only two days back home. Or maybe he wouldn’t tell her and she wouldn’t notice. He’d only be gone a day at most. Aaron went through his wardrobe looking for something half decent to wear. This was not the start to his holiday he’d anticipated.


	2. Chapter 2

 

“Robert,” Chrissie said through gritted teeth as he sat down opposite her, Robert’s lawyer Katrina with him. He also noticed Chrissie had her representative too.

“Chrissie. Apparently you want more money out of me.”

“Well, I think I’ve earned it,” she said, voice dripping with sarcasm which made Robert roll his eyes.

“Mr Sugden has already agreed to grant you possession of the London property,” Robert’s lawyer said. “On top of a £500,000 divorce settlement. He’s being more than generous.”

“Only because he has to be,” Chrissie said. “I want the house in Yorkshire.”

“No,” Robert said, calmly but firmly.

“Oh come on, it’s worth less than the London house,” Chrissie said. “I just want to be out of the city.”

“Then sell it and buy something yourself stuck in the back of beyond,” Robert said. “Home farm is not for sale.”

“Be reasonable,” Chrissie said.

“You don’t want Home Farm,” Robert said. “You just want it so I don’t have it. You want it to hurt me.” She didn’t deny it and Robert groaned internally. If vindictiveness was what she wanted, there wasn’t much he could do about it.

“Robert,” Chrissie started. “If I go to the press…”

“Go to the press then,” Robert said with a shrug. “Because if you do, I’ll take this to court and you won’t get a penny out of me. I’ll have nothing left to lose. Take the house and the £500K. I’m not offering more. If it’s not enough? Tell as many journalists as you want that I was screwing your sister, because it’s not worth more to me than that.”

Robert shouldn’t have let his temper get to him like that, but he was done dealing with her as he walked out, leaving the lawyers to argue over it.

* * *

Aaron smoothed down his jacket, looking in the mirror of the dressing room. He thought he looked okay, smart casual (whatever that phrase was supposed to mean, Aaron thought bitterly) which meant he wore a button up shirt, but loose at the throat, and a jacket. He felt like he looked good and it was the impression he wanted to give. He had no idea who else was on the show tonight, as this was meant to be Leyla’s job, so he’d not been briefed. He didn’t mind being a last minute stand in, Leyla would only have dropped out for something serious, and he’d heard whispers that her mother was seriously ill, but still. Some time to prepare wouldn’t have been a bad thing.

Aaron walked outside his dressing room, just having a nose around when he saw a door wide open and he peered around the edge of it. He froze for a split second, seeing a man wearing jeans and completely shirtless. His back was towards the door, so Aaron couldn’t see who it was, just the low slung jeans on his hips, showing off the gorgeous curve of his arse, and God help him, Aaron couldn’t stop looking.

“What about the non disclosure agreement?” the man said, and Aaron noticed that he was on the phone. Quite honestly his eyes hadn’t got that far north. When he did look, following the curve of his spine and spying a smattering of freckles across beautifully tanned skin up to blond hair, Aaron swallowed. This man was fit as fuck. Then he caught blue eyes in the mirror, looking back at him and he felt a jolt of recognition. This was Robert Sugden, the musician who everyone knew the name of. Robert hung up the phone and turned towards Aaron slowly, giving Aaron a full view of his naked chest which he was trying not to look at. Okay, not trying very hard, but still.

“Sorry,” Aaron said. “The door was open.”

“Who are you?” Robert asked blandly.

“Aaron… Livesy,” he said, focusing on Robert’s eyes. “I’m one of the guests on the show tonight.”

“What, we need a prop guy do we?” Robert said snidely.

“No,” Aaron said, stung by that. He might not be quite in Robert‘s league, but he wasn‘t unheard of. “The show “Sugar Rush”? Ever heard of it?” He might not know Aaron by name, but he’d be surprised if Robert hadn’t so much as heard of the show, it had almost a cult following at the moment.

“Yeah, I might have,” Robert admitted. “Don’t go sticking your nose where it’s not wanted,” he added, before walking closer to Aaron and closing the door, effectively ending the conversation. Aaron shrugged at Robert's rudeness, but then... he guessed he had been looking into his private room. Aaron cleared his head because focusing on anything other than work right now wasn't helpful.

* * *

Robert had been on the phone to his lawyer discussing the Chrissie situation. “She’s agreed,” Katrina told him. “She’ll also sign a non disclosure agreement for your… indiscretion.”

“You can say affair,” Robert said, speaking bluntly. “I won’t sack you.”

“Why did you do it?” she asked, then stammered. “God, sorry. It’s none of my business. I shouldn’t have…”

“I was bored,” Robert said quietly. “Me and Chrissie… we were drifting apart and she got jealous over stupid things. Even just… people seeing me in the street and… Well, Rebecca was there. It’s not flattering, but it’s true.” Robert shrugged. No use feeling sorry for himself now, it was far too late.

“It’s really not any of my business,” she said. “I’ll get the papers filed. You’ll soon be a single man again.”

“Thank you.” Rebecca wouldn’t say anything, plus she had the added bonus of being in Brazil right about now, so it was just Chrissie he had to worry about. He‘d been about to say something else when he’d almost felt eyes in his back, so he’d ended the call and turned around, seeing a guy he didn’t recognise, though the face was sort of vaguely familiar. One thing he did know was that this stranger was checking him out, and blatantly so and it didn’t leave Robert feeling entirely comfortable. He gave a few quick jibes and shut the door before finding a shirt. Normally being admired like that didn’t make him feel uncomfortable, but he did right now. Probably because it was a man. He shoved the thought aside, and tried to get ready for his interview.

* * *

Aaron metaphorically gritted his teeth through the interview talking about the show, the upcoming episodes, plot points, everything else that was both boring, and slightly alarming because he hadn’t been told exactly what he could and couldn’t say for this interview but the host seemed happy enough with him anyway.

“So, Aaron, lots of people are wondering if your character is going to get together with Alice.”

“I know,” Aaron said, not giving anything away, talking about Leyla's character.

“As a gay man how do you feel, playing opposite a woman as a romantic interest?” It had been exactly this kind of question that Aaron had been dreading.

“It makes no difference,” Aaron said shortly.

“People ask…”

“I know they do,” Aaron said, cutting him off. "I’ve been playing this part for four years, so... long before I came out. It doesn’t matter one bit, do you expect all straight actors to be attracted to their counterparts? If I do a good job of portraying the character then it makes no difference whether I’m gay or not in real life.” They went to an ad break very quickly, but what did they expect? The double standard was amazing, because they’d never ask a straight actor that kind of question. So what if he wasn’t attracted to his co star? Did that mean he wasn’t good at his job?

Aaron was still a little riled, though trying to hide it when the host introduced the next guest, Robert Sugden to a massive wave of noise from the audience. Aaron just watched on as Robert was asked about his upcoming tour, and the album, all kinds of things that Aaron didn’t care about. But he was watching him with increasing interest while he spoke, gesturing with his hands, and try as he might Aaron couldn’t look away. He really was fit, even when Aaron was trying to display indifference.

Robert had a bit of banter with the host, before he was asked to play his new single, and Robert nodded with a smile, going to the stage that was already set up, and picking up his guitar. Aaron turned to watch and he felt almost mesmerised by the concentration on Robert’s face, the way his hands touched the guitar surprisingly gentle almost, and a few seconds later the sound of his voice. God, the man was gorgeous, and Aaron knew he was in danger of really fancying someone completely unobtainable. He tried to shut those thoughts off immediately. It’s not like anything would ever happen, would it?


	3. Chapter 3

Robert did the standard thing of signing a few autographs outside the studio, smiling and posing for a few selfies, before he went back into the dressing room to call a car and pick up his wallet and phone. By the time he’d got back, Aaron Livesy had gone. Robert knocked, then opened the door of the other guest dressing room, but there was just an empty take away coffee cup and no other sign of anyone there. Robert didn’t know why he should care, or why he felt slightly disappointed by Aaron’s absence. Oh well, nothing to be done. He should go home. Or to his hotel room more likely. God, he needed to find somewhere to rent in London, now he’d given the house to Chrissie.

* * *

 

Aaron abused the mini bar then went to sleep, having had enough of the day. He woke up early in the morning and decided to just go back home. He didn’t need to stick around in London, there was nothing for him here. He checked out, and chucked his stuff in the car boot, but before he could get the engine going, his phone rang, and it was a number he didn’t recognise. Something in him hoped for some wild reason that it was Robert as he answered it, even though hoping was stupid.

“Hello?”

“Aaron!” a womans voice said, instantly making Aaron’s heart drop. “Oh I’m glad I caught you, were you asleep?”

“No,” Aaron said. “Just about to drive home. What can I do for you Leyla?”

“I wanted to know how the interview went?” she said.

“Fine,” Aaron said. “The usual, you know how it goes. A few questions about being gay.”

“Did you walk out?” she asked.

“No,” Aaron said. “It’s on the telly, I couldn’t exactly leave.”

“Well, stuff em,” Leyla said and Aaron smiled. He forgot how much he missed her when they weren’t on set together.

“How’s your mum doing?”

“Er… not well,” Leyla said. “She’s had a stroke.”

“God, I’m sorry,” Aaron said. “I didn’t know. We don’t have to talk about the interview, it doesn’t matter.”

“No, give me something normal,” Leyla said. “Me and my sister are arguing like usual, so it’s good to talk about work.”

“I am sorry for your mum,” Aaron said.

“Thanks.” They made small talk for a bit before Aaron hung up and started to drive northwards.

He’d just got out of the hell of central London, finally ticking the miles off when his phone went again, and he answered it. 

“What?”

“Is that how you answer the phone to everyone?” Aaron nearly crashed the car by pressing down on the accelerator before he got himself under control, Robert’s voice unexpected but not unwelcome.

“Sorry, I’m busy,” Aaron said shortly. “I wasn’t expecting you to call me. How did you get my number anyway?”

“I made a phone call to someone,” Robert said shiftily, obviously not wanting to tell Aaron exactly how he’d got his number.

“Hm,” Aaron said, not impressed. He was private, he didn't give his personal phone number out to just anyone. But as it was, Robert calling him made his stomach flip pleasantly, so it wasn't a question he really wanted to dig at right now. “What did you want with me anyway?”

“To apologise,” Robert said. “I was a bit… short with you last night, and I’m sorry.”

“Mm,” Aaron said noncommittally. “Is that it?”

“I’m going through a messy divorce, I’m sometimes… snappier than I should be. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, okay,” Aaron said. "Apology accepted," he added, relenting as he had no idea what going through a divorce in the full glare of the worlds media would be like, though he could imagine it wasn’t pretty. He’d found out about it last night when he’d done some late night googling. Which both made him feel positive (Robert was single) and negative (it wasn’t like he’d shown any indication towards men) and then stupid. Because even if Robert did like men, it wasn’t like he was going to go with Aaron. They were worlds apart, really. Yeah, Aaron was on the TV and in a filming studio for a good chunk of his life, but it was different compared to Robert and his sell out tours. Stop living in fantasy land.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that,” Aaron said, having slipped off into a daydream.

“Am I boring you?” Robert said sharply.

“No, I’m driving,” Aaron said. “Concentrating on turning left and all that.”

“Oh,” Robert said quietly. “I asked if you… fancied a drink one night. Forget it.”

“I can’t,” Aaron said with regret. “I’m going home to Yorkshire. I wasn’t even meant to be doing the show last night, it was because Leyla had a family emergency.”

“Oh, it was just an idea,” Robert said. “Sorry for… yeah, bye.” Robert hung up and Aaron was left frowning. Was he going crazy or was that a really weird conversation?

* * *

 

Robert put down the phone feeling like a prize idiot. Why the hell had he done that? Why had he felt the need to apologise in the first place? Sure, he’d belittled Aaron a little, but no more than he’d done to a thousand other people, so why did it bother him with Aaron? After all, Robert wasn’t the one caught staring. Give it up, Robert thought to himself. Put Aaron out of your mind, and get on with your day.

The fact that Robert’s day involved rewatching the show last night and Aaron’s interview, then binge watching the first three series of Sugar Rush was something he didn’t want to examine too closely.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as this is AU, I'm bringing a character back from the dead. I hope you won't mind too much, and thank you for reading!

By the time Aaron parked outside the Mill, he’d talked himself out of the fact Robert could have possibly, maybe asking him out, instead choosing to believe it was a friendly drink. Not like it really mattered anyway, what with him being stuck in the Yorkshire, did it? No, surely Robert couldn’t have been asking him out…

 _He’ll know you’re gay though,_ a nagging voice said in the back of his mind. He’ll know because it was brought up in the interview. But he’s not, Aaron reminded himself. If he were, someone somewhere would have reported it, and Aaron had had a look on his phone. There was nothing there.

“Aaron!” He jumped out of his skin as Chas rapped her knuckles on the car window. He’d been lost in his own thoughts so much he hadn’t realised he’d been sitting on his driveway staring into nothing. God knows how long he’d been doing that. Aaron got out of the car and smiled at his mum.

“Hiya love! I saw you on the telly last night!” she said, all happy and smiley.

“Did I look all right?” Aaron asked, grabbing his keys and going in the house.

“You looked very smart,” Chas said making Aaron roll his eyes, but it was good natured. 

“Is that why you’re here?” Aaron asked putting the kettle on. “To welcome me home?”

“Are you all right?” Chas asked. “After what he asked you?”

“About being gay?” Aaron said sharply. “Yeah I’m fine. You get worse than that on the street.” Chas didn’t look happy. “Mum, it’s fine,” he said. “I deal with it. I’m not the one with a problem, it’s their problem not mine.”

“Let me set you up with someone,” Chas said. “He’s really nice and… uncomplicated.”

“Since when have I ever gone for someone uncomplicated?” Aaron asked, which did at least have the benefit of making her smile.

“No, you don’t,” Chas said. “You go for the most messed up men imaginable.”

“Mum,” Aaron said lightly. “All right, go on. Whoever it is, I’ll meet up with him. For one drink,” he added at Chas’s beaming face. “Just one, okay?”

“Perfect!” she said. “Oh, you’ll just love him.”

“I doubt that,” Aaron said. But he would at least give it a try.

* * *

Robert had a few days where he didn’t have anything to do, which meant he basically holed up in his hotel room and that suited him perfectly. He asked his PA to find him a place to rent in London, because he didn’t want to be wasting his money on a hotel room indefinitely. Even though he had more money than he could ever spend, there was a part of him that would never be able to let go of the farmers son who had to scrimp and save for every penny. Then he went to visit his mother, use his time off for something good.

It was early afternoon, she should be home and he liked to check in with her every so often. Robert called a private car to get to her flat, then walked into the building with a nod to the doorman who recognised him. As soon as he was making good money, the first thing he’d done was buy his mum a place to live, and paid for her physical therapy to recover from the burns. He wanted her to have everything she needed, even when Robert was away for long periods of time touring.

He knocked on the door of her flat and waited until she opened the door, smiling when she saw Robert. “Hi!” she said brightly. “I wasn’t expecting you today.”

“I’ve got a few days off,” Robert said. “I wanted to see you.” He gave her a hug and Sarah smiled at him proudly. “You’re a good boy.”

“Man,” Robert corrected.

“I’ve been reading about your divorce in the papers,” Sarah said, going to make a cup of tea for them both.

“Yes, I know,” Robert said darkly, collapsing onto the sofa. “Chrissie’s fine.”

“Why did you marry her if you didn’t love her?” Sarah asked.

“I did love her,” Robert said, stung. “At the time. I just… was stupid.”

“Yes,” Sarah agreed.

“Thanks.”

“I love you,” Sarah said. “But I’m not about to tell you that you weren’t an idiot.” Sarah paused, looking at Robert’s face before deciding to push it. “Was there someone else?”

“What?” Robert asked. “Is that in the paper?”

“No, that’s your mother asking.”

Robert hesitated. Admitting his failings never came easily, let alone the fact he cheated. “No, I’m not in love with someone else, but yeah, I cheated.”

“Oh, Robert, why?” Sarah said and he hated the disappointment there.”

“Because we didn’t love each other any more,” Robert said. “And I like to make bad situations worse.”

Sarah sighed. “Not arguing with that one. I just want you happy, that’s all.”

“I know you do,” Robert said. “I think you’re the only one who does sometimes.”

“Don’t feel sorry for yourself,” Sarah chided lightly.

“You’re right,” Robert said. “How’s physical therapy going?” Sarah let the subject be changed and Robert was grateful.

In the car on the way home, Robert thought about the fire. He’d only been 15 when it’d happened, and he was there. He knew Sarah was trapped inside the building and he’d fallen apart. When the firemen had pulled her from the blaze, he was sure she was dead. So were they. But through some miracle, she wasn’t dead, even though she had severe burns and remained in hospital for skin grafts for several months. Even now the burning was quite severe. Robert could only see the scarring on her right hand on the right side of her face because she covered the rest of her burns with what she wore, but it had changed her life dramatically. She’d left Jack, couldn’t stay with him, and in the end, when Jack kicked Robert out, his mum was the only place he had to run to. Without her, he’d never have had the time to find his talent for music, and he certainly wouldn’t be famous now.

 _Why had he called Aaron this morning?_ The thought drifted across his mind uninvited. He hadn’t really thought it through before hand. He’d asked his assistant to try and track Aaron’s number down, which hadn’t actually been that hard from the show the night before. But he hadn’t thought it through before calling him. He hadn’t been asking him out, not really, he just thought an apology drink. But then, that made no sense, did it? He knew Aaron was gay, but… Robert wasn’t attracted to men. He knew that about himself, so what was it about Aaron that was invading his thoughts so much?

The car pulled up outside his hotel and he thanked the driver. Before he could get out of the car, his phone rang and it was his PA. “You asked me about Aaron Livesy?” 

“Yes,” Robert said. “Why, anything come up?”

“He owns a house in Emmerdale,” she said. “Which is where your house is, right?”

“He owns a house there?” Robert repeated. “Which one?”

“The Mill?” she said. “There’s a whole article about a year ago online, some show pictures of his house. It wasn’t hard to find the information.”

“Okay, great,” Robert said. “Thanks.” He hung up and bit his bottom lip, thinking to himself. Maybe he should go home and give the village a visit. Couldn’t hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

 

Aaron wanted to kill his mother. He was on a date with potentially the most boring man on the planet. Finn was nice and all, but Aaron didn’t need a shag that badly and they had nothing in common. He managed to wriggle out of it after just the one drink, rather than it going on all night, skulking behind the bar. He intended to make an escape to the back room, when the door of the pub opened. He only caught sight of him out of the corner of his eye, but when he looked back, he saw Robert. Most of the pub had stopped talking and looked at the new arrival with recognition. His face was everywhere after all. Robert clearly was used to the attention because the hush, followed by loud chattering from the villagers didn’t bother him a bit. Aaron didn’t want to look at him, so he ducked into the backroom before he could think better of it. No one would bother him, they’d be too busy with the latest celebrity in town. Yeah, Aaron was on the telly, but Robert was in a completely different league. Which was fine with Aaron, he wouldn’t want to be fawned over wherever he went. A bit of recognition was fine, sometimes really enjoyable, but not having a whole room of strangers start talking about you the second you walked in.

Aaron did some quick thinking, then he left the pub through the back door, and went around to the front of the building. He saw some sleek car, he couldn’t see the make in the darkness, but it had to be Robert’s. A Porsche maybe? It didn’t matter. For some reason he didn’t know, Aaron waited by Robert’s car for him to appear.

* * *

 

Robert braced himself before he walked into the Woolpack, because he hadn't been back here in years. A decade maybe? However long it had been, he felt unexpectedly nervous. He talked himself out of that, though, because most people he knew from a teenager didn't live here anymore, and he walked through the door. Within a few seconds everyone was looking at him, which while he had expected it, you never really got used to it. He briefly looked over the pub, seeing Aaron disappear through behind the bar. Or at least, he thought it was Aaron, there was a certain similarity to the stance if it wasn’t him. He peered over the barmaids shoulder, but he couldn't see any clearer, and the man had gone anyway. He walked up to the bar, ignoring the villagers for the moment and smiled at the woman behind the bar.

“What’re you doing here?” she said, not particularly star struck, but very smiley.

“Hello to you too,” he said. “I was wondering if Aaron Livesy was around here, or if I’ve got the wrong place?”

“What do you want with him?” she asked, her friendly tone dropping at once. Ah, Robert thought. He had definitely got the right place. Why he was asking for him, he hadn’t thought through, though he did have his excuse ready.

“He left something at the studio last week,” Robert said. “His jacket. I need to find him to give it back.”

“Don’t you have assistants to do that for you?” she said with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “But I wanted to come and check on my house now that my ex wife’s kicked me out.”

“So you’re staying around here?” she asked.

“I might be,” Robert said cagily. “Is he around here or not?”

“He was,” she said. “Don’t know where he slopped off to, but yeah. Give it to me, I’ll see he gets it.”

“Who are you?” Robert said, getting a little bit irritated now.

“Chas Dingle,” she said. “I’m Aaron’s mother.”

“Oh,” Robert said simply. “Well, hi, I’m guessing you know who I am.”

“The whole world knows who you are,” Chas said. 

“Thanks,” Robert said dully, before turning and leaving the pub. He thought he might get lucky, even though when he saw Aaron again he had no idea what he’d say to him.

Robert gripped his keys tightly in his hand as he left the pub, feeling eyes in his back and the buzz of conversation behind him until he hit the cold air of outside and he breathed deeply, enjoying the fresh air. He’d parked in front of the pub, not planning on staying long, and then he saw a figure leaning against the car. Getting a few steps nearer, he recognised Aaron.

“Aaron,” he said quietly.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Aaron snapped, angry. “Are you following me? I say no to a drink so you think, oh I’ll just travel 200 miles to stalk him?!”

“What?” Robert said, perplexed. “I’m not… I’ve got a house about a mile up the road. I’m coming home for a bit until my manager tells me to get my arse back in the recording studio.”

“Riiiight,” Aaron said slowly. “And I’m supposed to believe it’s just a coincidence?”

“Yeah,” Robert said, in a tone that convinced no one. “I have nowhere to go, so I thought I’d come home.”

“Then why go into the pub? You must know the attention you’d get.”

“I was… looking for you,” Robert admitted.

“Why?” Aaron pushed. “Come on, Robert, tell me why. You weren’t exactly nice to me the only time we’d met.”

"Well I wasn't expecting to be gawped at," Robert snapped. “I just…” Robert sighed deeply. “Forget it. Move and I’ll get in my car and drive off, you won’t have to see me again.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Aaron said. “Why are you looking for me?”

“Curiosity,” Robert settled on, though that didn’t sound right. He couldn't exactly word it.

“Really,” Aaron said darkly. “Sure it wasn’t for this?” Aaron leaned closer, eyes dipping to Robert’s mouth and it was clear what Aaron intended and Robert backed off, giving Aaron a shove for good measure.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Robert snapped.

“Oh come on,” Aaron said. “You’re not that hard to read.”

“No!” Robert gripped Aaron’s hoodie tightly, thrusting him against the car hard. That didn’t dissuade Aaron, because instead of looking rattled or alarmed he looked up at Robert’s mouth, almost smug, and Robert let go of him instantly, pushing past him to get to the drivers seat. He revved the engine, then drove out of the village as fast as he possibly could, heart racing fast.

Aaron watched him go until the sound of the car faded away into the night, and then frowned, rubbing a hand over his face. He shouldn’t have gone for it just now. He should have waited, because it was clear Robert himself didn't have a clue what he was doing. Going for a kiss? That was a stupid mistake. He bit his bottom lip, trying to fight the urge to just go up to Roberts and finish what they'd started.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while since I've updated, but I'm trying not to pressure myself too much to write! Hope you enjoy the chapter, and thanks for sticking with it!

Robert’s heart rate had just about calmed down by the time he parked outside Home Farm, though his mind was still spinning. He hadn’t expected that, hadn’t even planned for it, and he’d panicked, thinking he had to get out of there as soon as possible. He unlocked the door to the house and walked in, suddenly realising that it was an empty house. He had no furniture, nothing and the place looked almost derelict. Robert had put in an offer for this place six years ago when it came on the market, because he really wanted this house, but he’d never done anything with it. He’d just left it, empty and abandoned, and the house looked it.

He flicked a light on and was surprised that the electrics were still on and functional. He was probably paying a bill somewhere along the line. In order to calm himself down and forget about Aaron, at least somewhat, he got his phone out and started ordering furniture online. He needed something to actually make this house a house after all, and it was a decent enough distraction.

* * *

 

Aaron hadn’t slept well. He kept kicking himself for going for it with Robert, and for pushing him when the man clearly didn’t accept his attraction to men. He shouldn’t have tried to kiss him. But Robert had been there, Aaron had been a little angry for feeling like Robert was following him, and a lot attracted to him. The man was gorgeous, it didn’t surprise Aaron in the slightest that his good looks had got him to where he was now. But that nervous, unsure look on his face, Aaron didn’t like that at all, which is why he shouldn’t have tried to kiss him.

By early afternoon the next day, Aaron had made a decision. He was going to go up to Home Farm and talk to Robert. Maybe in the cold light of day, things would be easier, clearer.

Aaron drove up there, looking up at the sky and hoping it wouldn’t rain, though the clouds were heavy and grey. A typical Yorkshire day when all said and done. He locked the car, and braced himself before knocking on the door of Robert’s house. It took a few seconds before Robert answered, and Aaron got a moment to admire him, because he was on the phone. Jeans slung low on his hips, a tour T shirt, presumably his own showing off his arms and Aaron made a point to look at Robert’s face so he wouldn’t get distracted.

“I’ll call you back.” Robert disconnected the call and looked at Aaron, unsure what he was here for. “Can I help you?”

“About last night…”

“I’m not interested,” Robert said coldly, the same exterior that Aaron had first seen in the dressing room.

“Look, I’m sorry,” Aaron said, to Robert’s surprise. “It’s none of my business if you’re in the closet, or not ready to face reality, I shouldn’t have pushed you, and I’m sorry.”

“I’m not in the closet!” Robert snapped, stung by that assumption.

“Okay,” Aaron said in a tone that clearly didn’t believe him.

“Aaron!” Robert said, taking half a step out of the door, as if to stop him. “Why would you think that?!”

“I’ve been out a while,” Aaron said simply and bluntly. “I know what a man looks like when he wants me.” Robert spluttered at that. “It’s fine if you’re not ready. I was just here to apologise for pushing. I won’t do it again. I…” Aaron didn’t finish his sentence because they both turned to see a huge lorry coming down the drive.

“Oh, I’m having furniture delivered,” Robert said, suddenly remembering. “The house is empty, I ordered it last night.”

“Oh,” Aaron said, as the guy parked up and got out of the cabin with a clipboard, nodding at them both. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“Do you…” Robert started. “Want to come in for a few beers?” he asked almost shyly. “It’s a lot of flat pack stuff, so it needs assembling.”

“And I’m your skivy?” Aaron asked, making Robert shrug. “Yeah, a beer would be good.” Robert smiled at him before turning to the delivery driver and signing for his stuff.

* * *

 

It felt slightly awkward at first, Aaron in his otherwise empty house as Robert got him a drink. He’d also ordered a food shop online too that had come earlier. He passed Aaron his beer who muttered a cheers, before unboxing some of the stuff.

“Anywhere you want me to start?”

“Oh, I really don’t care,” Robert said, off hand. He groaned quietly as he sat on the floor, looking at the mess of boxes.

“I wouldn’t have had you down for flat pack furniture,” Aaron scoffed, scanning over the instructions.

“It was cheap and quick,” Robert explained. “I need something here to keep my stuff in. I’ll get better stuff later.”

“Didn’t it occur to you that your house was empty?” Aaron asked, trying to get a screw in.

“Not until I was here,” Robert said. “I had to have this house, so when it came up on the market, I just bought it.”

“Why?” Aaron asked, taking a sip of his drink. “Why this place?”

Robert paused for a long time before speaking. “My dad,” Robert said quietly. Aaron looked away from him, trying not to break the moment. Trying to keep Robert speaking. “I was always the worse son,” Robert said. “The disappointment. The… waste of space. I wasn’t interested in farming. He always thought I’d do badly in life, and having this house, being able to buy it was almost like I’d made it, I’d proved him wrong.”

“He probably didn’t think that,” Aaron said quietly.

“You didn’t know him,” Robert said, slightly harshly.

“No,” Aaron said. “I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter, he’s dead.”

“If it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t have bought the house,” Aaron said.

“Yeah, well,” Robert said with a shrug. “I’ve still got my mum.”

They fell into a silence, more comfortable than when Aaron had just arrived, and Robert watched him, watched the concentration on Aaron’s face in profile, the way he bit his bottom lip, his gorgeous eyes. Robert felt attracted to him, he realised making his stomach flip unpleasantly. God, he was, Robert wanted him, and he had no idea what the hell to do with that information.

Aaron rolled up the sleeves of his purple hoodie and distracted Robert from that line of thought by Aaron’s bare forearms. Or rather, the marks on his left arm.

“You can ask,” Aaron said softly. Robert looked at his face quickly. “I saw you looking,” Aaron said, rubbing a hand over the marks.

“Yeah, I er… Not really any of my business, is it?”

“Parents always screw us up in all kinds of ways,” Aaron said, not going into details. “I don’t do it any more.”

“Do you talk to anyone about it?” Robert asked, trying to keep his voice level.

“Got a shrink,” Aaron said gruffly. “She… helped.”

“Aaron…”

“I need another drink,” Aaron said, effectively shutting off the conversation and Robert didn’t argue. It was personal, and he barely knew Aaron. But he couldn’t argue how comfortable he felt around him, as he went to get another beer.

* * *

They worked together easily, a few laughs, talking about nothing serious and Aaron found he really enjoyed Robert’s company. That was unexpected, because yeah, Robert may well be gorgeous, Aaron already knew that. Talented too, he had to be, being so successful. He hadn’t expected to actually appreciate his personality.

It was getting grim outside, the daylight fading and Aaron knew he should go. “I should be getting back,” Aaron said.

“You don’t have to,” Robert said with half a smile. Aaron shook his head.

“Gotta walk back to the village, I’ve drunk too much to drive. So have you,” he added, before Robert could answer.

“Okay,” Robert said. “Well… thanks for your help.”

“You need a sofa mate,” Aaron said. “There’s only so much time I can spend sitting on the floor.”

“Yeah,” Robert agreed with a smile. “Bye Aaron.”

Aaron nodded goodbye, the fleeting desire to kiss him crossing his mind, that Aaron refused to act on. He didn’t want to spoil the day, or be rejected quite frankly. He nodded at Robert, then started to walk up the drive, and back home. He knew that Robert was watching him until he was out of sight, he could feel the eyes in his back.

* * *

The next day Aaron walked up to his car, noticing that Robert’s car wasn’t here, and that the lights in Home Farm were off, so Robert wasn’t home. He felt a slight twinge of disappointment but mentally shrugged it off, before finding a not on his windscreen. _Thanks_. Aaron smiled, took the note off the car and drove it back to the village.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An anon asked me when I was going to update, so I got my arse in gear and wrote this! Sorry for the wait! On the shorter side, but at least it's something! robron-til-the-end on tumblr if you want to chat!

  
Robert couldn’t stop thinking of Aaron. He had binge watched the TV series he was in a few days ago, but he rewatched a certain scene that had Aaron shirtless in it. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what he was looking for, or the two things he was looking for. Firstly, his scars on his left arm weren’t visible. Robert purposefully looked for them. Make up? Or had he done them after, the clip was at least a year old. Aaron hadn’t said he’d done them himself, but that was what Robert assumed because... it looked like it. Why? Why did Aaron feel that need? He knew it was private though, and that Aaron wasn’t about to tell him, someone who was an almost stranger. The scene escalated until Alice, played by Leyla Harding came in, all flustered and ended up in a passionate embrace with Aaron. Even though he knew it was all fake, all created for the illusion, it was hot. He could admit that.

Replaying it, he watched again. He was admiring Aaron’s body, that’s what he was doing, he realised, sending a cold shock through him. God, Robert wanted to touch him. He wanted to run his hands over the planes of Aaron’s body, to know exactly what he felt like. He shut his laptop forcefully, heart racing. He’d never wanted a man before. Never even entertained it. It wasn’t something he’d been burying, he’d never looked at a man and thought “I want him.” Had he? Now questioning everything he’d ever know. Is this why he hadn’t been able to make it work with Chrissie? Was he gay? He ran through several of his more colourful sexual exploits in his mind and shook his head. No. Definitely not gay. He enjoyed women far too much and for far too long to be pretending.

So… what then? Robert thought of Aaron’s eyes, beautiful gorgeous blue eyes that the show did a great way of showing off. He wanted to spend more time with him. That much he knew. They were in two different worlds, and sooner or later Robert would be away on tour, Aaron would be on set… it just… there was no reason in the world for Robert to want to try with Aaron. Nervous and scared because he had never even thought about this before. But he did want to.

* * *

Looking under the bonnet Aaron’s hands were covered in oil as he tried to fix the engine. He could have given it to Cain to fix, but part of him wanted to know if he still had the touch.

“Here’s a coffee to say thanks.” Aaron jerked up, hitting his head on the raised bonnet with a thud and an “oof!” He put a hand to his head, feeling the bump there already. Knocking himself out by hitting his head on his car while covered in oil was not the impression Aaron wanted to give Robert who held out a take away coffee cup for him.

“Sorry,” Robert said. “Didn’t mean to distract you.”

“It’s all right,” Aaron said off hand, taking the coffee. He also made sure to brush across Robert’s fingers very slightly. Just to touch him because he wanted to. No dramatic electric frisson or anything, but Aaron did want to have that. “Thanks for what?”

“Helping me with the furniture the other day,” Robert said. “I appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Aaron said, taking the coffee and taking a sip before putting it on the roof of his car.

“Why’re you doing that?” Robert asked. “There’s a garage up the road.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I wanted to see if I still could, that’s all. I’m no slouch when it comes to cars.”

“So I see,” Robert said. “How did you become an actor anyway?”

“What does that mean?” Aaron asked defensively.

“You don’t seem…” Robert shook his head. That sentence couldn’t end well. “Doesn’t matter.”

Aaron relented. “I didn’t go looking for it,” Aaron said, focusing on the engine so he wouldn’t look at Robert while talking about his past. “Someone was looking for a kid for their latest production. The casting director was… very picky. They had a specific look in mind for the teenager they wanted and they had a look around my school. I fit. I got very lucky.”

“You’re talented,” Robert said.

“No, I got lucky,” Aaron repeated. “I was sixteen and I needed to get out of there. I was angry all the time, I just… needed the break. I don’t know what would have happened to me if I looked slightly wrong, or if I was skiving off school that day. My life would be completely different.”

“But you are talented though,” Robert said softly. Aaron looked up at him.

“Have you been watching some of my stuff?” Aaron asked.

“Might have,” Robert admitted, a shy smile on his face. Aaron tried not to feel a mixture of flattered and embarrassed and failed on both counts.

“As long as it’s not the early stuff,” Aaron said. “God, I can’t even think of that.” Robert laughed, an easy delightful sound that made something in Aaron twist. He wanted to hear Robert laugh more.

“How about you?” Aaron said. “How did you get into music?”

“My mother,” Robert said softly. “My dad didn’t like me messing around with a guitar or anything. Felt like it was a waste of time. I taught myself, then my mum forced me to have lessons.” Robert smiled, lost in the memory. “I didn’t want to at the time. Thought I knew better, but I let her have her way.” Robert smiled. “When dad kicked me out, I went to her. She took me in, she didn’t have to. She’s not… mine biologically, so once she left my dad… anyway, she took me in. I busked for a bit…”

Aaron snorted with laughter and Robert looked at him, drawn out of the story. “Sorry. Can’t imagine you busking.”

“Why is it so absurd?”

“You?” Aaron said with a grin. “You with your house on the hill, lording it over the village, liking the finer things in life, giving your wife a two million pound settlement for your divorce?”

“It wasn’t two million quid,” Robert said, then caught on. “Have you been reading the press about me?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, completely without shame. “It’s all the papers are talking about, and why you’re leaving your wife when you made a picture perfect couple.”

“Artistic differences,” Robert said sarcastically.

“Come on,” Aaron said. “Why did you split up with her?”

“Because…” Robert looked up and down the street. “I’ll deny this if you ever breathe a word, but… I slept with someone else. She didn’t take it too well.”

“Oh,” Aaron said, raising his eyebrows briefly. “You’re that guy.” That was unfortunate.

“No, Aaron,” Robert said surely. “I’m not.” He smiled at Aaron, nodded, then left, Aaron watching him walk away.

* * *

Robert hated the disappointment in Aaron’s voice when he’d told him about his infidelity. Why had he told him? He didn’t know Aaron, didn’t know if he could be trusted, but something about his face, his demeanour, it almost invited confidences and Robert had found himself saying it. He walked through the village to where he’d left his car, then looked at his hand. He had a dark smudge on his fingers. Oil from Aaron’s car, must have got on him when he passed Aaron his coffee. He curled his hand into a fist, keeping the touch tight to him. It wasn’t a feeling he was going to examine closely. His phone rang, and he sighed, getting back to business.


	8. Chapter 8

 

Robert would have liked to pretend he hadn’t set an alarm for the first episode of the new season of Sugar Rush. But he was just as keen to watch it as everyone else seemed to be. The credits rolled and the episode opened with Leyla’s character happy with a bloke that wasn’t Aaron. Robert tuned out, because being honest with himself, he was only watching for one man and he knew that. Conversation happened, and then the scene shifted to Aaron. He wore a button up shirt but it was completely open at the front, giving a great shot of Aaron’s upper body. He had a mug of tea or something and was looking out the window wistfully, presumably pining over Leyla. But Robert couldn’t get over the look in his face. Sadness pouring out of every line of him without him over dramatically moving or saying a word of script. Aaron was good at his job, he knew that. But God, he wanted him.

* * *

 

Opening his front door, Aaron gave Leyla a hug. “I’m sorry,” Aaron said.

“Thanks,” Leyla said, pulling back. “I know it’s better for her to go than be in pain all the time, but…”

“Can I do anything for you?” Aaron asked. “A brew?”

“That would be great, thanks,” Leyla said, grateful. Aaron saw her through to the kitchen and made her a tea. 

“Were you with your mum when she…”

“Yeah,” Leyla said. “My sister too, which was good. God, it’s good to see a friendly face.”

“I thought you came around here for my charm,” Aaron said sarcastically making her smile.

“I want to talk about something else,” Leyla said. “I’ve had enough of my mum and funerals and death, can we…”

“Sure,” Aaron said. “Change the subject to whatever you want.”

“How’s your love life going?” Leyla asked as Aaron handed her her drink.

“It’s not,” Aaron said darkly.

“Oh?” she said. “That sounds like a story.”

“I have met someone,” Aaron said, thinking about his words carefully. “But he’s not…”

“What, not interested in you?” I can’t believe that.”

“He’s in the closet,” Aaron settled on. “He doesn’t want to admit that he likes me.”

“But… he does like you?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. 

“Not overconfident?” she asked.

“I’m fairly sure,” Aaron said.

“I know you’re a good kisser, he’ll have no chance.”

“I’ve not kissed him yet,” Aaron said. “I want to, I really do, but I can’t really… I’ve got nowhere to go until he accepts that he likes me.”

“Okay,” Leyla said, taking a sip of her tea. “But you are sure… how?”

“It’s the way he looks at me,” Aaron said. “He’s got no reason to hang around me either, but he is.”

“Be patient,” Leyla advised.

“I’m trying but…”

“Fit?” Leyla said.

“You’ve got no idea,” Aaron said lowly. 

“Have you got it bad?” Leyla asked with a sly smile.

“No, course not,” Aaron said, though he wasn’t sure how true that was. He did really like Robert and the more time he spent around him, the more he liked him. Robert wasn’t arrogant, he wasn’t distant, he wasn’t like his persona that his record label liked to portray. He was just… Robert.

* * *

“Robert, you’ve gone off the grid,” was the greeting on the phone from his manager, instead of the standard hello.

“I’m having a few days off,” Robert said cagily.

“Which is all well and good, but your album is released next week and you have a week of signings all over the country.”

Robert sighed. He’d known this but he still didn’t want the reminder that his time off was coming to an end. “London’s the first one, right?”

“Yeah, Monday morning.”

“Great,” Robert said. “I’ll be there. Just… give me a couple more days. I’ll turn up where I’m supposed to be, I’ve never let you down before have I?”

“No,” he said. “You’re very reliable and a hard worker. Which is why we signed you in the first place. Anyone can be fit, plenty of people have a good voice, but we knew you’d work hard. Don’t let us down, Robert.”

“I swear, I will be there,” Robert said. “I’ve just got to get my head straight, okay?”

“Is it drugs, cocaine?”

“God no!!” Robert said incredibly quickly. _Just good old fashioned lust_ , he thought before he could stop himself.

“Just… get back here Rob.”

“I will,” Robert said before disconnecting the call.

* * *

Robert went to the pub on Saturday night. He still got a few stares from recognition and a lot of whispers, but it had died down from the first time. He looked around the pub but couldn’t see Aaron anywhere. “What do you want?” Chas asked, not entirely pleasantly, but Robert took it.

“A pint if it’s going,” Robert said and she nodded, doing it. “Er… Aaron about?”

“No, why?” she asked, holding out her hand for the cash.

“Because we’ve become friends,” Robert said, trying and failing to win her over.

“Mm,” she said, giving him a glare that wouldn’t have been out of place on Aaron. “If you’re so friendly, why don’t you text him?”

“Yeah,” Robert said, getting his phone out. “I’ll do that.” Robert sent Aaron a text before he could talk himself out of it. “I’m in the pub. Fancy a drink? R.”

It took about five minutes for a reply to come through. “Sounds good. Be there soon.” Robert couldn’t help the smile, and he watched the door while pretending he wasn’t for the next ten minutes until Aaron came in. He clocked Robert, nodded before getting a drink from his mum and coming over.

“Hi,” Aaron said, smiling at him. “Couldn’t keep away?”

Robert rolled his eyes as Aaron sat opposite him. Black hoodie open, white T shirt underneath, a little bit of stubble. He looked good. He looked younger than the character he played too, Robert noticed.

“Finished looking?” Aaron asked, smirking into his pint as he drank.

“I watched you the other night,” Robert said. “You’re very different.”

“Means I’m doing my job right,” Aaron said.

“True,” Robert said.

“Are you hanging around then?” Aaron asked.

“I can’t,” Robert said. “Duty calls. I’ve got to do some album signings, then the tour and… work.”

“Oh,” Aaron said. “That’s a shame.” He blatantly looked Robert up and down, and Robert felt a little hot under the collar. He had people stare at him all the time, it came with the job, but not this blatant, and it didn’t usually effect him like this.

Robert leaned closer to Aaron across the table. “Are you flirting with me, Livesy?”

“I’m doing my best,” Aaron said with a grin which made Robert full out laugh. He liked seeing Aaron’s eyes sparkle like that. He didn’t get any further though, because Vic came over.

“You’ve met my brother, then?” she said to Aaron.

“Yeah, a couple of times,” Aaron said. “Didn’t know you were his sister though.”

“Robert didn’t mention me?” Vic said.

“Other things to talk about,” Robert said. “Do feel free to interrupt though.”

She either didn’t hear it or ignored the sarcasm in his tone and pulled up a chair, making Aaron roll his eyes. Within five minutes she was introducing her new boyfriend to her brother, Ellis something, and Robert was undoubtedly judging him. With two new people around the table, Aaron had ended up being pushed close to Robert, almost pressed into his side. Robert was far too busy judging this Ellis to notice.

Or he was up until Aaron put his hand on Robert’s thigh. Robert froze, his entire body going rigid and Aaron thought he’d misjudged this terribly, and took his hand back. He didn’t want to push Robert somewhere he was uncomfortable, that was the last thing he wanted.

“Sorry,” Aaron said quietly, like he’d just kicked Robert under the table.

“It’s fine,” Robert said, listening to Vic, and watching Ellis who definitely seemed a little bit star struck by Robert, which was hardly surprising, he thought.

Ellis was talking about his job when Aaron felt it. Very tentative, but Robert had reached out for him, his palm resting on Aaron’s thigh. Aaron shot him a look, but he didn’t move away. Roberts fingers flexed a little, wrapping around Aaron’s leg, and he gulped at his drink, everyone around the table ignoring Ellis now.

Robert took one finger and traced the outside seam of Aaron’s jeans, following the line slowly up his leg. Aaron let that go on for about a minute, getting harder at Roberts almost tentative touch until he grabbed at Robert’s wrist to stop him. Robert suddenly seemed to realise what he was doing.

“I should go,” Robert said, finishing his drink. “I’ve got an early start. Got to get to London and stuff.” He left the pub, leaving Vic complaining and Aaron followed as quickly as was decent. He found Robert sitting in his car and Aaron opened the drivers door before he could leave.

“Should you be driving?”

“Probably not,” Robert said. “I only had one, I should be fine to get home.”

“Robert…”

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Robert said. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Aaron bent so he was more at eye level with Robert. “It’s okay,” he said. “To be attracted to me. Or any man, it is okay.”

Robert swallowed thickly. “I’m not used to this,” he admitted, whispering. “Not used to feeling… so completely out of my depth and out of control.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Aaron, I’m straight and I can’t keep doing this. I shouldn’t have called you. Just forget it and forget me.”

“Robert, I can’t forget you,” Aaron said, allowing himself to be vulnerable, just this once. “I couldn’t even if I tried.”

“I’m sorry,” Robert said. “I’m sorry this isn’t going to work.” He moved to start the car and Aaron stopped him.

“Okay,” Aaron said. “But I’m done chasing. If you change your mind and want me, you’ve got to do the running this time. I’m not coming after you.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been so long since I updated! Sorry! Thank you for being patient with me, and if you're still here reading! This took so long mainly because Robert's gone in a direction I didn't plan, so the stuff I *had* planned for this fic had to pretty much be scrapped.

Double checking his passport was in his jacket, Aaron made a quick detour to the pub on Monday morning. He’d meant it when he’d told Robert he wasn’t chasing anymore. This wasn’t entirely new to him, he’d gone for men who were in the closet before, but Robert… God, he was different, he was getting under his skin, and Aaron barely even knew him. Wasn’t likely to either, he reminded himself. Robert was now working on his sell out tour or whatever else his management told him to do. It could never be a normal relationship with him, it was too complicated. Yes, Aaron fancied him and he could still feel the ghost of Robert’s touch on his leg whenever he thought about that tentative moment, but… maybe it really was too much.

Knocking once, he pushed the back door of the pub open and found his mum drinking her morning coffee. “Oh, hi!” she said brightly. “Didn’t know you were coming.”

“Er… yeah,” Aaron said. “I can’t stop, I’ve got a plane to catch. I wanted to tell you I’m going away for a couple of weeks.”

“Oh?” she said.

“Last minute thing,” Aaron said. “I’m on a break from filming, so I just want to get away. Have a proper holiday.”

“Thanks for telling me,” Chas said, rolling her eyes. “Where are you off to?”

“Ibiza,” Aaron said.

“I don’t want to know what you’re going to get up to there,” Chas said darkly, making Aaron sigh under his breath.

“I need to relax,” Aaron said. “One more thing, you know those tour tickets I gave you for your birthday?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you give the other one to Paddy or…”

“No, I haven’t.”

“I was wondering…”

Chas smiled at him. “Do you want to go with me?”

“Wouldn’t mind,” Aaron said, pretending like it didn’t matter. Because yes, he did want to go very much. Even if Robert could never admit he was attracted to men, that didn’t stop Aaron wanting to see him, and fantasising about him, did it?

“I’d love that,” Chas said, smiling at him and pulling him into a hug. “You’ve made your mum very happy.” Aaron didn’t point out that it was more for his benefit than hers. “You like Robert don’t you?”

“What?” Aaron said, instantly trying to back track what he’d said, where he'd given something away.

“Just… he said you’re friends, you were in here drinking with him over the weekend… I notice,” Chas said.

“We’re friendly I guess,” Aaron said. “I don’t know, it’s a different world for him isn’t it?”

“You’re not nothing,” Chas said, indignant.

“Yeah, but he’s… well, you know what he is. A bit arrogant.”

Chas hmmed in agreement. “I’ll be back home in a couple of weeks,” Aaron said. “Don’t worry about me.”

“I always do,” Chas said. “Part of being a mum.” Aaron acted like she was being over dramatic, but a part of him really liked that she cared.

* * *

The hubbub of fans was incredibly loud in the shop, rising to fever pitch as Robert walked in, security on both sides. He hadn’t spoken, called or texted Aaron again since that night in the pub. It was the first of this weeks album signings, but he’d be lying if he said Aaron wasn’t at the front of his mind. He kept swinging between frustration and annoyance at himself, for letting things go that far with Aaron in the first place, giving Aaron an idea that he was interested, and then felt annoyed with himself that he hadn’t just gone for it. Deep down he was curious what Aaron would feel like, taste like. But he was straight, so how did that work? For Gods sake he’d been married to a woman, cheated on his wife with a woman, he wasn’t gay.

Focusing on the job in hand he smiled, and signed peoples albums, all happy fans in front of him. This is what he was good at. Get your head out of the clouds, Sugden. It’s not helping.

At the end of the day, and three separate album signings, Robert was knackered and his back had started to ache when Jonathan approached him. His manager, that never meant anything good.

“Yeah?” Robert said tiredly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothings wrong,” Robert said shortly.

“You’ve been in a mood all day,” Jonathan said. “It’s not like you. Is this because your wife left you?”

“No,” Robert said quickly. “It’s nothing to do with her.”

“So it is something then?” Jonathan said. “Talk to me.”

“I’ll get over it, it’s fine,” Robert said. “It’s nothing.”

“Robert, do you need me to call the company and…”

“No,” Robert said firmly, knowing where this was going.

“If you want something casual, something the press won’t pick up on, it’s the best way…”

“I’m planning to go back to the hotel, and have a drink,” Robert said. “Nothing more.”

“Okay,” Jonathan said. “Be in a better frame of mind tomorrow.”

* * *

 

Robert had just finished a room service dinner, having a whisky in hand when there was a knock on the door. He considered ignoring it for a second before answering it, thinking it could be someone important.

He saw a beautiful brunette woman he didn’t recognise, smiling at him. “Yes?”

“Hi,” she said with a seductive smile, pushing her way into Robert’s hotel room. “I’m Amber.” The way she was dressed, the fake smile and the way she was looking at the bed, Robert guessed she was a prostitute and saw red. He felt incredibly angry, knowing what must have happened. “Give me a minute,” Robert said, grabbing his phone and calling Jonathan as quickly as he could get his name on screen.

“Yep?”

“Are you crazy?” Robert asked conversationally.

“Oh,” Jonathan said. “The escort turned up.”

“What was it about our conversation early said “Oh yes, lets send a prostitute to Robert, that’ll cheer him up?!”

“ _Escort_ , Robert,” he said, and Robert rolled his eyes.

“I said no,” Robert said through gritted teeth.

“Well something’s got to snap you out of your mood,” Jonathan said. “You can’t go out for a night clubbing, because it’ll be on the front page of every tabloid, whatever you get up to, and this is far safer.”

“That’s not an excuse!” Robert snapped. “Look, I’ve just gone through a divorce. I’m sorry if I can’t be bright an happy all the time. I do my job, I do the work, so back off.”

“Robert, you’re not writing songs,” Jonathan said. “I’ve worked with you for years, and I know this isn’t a Chrissie thing. You’ve had your run ins with her over the years, but this isn’t that.”

“My albums just been released, I don’t need to be writing right now,” Robert said quickly.

“That might work for PR, it’s not going to work for me,” Jonathan said. “I’ve known you too long. I’m sorry if I got the wrong end of the stick, but Robert… this isn’t like you and it needs sorting.”

Robert didn’t even reply to that, he just ended the call. He hadn’t thought he’d been that bad to work with. Distracted sure, he knew that well enough, but…

“Should I…?” Amber said, taking her jacket off and closing the gap between them. Robert shook his head, grabbed her arm to keep them apart.

“Sorry,” he said quietly, trying to keep his temper. “I think it’s been a wasted journey. I didn’t know you were booked, you can leave. Don’t worry, you‘ll still get paid.”

“Oh!” she said, face flushing red. “The agency won’t be happy if I‘m back early. They‘ll think I did something wrong…” She looked so worried that he relented.

“Fine, stay then,” Robert said, waving in the direction of the chair. He didn’t overly care. She sat, brushing her dress down as Robert perched on the edge of the bed, looking at his phone and finding Aaron’s number, debating calling him.

“If I’m not going to do anything, can I stick the TV on?” she asked after nearly ten minutes of silence.

“Yeah, whatever you like,” Robert said off hand. He really didn’t care, his plans for tonight hadn’t involved sharing his hotel room with a bored escort.

“For someone rich, talented and fit, you look bloody miserable,” Amber said, watching him. It surprised Robert and made him laugh, a genuine laugh for the first time in days.

“Going through some stuff,” Robert said. “That’s all.”

“Divorce?” she said. “Sorry. I read about it.”

“Yeah, so’ve half the country,” Robert said. “It’s not all true.”

“Why’ve you hidden yourself away in Yorkshire?” she asked as she flicked through channels on the TV.

“What?” Robert asked. Where he was living wasn’t well known. Or not outside the locals anyway “How did you know that?”

“Can’t keep anything secret with the internet,” she said with a smile. “Gossip mags too.”

“I guess not,” he said. “It’s home. It’ll always be home for me.”

“Takes all sorts,” she said with raised eyebrows.

“You wouldn’t be one to live in the countryside then?”

“No, God no!” she said. “Londoner, born and raised.”

“Oh, leave it here,” Robert said quickly, realising that Sugar Rush had come on one of the channels.

“I like this,” she said, watching the screen. "It's good."

Sod it, Robert thought. He had the company, he might as well engage in the conversation. “Want a drink?”

“I don’t drink on the job,” she said quickly.

“You’re not technically working,” Robert said. “Pick what you want from the mini bar.”

She went and got herself a coke, while Robert was distracted by a shirtless Aaron on screen. Did he spend half the show shirtless? Or did Robert just have good luck? The end credits rolled anyway, which meant his distraction was limited.

“Cheers,” Amber said, tapping Robert’s whisky glass with her own drink.

“So… if I’m not here working, we’ll have to do something else. Do you play cards?”

“I’m sorry?” Robert said completely thrown.

“Cards?” she said, getting a deck from her handbag.

“I can play poker,” Robert said, deciding to just go with it.

“Great, I’ll deal,” she said.

* * *

About two hours later, Robert had lost about fifty quid to Amber. She was a damn good player, as well as getting her fair share of luck. An alarm beeped from Amber’s phone and she sighed, switching it off and scooping up the cards.

“I’ve got to go,” she said.

“So I guessed,” Robert said. It surprised him how much he’d actually enjoyed her company. He hadn’t had a good easy night in ages. He didn’t really have any close friends so this was different. He’d laughed too, and felt all the better for it.

“I must admit when I woke up this morning, I didn’t think I’d end the day playing poker with Robert Sugden,” she said.

“I didn’t think I’d end the day this way either,” he said.

“If you’re ever in London and want to play again, call me,” she said, handing him a card. Robert smiled at her.

“I’m not going to be in London again until my O2 concerts.”

“Even so,” she said. “I had fun.”

“Yeah, so did I,” he said.

“Oh, do me a favour,” Amber said. “Whoever the girl is that’s making you miserable? Call her.”

“What? Who?” Robert spluttered.

“Oh, come off it,” she said. “I know the look of someone who’s pining. If even you can’t get the girl, there’s no hope for everyone else. Just call her. What‘ve you got to lose?”

He thought about it. “You make a very good point,” he said. “Thanks.” She smiled, and he closed the door behind her, feeling happier than he had in a while.

He called Aaron before he could talk himself out of it. Aaron didn’t answer, it went straight through to answer phone. “Hi, it’s Robert,” he said. “I’ll be back home on Saturday, so I wondered… do you want to go out Saturday night somewhere? For a drink? I heard you when you said you weren’t chasing me anymore, so… I’m asking. Call me back. Bye.” He turned his phone off, so as not to seem too needy before getting into bed. It’d been a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd love to know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of Aaron's self harm in this chapter. Nothing worse than the show though.

Aaron had booked a private hotel room, with accompanying pool to keep him away from any photographers that might be milling around. He wasn’t the most popular actor in the world, but it was still a consideration for him. And he liked to keep his scars on his arm covered from prying eyes too. He didn’t have many self harm scars, he’d managed to confine them to his arm, even when he’d felt the urge to hurt himself at the time. Now he felt grateful for that because it made his work easier, and he didn’t have “victim“ written across his body. Having the financial ability to have a private hotel suite without worrying was a wonderful perk of the job, though, he had to admit.

When he woke up, he checked his phone and saw he had a message from Robert. Aaron froze. He hadn’t expected a call from him at all. Probably not ever again. Blinking sleep from his eyes, he listened to it twice while still in bed. Robert sounded nervous, but eager. Much younger than he was, and Aaron smiled to himself. He sounded really endearing like that and Aaron couldn’t help but want him. Shame he wasn’t in the country though. He debated what to do while having a shower, then eating a room service breakfast, before leaving Robert a message. He wanted to talk to him, but Robert didn’t answer.

“Hi, it’s me,” Aaron said. “I didn’t expect you to call, being honest. Er… I’m on holiday for a couple of weeks, but when I’m back home, I’d really like that drink with you. Sorry you didn’t pick up. See you later.” Aaron decided to leave it at that. Either Robert was interested in him, or he wasn’t. If he was, then hopefully he’d wait. Either way, Aaron wasn’t about to fly back to England to find out. Not after Robert kept pulling back with him whenever it seemed like they were getting close.

* * *

 

It happened at the first signing the next day. Already smiling at the fans and in a slightly better mood than the day before, Robert’s phone buzzed. He ignored the fan in front of him to look at the screen of his phone, seeing Aaron and felt desperate to answer it, but a cleared throat behind him, and knowing he was working meant he couldn’t. It was with regret that he tucked his phone back in his pocket, still ringing.

The second the signing was over, Robert listened to the message, smiling at hearing Aaron’s voice. He’d worry about himself later, the labels he gave himself, sorting out his head, that would come after. Right now all he knew was that Aaron had called him, and he liked how it felt. He liked hearing Aaron’s voice, knowing Aaron was thinking of him. He’d worry about the logic of it later. 

Instead of calling Aaron, he called his PA. “What can I do for you?”

“Hi, I need you to track down Aaron Livesy,” Robert said. “I know he’s abroad, but I… I’m looking for a hotel.”

“Which country?”

“Er…” Robert tailed off.

“You don’t know?”

“No,” Robert said.

“You do know this is a little outside my job description?” she said. “I’m your personal assistant, I’m not here to spy on people for you.”

“Yeah, I know,” Robert said. “Do you mind?”

“Give me a few hours,” she said and Robert smiled.

“Thanks.”

By the end of the day, Robert had a resort, and a hotel room number. Aaron was using his own name which made it easier to track apparently. His PA had hesitated slightly before giving him that information, but then Julie had been his PA for years. He’d never asked for anything too crazy before, so he thanked her before hanging up, and organising a flight for the weekend. Apparently Aaron was booked in for two weeks, and Saturday was the first day Robert had free. Maybe it was impulsive, actually it definitely was, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted to see Aaron.

* * *

Slightly annoyed that he hadn’t heard from Robert again, Aaron spent most nights clubbing. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to take a bloke back to his hotel most nights, but he didn’t. He didn’t want to, he just wanted Robert, and Robert wasn't here and wasn't offering. He tried to lose himself in a stranger most nights, but his heart wasn’t in it. As soon as it started to go beyond someone buying him a drink, Aaron wriggled out of it as soon as he could. He always went to bed alone.

* * *

“All right, I’m coming.” Aaron groaned, pulling a hotel dressing gown around him. It was far too early for hotel room service to be waking him up, it was barely midday. After rolling in at three in the morning drunk, and now with a hangover about to pull him under.

Nothing could have prepared him for opening the door and seeing Robert Sugden there, and he froze for a moment, just staring at him and trying to wake up rapidly.

“Hi,” Robert said. “Can I come in?” he asked after a few moments of silence.

“Er… yeah,” Aaron said. “The rooms a mess, but yeah. Why are you here?”

“I wanted to buy you a drink,” Robert said, speaking casually like it was obvious.

“I assumed you meant in England,” Aaron said. “Look, I’ve just woken up, let me have a shower and try and get my brain working. Order some breakfast or room service or something.”

“Breakfast? Don’t you mean lunch?” Robert asked.

“Order whatever you want,” Aaron said, grabbing some clean clothes and desperate to escape to the bathroom. He didn’t want Robert to see him like this, the worse for wear, bedraggled, unshowered and just getting out of bed. Or at least, he didn’t want Robert to see him like this before they’d slept together at any rate.

By the time Aaron was dressed, hair still damp, Robert was outside starting on lunch or breakfast which had been delivered by room service.

“Got you a coffee,” Robert said, pushing it towards him. 

“Thanks,” Aaron said, sitting opposite him. He took a sip before looking at Robert. “What are you doing here, Robert?”

“I never really could control my impulsive behaviour,” Robert said teasingly making Aaron roll his eyes. “I wanted to see you.”

“Bit risky, isn’t it?” Aaron said. “Catching a flight to come and see me?”

“I’ve been working all week,” Robert said. “I’ve got one security guy who knows where I am and he’s keeping an eye on me.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Aaron said. “What if a journalist…”

“I don’t want to think about that right now,” Robert said. “I spend too long considering them, and I wanted to see you.” Robert cleared his throat. “Though maybe… you just don’t want me here and I’ve really made an idiot of myself.”

“No,” Aaron said quickly. “I like that you‘re here. You didn’t have to fly across the continent to prove your point.”

“Well… I thought… I’ve been giving you the run around for a bit,” Robert said, shrugging his shoulders like his shirt was too tight, and he looked at his plate so he wouldn’t have to look at Aaron.

“You’re not sure though,” Aaron said. “Are you?”

“No,” Robert said, being honest. “Eat something.” Aaron wasn’t about to pick an argument, not with Robert sitting in front of him, shirt sleeves rolled up and looking like he’d just walked out of a magazine. He’d look at him and watch him while he could, because Aaron wasn’t naïve enough to think this would last forever.

After they’d eaten, Robert stretched out, legs long underneath the table, arms above his head and Aaron just watched his body move, Robert stifling a huge yawn.

“Tired?” Aaron asked.

“I don’t sleep on flights,” Robert said. “Not really slept all week. I’m fine.”

“Where are you staying? Or did you just get here first and not even think about that?”

“Why?”

“Wondering how flattered I should be, that‘s all.” Aaron said.

“On the second floor.”

“Of this hotel?” Robert nodded. “Now I _know_ I should feel flattered,” Aaron said with a grin. Robert went red and Aaron full out laughed. “Get some sleep. I’ll take you out for a drink later.”

“I said I’d buy you one.”

“You flew here,” Aaron said. “Least I can do is buy you a beer.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Robert said after a moment, before yawning again. “Thanks.” Robert got up, grabbing his jacket but he paused, letting his finger trace across Aaron’s hand which had been resting on the table. Robert's fingertip glided gently across his knuckles and Aaron didn’t move a muscle, letting Robert touch him.

Far too soon for his liking, the moment was over and Robert cleared his throat. “See you tonight.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was asked for it, the second half of this chapter is a bit explicit! ;) Enjoy!

Robert smoothed down his shirt, knowing he looked good. Dark blue, unbuttoned at the throat. Black jacket, jeans, yeah he looked passable. He knew he was dressing up for Aaron, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care about that. Not right now. He went to the lift and got to Aaron’s floor before knocking on his hotel door.

“Hi,” Aaron said, grabbing his hoodie and shoving his wallet into his jean pocket. “Who’s he?”

“John,” Robert said. “My security guy.”

“Mm.”

“He won’t get in the way,” Robert promised.

“You need a security guard, do you?” Aaron asked.

“Sadly yeah,” Robert said. “It’s just one.”

“Robert’s well known,” this John said. “I’m just around in case anyone undesirable tries to target him. I’m not here to ruin your evening.”

“Mm,” Aaron said unhappily. “Fine.”

“Don’t be like that,” Robert said. “I’m here aren’t’ I?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said heading towards the lift. “You are.”

* * *

Aaron got the first round in, and he felt Roberts eyes on him at the bar and he smiled to himself. Tonight could be interesting, or at least God he hoped so. Things with Robert had been simmering for a while, and he’d flown across Europe to be with him tonight. That must mean something. Really bluntly, it’d been a while since Aaron had been with someone, and he was craving it. Craving Robert. He wouldn’t push, he’d never put that on Robert or anyone else, but he couldn’t help but hope and wonder where this was leading. Shallowly, he was gorgeous too. There was that.

“You look like you’re thinking,” Robert said when Aaron brought their drinks over.

“I was,” Aaron said. “So… John?”

“I know it’s not ideal,” Robert said. “Management wanted him with me, and I didn’t really complain.” John wasn’t getting in the way, in fact right now Aaron couldn’t even see him, but he didn’t like the feeling that he was being watched regardless of circumstance.

“Do you get on with Vic?”

“Sort of,” Robert said, taking a sip of his drink. “No, I do, it’s just we don’t really hang out much. We’ve got really different lives, and when I was a teenager, she was really young, so… She always sided with Andy anyway, even after the fire.”

“Fire?”

“Oh,” Robert said heavily. “Andy, my adoptive brother… he er…”

“Sorry,” Aaron said, seeing that it was clearly difficult for him. “I can change the subject.”

“It’s all right,” Robert said. “Andy set light to one of the barns up at dads farm. For insurance money because we were struggling. He didn’t know my mum was inside.”

“Oh, God, I’m sorry,” Aaron said instantly.

“I know he didn’t mean to hurt her, but…” Robert shook his head. "Vic siding with him after that… it hurt.”

“Is your mum…”

“She’s scarred,” Robert said. “But she’s okay, I’ve bought her a place in London and she’s happy enough. But it does create… friction within the family.”

“Does Andy see your mum?”

“No,” Robert said. “Too much has happened and he feels guilty when he looks at her. As he should.” He cleared his throat, not intending on talking about his family history.

“Sorry,” Aaron said. “Too heavy?”

“A bit,” Robert said. “I don’t mind talking about it, it’s well known in the press so I don’t hide it, but… yeah it is tough sometimes. How about you, your family?”

Aaron knew he was changing the subject and he let him. “Er… I get on with my mum. Now, I was a bit of a handful as a teenager. I’ve got a half sister, quite a bit younger than me. She stays with me sometimes when she’s off school.”

“How old is she?”

“Fifteen,” Aaron said. “Liv.”

“You sound fond of her,” Robert noticed, hearing Aaron’s voice warm over her name.

“Oh, she drives me mad,” Aaron said. “But she’s my baby sister, you know?”

“Yeah,” Robert said with a smile. “I do know. Same mother or father?”

“Father,” Aaron said. “Who I’m not talking about tonight.” Aaron’s voice wasn’t harsh, but Robert could tell enough not to push that one.

“When does your tour start?” Aaron asked.

“A few weeks,” Robert said. “When do you start filming again?”

“A few weeks,” Aaron said with a smile. “I’m going to see you on tour actually.”

“You are?” Robert said, eyes widening.

“Yeah,” he said. “Manchester with my mum. I bought the tickets before I knew you.”

“That could be… interesting,” Robert said, hiding his smile in his drink.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“With your mother though…” Robert said, rolling his eyes.

“She’s not that bad,” Aaron said. “Anyway, you’re not exactly going to be passing conversation with her while you’re on stage.”

“True,” Robert said. “Which of my songs do you like?”

Aaron snorted and rolled his eyes. “You’re not all that,” he said, then answered the question. “I don’t know because it’s your face and your body I’m after, not your voice.”

Robert grinned, he couldn’t help it and Aaron smiled too.

The moment was well and truly broken when a group of four or five women, all smiley and chatty approached them, wanting autographs and pictures of Robert. Aaron let them. He knew Robert was far more famous than him, and he slinked away, letting Robert and John now keeping a closer eye on him.

* * *

It took a while for Robert to shake the women, but by the time he did, he looked for Aaron and went cold, seeing him being chatted up in the corner. The music was too loud for him to even have a prayer of overhearing, but Robert watched, the jealousy overwhelming him as some fit young European was clearly trying to get Aaron to dance with him. Aaron wouldn’t, he could see that, shaking his head. The man nodded to the bar and Aaron agreed, letting him get a drink for him. It wasn’t just that Robert felt jealous of another man clearly interested in Aaron. He felt jealous of how free he was, how confident in himself, in his sexuality he was. How it clearly didn’t bother Aaron in the slightest. God, to be so confident like that…

Then the stranger came back with Aaron’s drink and kissed his cheek, and Robert had had enough, the sharp pain of jealousy flaring in his chest.

“No, move on, find someone else,” Robert said to the stranger. The man looked between Aaron and Robert, both of whom were staring at each other and he rolled his eyes before leaving, clearly sensing he was getting in the way.

“Problem?” Aaron said.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Letting an attractive stranger buy me a drink,” Aaron said. “Why? Jealous?”

“Yes,” Robert said so quickly that it surprised Aaron. “I don’t want anyone touching you, I don’t care how good looking they are.”

Aaron jerked his head, not wanting this conversation in the middle of a club and Robert followed close behind as he went through to the gents toilets.

“Robert, what are you doing to me?” Aaron said. “Do you just want to…” Aaron didn’t finish his sentence. Robert moved towards him and kissed him. It was so brief Aaron wondered if he’d imagined it. Just a quick indent of lips. Robert was breathing heavily, looking at Aaron’s mouth and Aaron looked him in the eye, waiting for permission. He wouldn’t close the gap between them, not until Robert told him it was okay. Robert’s eyes fluttered closed and he nodded yes, and that was all Aaron needed. He closed the gap and kissed Robert gently, lips caressing, taking it slow just in case Robert freaked out. When they parted, Robert was looking at his mouth and smiling. Flicking his eyes to Aaron’s, checking, Robert grinned before kissing him again, this time more confidently, a hand almost cradling Aaron’s head, fingers threading through Aaron‘s hair.

Aaron pressed his tongue against Roberts closed lips, and Robert opened them with the quietest moan of approval. Aaron pushed Robert back into the wall and Robert let himself go, focusing entirely on their kiss. Moving his hands slowly down Robert’s body, Aaron curved his palms around his arse, pulling them flush against each other and Robert groaned, rolling his body closer.

“We can’t do this here,” Aaron said.

“I know.” Robert kissed Aaron’s cheek once and then left, Aaron following through the crowd in the club, and back to the hotel. Robert knew what was going to happen and he stopped over thinking it. Neither of them spoke or touched until they were in the lift, Aaron’s fingers reaching out for Robert’s hand. He let him, tangling their fingers, the small patch of skin touching. Robert couldn’t bear the tension any more and he pulled his hand back, before forcefully pushing Aaron against the wall of the lift, kissing him deeply, Aaron moaning into it until the lift pinged open. Luckily there was no one there, and Aaron led the way to his room. As they walked their fingers brushed against each other, such a simple touch but God…

“Are you sure?” Aaron asked as he unlocked his door.

“No,” Robert said, pushing Aaron through the door anyway. Robert kissed him, needing to touch him in a way he’d never be able to explain. He reached for the zip on Aaron’s hoodie and Aaron pulled back, breathing heavily across Robert’s lips. Robert pulled the tab down slowly, the parting zipper sounding loud in the room. Robert slid his hands inside, feeling Aaron’s waist covered only by a thin T shirt. Shifting, Aaron pulled the hoodie off and Robert realised this was going to happen, and he didn’t want to stop. Aaron’s hands scrabbled against Robert’s leather jacket and within moments it was on the floor. Kissing again, breath stealingly good kisses, Aaron unbuttoned Robert’s shirt, hand stroking his skin. He stopped kissing Robert for a moment to check in with him and Robert nodded before Aaron started kissing down his chest.

“You’re freckled everywhere,” Aaron said lowly, murmuring against his skin.

“Yeah,” Robert breathed, then moaned as Aaron sucked his nipple, his hand tugging at Aaron’s hair, urging him on. “Oh, God…”

Aaron continued kissing down Robert’s body until Robert tensed under his mouth. “What?”

“Bit ticklish,” Robert muttered. Aaron grinned.

“Good to know,” he said, hands on Robert’s waist, debating if he should tease him or not. Deciding on not, he stood back up, kissing Robert again, Robert’s fingers pushing at the hem of Aaron’s T shirt.

“Come on,” Robert said. “Off.” They both tugged until it was removed, Robert pushing Aaron onto the bed and straddling him before kissing him again.

“Have you ever been with a guy…”

“No,” Robert said, not surprising Aaron in the slightest. “I want you, though.” Aaron stroked a hand through Robert’s hair as he kissed him again, Robert’s hips rolling against Aaron’s body. Aaron flipped them over quickly, making Robert “oof!” in surprise, smiling as Aaron’s fingers went to his belt. Lifting his body to help get his jeans off, Aaron fumbled quickly, wanting Robert naked and not wanting this to end if and when Robert thought about what was happening. He fondled Robert through his underwear, making him moan and throw his head back onto the pillows, writhing into Aaron’s touch.

“God, I want you,” Aaron said, looking up at Robert’s face. He smiled at Aaron, tangling his fingers in Aaron’s hair, pulling him close and Aaron kissed his stomach, Robert tensing again. “You really are ticklish, aren't you?”

“A bit,” Robert said. “Hurry up…” Aaron smiled against Robert’s skin, taking his underwear down and quickly took Robert in his mouth. Robert whined, a noise Aaron wanted to hear forever, inhibitions falling away.

“Oh, God your mouth…” Robert whispered arching closer as Aaron hollowed his cheeks, sucking down on Robert. “Wait… wait…”

“What?” Aaron breathed, his wet lips shining in the light and making Robert groan.

“I’ll come way too quickly if you carry on, and I don’t want… I want this to last.” Aaron grinned, getting up and taking his own jeans and underwear off, getting a condom and lube from the bathroom before coming back to Robert.

His eyes scanned over Aaron completely naked for the first time, taking in his body. Pictures and the TV show did not do him justice at all, he looked so much better in reality and Robert did want him.

“Okay?” Aaron asked and Robert nodded, Aaron laying on top of him and their bodies touching everywhere into another kiss. Robert could taste himself on Aaron’s mouth and he shuddered. “I want to fuck you.”

“Yes,” Robert said, answering whatever question Aaron was asking. He just didn’t want Aaron to stop touching him, not ever. Robert wrapped his legs around Aaron’s waist, rocking into him, stroking a hand down Aaron‘s back, to his arse and squeezing.

“Oh…” Aaron moaned.

Parting for just a moment, Aaron grabbed the lube and Robert nodded once as he slicked his fingers up. “Hold your legs back.” Robert did, swallowing against a sudden bout of nerves as Aaron pushed a finger inside him. Robert tried to relax, closing his eyes as Aaron’s finger found his prostate, jerking at the sensation. 

“Oh!” he moaned as Aaron pushed another finger past his rim. Aaron for his part was trying to etch it into his memory, the image of Robert riding his fingers, because he wanted to remember this. He looked so good like this and he added a third finger, trying to stretch him slowly. Robert’s hips rose off the bed for a moment, groaning loudly.

Picking up the condom from the bed, Robert ripped open the packet and looked at Aaron pointedly. “I’m ready, come on.” Giving him a final stretch, Aaron pulled his fingers free and tried not to whimper too loudly as Robert stroked him and put the condom on.

Aaron kissed him again, slow and deep leaving Robert panting as he pushed in slowly, trying to ease Robert into it. Robert groaned as he tried to get used to Aaron, who’d bottomed out and was trying to stay still, arms shaking with the effort not to move.

“You good?” Aaron asked, voice strained after a few moments.

“Very,” Robert said, moaning as Aaron thrust into him. Robert clawed at Aaron’s back, anywhere he could reach as Aaron shifted their hips and hit his prostate. “God!”

Aaron knew exactly how to play his body and it was all Robert could do to keep breathing, completely lost to his talented lover. Every movement, every thrust wound him higher and higher, and his crying out was getting loud, too loud. He knew that, and yet Robert couldn't find it within him to care, he just wanted this to last forever. Robert kissed him deeply, feeling really close and writhing to try and get a release, get something, anything to touch his dick.

“I’ve got you,” Aaron said, wrapping a hand around him and stroking him off, making Robert tighten and cry out with his climax, body riding out the orgasm. Aaron followed a few seconds behind him, groaning into Robert's neck as it washed over him, breathing in deeply.

Aaron lost his balance and collapsed on top of Robert completely. Robert liked the feeling of being squashed by Aaron, of being surrounded by him everywhere, even if it was getting a little uncomfortable to have Aaron still inside him. He stroked Aaron’s hair for a few moments before Aaron came around and pulled out of him with a whimper from them both.

“You all right?” Aaron asked.

“Mm,” Robert said. He kissed Aaron's jaw before closing his eyes and slipping into sleep, Aaron stroking his hair the last thing he knew.


	12. Chapter 12

Aaron woke up to find Robert rushing around the bedroom, clearly looking for his clothes. “What…?” Aaron started, desperately trying to wake himself up and rubbing his eyes. “Robert, calm down, it’s all right,” Aaron said gruffly.

“I can’t find my shoes,” Robert said, yanking his jacket on quickly and not looking at Aaron.

“Are you going to look at me?” Aaron said, sitting up. “Or am I just someone you use when you’re desperate?”

“I’m sorry,” Robert said, speaking to the carpet. “I didn’t mean to… last night, I just got carried away and I shouldn’t have.”

“You managed to fly across Europe just to get “carried away,”” Aaron said. “You wanted…”

“Yeah, I did,” Robert said, finally looking at him. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s it?” Aaron said blankly. “We have sex and you panic and leave?”

“I’m sorry,” Robert said. “It was a mistake.” Having found his shoes, Robert left the door snapping closed behind him, leaving Aaron feeling used and cheap. He knew he was Robert’s first, and he knew that that wasn’t always an easy thing to accept, but God… Aaron was so angry and offended, punching his pillow with frustration.

* * *

The panic Robert woke up with couldn’t be underestimated. Aaron’s hand had been around his waist, Aaron nuzzling into the back of his neck in sleep and Robert just felt the need to “run” going through every nerve ending in his body. He got up and dressed, not bothering about anything else until he had all his clothes, made his excuses to Aaron before going to his hotel room to have a very long shower. God, had he really just done that? Jumped Aaron and got into bed with him? What the hell was wrong with him? Who thought that was a good idea?

Yeah, sure, he’d been flirting with him for a while, and he knew something had been bubbling away under the surface. He wasn’t naïve, he knew Aaron wanted him. But that had ramped up from flirting conversation and a few touches here and there to a hundred miles an hour. He hadn’t planned to have sex with Aaron. He’d sort of tentatively wanted to kiss him, but he’d not got over whatever mental block he had about anything more. It had just happened, and he’d let it, because… well, in that moment, he’d wanted Aaron, and he didn’t want his inhibitions to get in the way. 

Before having a shower, he called to arrange a flight home. He knew in the distant part of his mind that he was running away, but he didn’t want to focus on that. It is what it is.

* * *

On the flight back to England, Robert couldn’t stop thinking of last night with Aaron. He didn’t want to dwell on it, but he couldn’t stop. Aaron had felt… well, amazing. He hadn’t expected it to be so intimate, for him to lose himself in Aaron so completely. Robert bit his bottom lip, thinking, then realised that was what Aaron usually did and he sighed. God, he was in trouble.

* * *

Sarah opened her front door to see Robert there, looking very riled up, eyes darting everywhere.

“What’s wrong?” she asked instantly.

“Why would anything be wrong?”

“Because you look like a caged tiger,” she said, letting him in.

“I er… want to talk to you.”

“Okay, first things first,” she said. “Do you need a lawyer, are the police after you for something?”

“No,” Robert said, shaking his head. “Nothing like that.”

“Right, drugs?”

“Mum!” Robert snapped.

“Just checking,” she said. “So… is the press going to print something about you or…?” 

“No,” Robert said. ”Or nothing beyond the norm for me anyway.”

“Right, so it’s not the police or journalists, so... what is it?”

“Can I have a cup of tea?” Sarah just looked at him completely blinkered but went and made him one anyway, while Robert geared himself up for whatever it was he wanted to say.

When she came back to the living room, Robert bent his head, elbows resting on his knees and Sarah started to really worry. She’d never seen him in this state before. “You’re scaring me now,” she said, putting a hand on his hunched shoulders.

“I er… slept with someone last night.”

“Which normally doesn’t bring you running scared to my door,” she said. Robert stayed silent. “Were you… did you want to…?” she started quietly.

“Yes,” Robert said quickly, seeing where she was going. “Yes, of course. It wasn’t like that.” He still looked down, and he couldn’t look at her.

“Okay,” Sarah said.

“I slept with a man.”

“Okay.” The barest hesitation from her, and Robert felt the shame creeping up his spine, face hot. How could he have let this happen?

“I love you,” Sarah said. He looked up, feeling like a little kid again and Sarah gave him a hug. He hadn’t known how much he’d needed that from his mum.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, my heads a complete mess,” Robert said.

“Robert, if…”

“I’m not gay,” Robert said instantly. “I can’t be. I’m not…” He rubbed his face in agitation. “I wasn’t faking it with Chrissie. I did love her, and…”

“I know,” Sarah said. “You’re not the kind of person to not go after what you want.”

“Is that a good thing?” Robert said.

“It gave you a good career,” Sarah said fairly. “What do you want to talk to me about?”

“I don’t know,” Robert said. “I just can’t think clearly.”

“Do you like him?” Sarah asked quietly.

“Yeah, I think I do,” Robert said after a moment. “He’s…”

“Nice?”

“No,” Robert said with a laugh. “Moody, sarcastic, short tempered…”

“Sounds like a catch,” Sarah said with raised eyebrows. “I know you don’t want to think about this, but is there any chance he’ll go to the press and…”

“No,” Robert said. “He won’t. Not the type.”

“Are you sure about that?” Sarah asked. “I just worry. If the press start discussing you like this before you’ve even figured yourself out… it’ll hurt you.”

“He won’t,” Robert said. “He er… wouldn’t want the attention either.”

“Okay,” Sarah said, letting it drop. “How are you?”

“I can’t stop thinking about him, then I feel stupid for not stopping thinking about him, and then I start questioning everything about myself and if I’ve really been faking it with women all these years, then I feel like an idiot, because obviously not, and I was in love with Chrissie, but then I’ve never wanted a man before either, which then leaves Aaron and I don’t know what to do with how I’m feeling!” Robert spoke in one quick breath, feelings almost pouring from him.

“Aaron then, is it?” she said.

Robert sighed, feeling small and deflated. “Yeah.”

“It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, or straight, or bisexual or if you don‘t want a label at all,” Sarah said. “You’re my boy, and I love you.”

“Thanks,” Robert said in a quiet voice, feeling slightly better about the whole thing. That's why he'd come here, he needed reassurance from someone, and he couldn't think of anyone else but his mum.

* * *

His heart wasn’t really in his holiday any more, so Aaron got an earlier flight home. He’d come here to try and have a bit of fun, relax, and while Robert had certainly been fun at the time, the morning after had soured it. It took two days for Aaron to get home, he hadn’t been in a rush to find a flight anyway, thinking that maybe Robert would come back, but no. His phone had been silent and Aaron had been checking more than he’d ever admit to.

Once he was back in the Mill, he felt empty. He wanted something with Robert, he yearned for him, but as well as being in the closet, he was a star. He was completely and utterly unobtainable. Which would be fine apart from the fact that night was on a loop in his head, and Aaron just wanted more.

After five days, Aaron sent him a text, then called himself stupid for doing it. Simple, just “you okay?” Robert did reply, but it took another three days, and Aaron had just about had enough.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Aaron shook his head at the clinical response and vowed not to text him again. If Robert wanted to play hard to get, fine. He might be gorgeous, rich, successful, and a good lay, but Aaron had some self respect.

* * *

 

_**One week later** _

“You’ve not called me.” Aaron rolled his eyes but let Leyla into his house anyway.

“Didn’t know I had to,” Aaron grumbled, sitting on his sofa and kicking his feet up.

“Can I…”

“Knock yourself out,” Aaron said, seeing Leyla in his kitchen, pointing at the kettle.

“God, you’re even more moody than usual,” Leyla said at his silent grumpiness. “Thought you’d be happy, the first scripts for the next series have been delivered.”

“Yeah, I know,” Aaron said. The envelope was sitting on the kitchen counter, unopened.

“Oh, I know that look,” Leyla said. “It’s got to be man trouble.” Aaron didn’t deny it, Leyla sitting next to him with her mug of tea. “What’s his name?”

“I can’t,” Aaron said simply. “He’s not out.”

“What’s the problem?” Leyla asked. “Are you giving him an attitude like this?”

“No,” Aaron said. “I er…”

“You don’t have to tell me,” Leyla said fairly.

“Not much to tell,” Aaron said. “Met a guy in Spain, slept with him, now he’s not talking to me or texting me,” he said, keeping details vague on purpose.

“Bad in bed?”

“No,” Aaron said quickly. “Really good.”

“All right, I’ll get jealous,” Leyla teased, making Aaron smile.

“I think he panicked in the morning,” Aaron said. “I understand that, but… he’s not text me at all, and…”

“You really like him.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I do. It’s been a while since I felt like this. But if he doesn’t want to… I’ll just have to get over it.”

“That’s why you’ve not read your script?”

“I just couldn’t focus on work,” Aaron said with a shrug.

“You’ve got it bad,” she said.

“Mm,” Aaron said, non committal. “I miss him.”

“He’ll come around,” Leyla said. “Or he won’t, and you’ll find someone else.”

“Very comforting,” Aaron said.

“I try,” she said with a smile making Aaron roll his eyes.

"Thanks."


	13. Chapter 13

Robert had spent two nights in his mothers spare room, rather than going home. They’d talked stuff through some more, every now and then, but nothing too heavy. Robert’s mind still was a mess though. He’d calmed down somewhat, and wasn’t still panicking about having sex with Aaron, but he was far from comfortable.

“I’d like to meet him one day,” Sarah said.

“Who?”

“This Aaron,” she said.

“No,” Robert said shortly.

“Oh, come on,” Sarah said. “I like to think I’m not bigoted. What do you think I’m going to do?”

“It’s not that,” Robert said. “It’s not serious with him, it’s casual. It probably won’t last the month, and me introducing my mother isn’t going to help.”

Sarah was silent, thinking things through. “I’ve never seen you like this before. Or not since you went after your brothers girlfriend…”

“Mum…” Robert said quietly.

“Just saying,” she said.

“He’s probably not talking to me anyway,” Robert said. “I… behaved badly. I just left him in the morning and I’ve not texted him or anything.”

“But you can’t stop thinking about him?”

“No,” Robert agreed. “I can’t.”

“Then call him,” Sarah said.

“Maybe,” he said, though in a tone of voice that didn’t sound like he was going to do it. Sarah rolled her eyes, but left Robert to it.

* * *

He’d done a lot of soul searching over the last couple of weeks since he’d been with Aaron. Robert really liked him, and however he looked at it, that was always true. He couldn’t imagine a time, particularly in the near future, when he wouldn’t. So he had to at least see him. Given his recent behaviour of walking out on Aaron after sex, then ignoring him for two weeks, Robert didn’t call. Instead he decided to go over, and talk to Aaron in person, assuming he was back at home. 

Robert parked behind Aaron’s car, both relieved and nervous that Aaron was home and knocked on the door.

* * *

 

Aaron flicked the TV off, answering the door and seeing Robert there, looking sheepish and not nearly as confident as his public persona would have him.

“No,” Aaron said tiredly, turning away from the open door and letting Robert come into his house anyway. “You can’t keep doing this to me. You can’t come around to see me whenever you’re bored or lonely or horny. I’m not your crutch whenever nothing else works.”

“I know,” Robert said. “I’m so sorry about how I treated you.”

“Yeah?” Aaron said, doubting it. He wasn’t in the mood to be charitable. “Or do you just want to keep me sweet so we can have a good fuck?”

“No,” Robert said. “I panicked, all right? I woke up next to you and I just panicked. I’d never slept with a man before. I’d never even wanted to or thought about it.”

“I know,” Aaron said, his voice less harsh. “It still wasn’t nice. Having you make your escape like I’m some dirty little secret that you have to forget about as soon as humanly possible.”

“I know,” Robert said. “I want to be with you,” he added quietly.

Aaron sighed. He‘d wanted to hear that, but it felt a bit tainted now. “How do I know you’re not going to run off at the first chance you get?”

“I guess you don’t,” Robert said. “And I’m not here for sex, Aaron. I wouldn’t complain, last time was amazing, but…” Aaron smirked at him, he couldn’t help it. “I just want to be with you. I’d be happy enough just watching crap telly or something.”

“Robert…”

“What did you do the first time you slept with a guy?”

“I punched him on the jaw,” Aaron said. “I know panic, okay? I understand that. But…”

“I’m sorry.”

“I can’t go through it again,” Aaron said. “I’m okay with you having a freak out every now and then, but it’s been weeks and you didn’t so much as text me. What was I meant to think?”

“That I’m struggling,” Robert said. He reached out for Aaron’s hand and squeezed him tight. “Give me a second chance.”

“No,” Aaron said. “Because what, you’ll sleep with me then run at the next opportunity?”

“I won’t run,” Robert said. “I promise. I‘m done running.”

Aaron breathed in deeply, wondering if he could believe him or not. “You can stay, but we’re not having sex.”

“Great,” Robert said, clearly relieved and Aaron smiled tightly at him. 

“There’s beers in the fridge,” Aaron grumbled. Robert nodded and took the olive branch.

* * *

Aaron picked Top gear reruns to watch on the telly and Robert didn’t feel it was worth arguing with him. “How was Ibiza?”

“Crap,” Aaron said. “I slept with some loser who left before daylight.”

“Yeah, I um…”

“I’m teasing,” Aaron said lightly, tapping his thigh gently. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I do worry,” Robert said. “I feel terrible about that.”

“How about I go to the pub and pick up a couple of burgers from Marlon?” Aaron suggested. “I don’t cook.”

“I like that idea,” Robert said. “Thanks.”

By the time Aaron got back, Robert had kicked his shoes off and was stretched out on the sofa, flicking around TV channels. “Making yourself at home?”

“You don’t mind?”

“No,” Aaron said, not so much smiling, but his eyes were bright, like he was trying not to grin which relaxed Robert. He switched the TV off and got up to the kitchen table, grabbing them two more beers while Aaron got their burgers on plates. “Go on then,” Aaron said once they‘d eaten half their meals, the hunger at bay. “Who talked you down?”

“What?”

“Who talked you away from your complete and utter panic about sleeping with me?” Aaron said. “I know someone did.”

Robert felt a slight prickle of unease about how well Aaron knew him so quickly, or how easy he apparently was to read. “My mum.”

“Oh?”

“She was the only person I could think of that I trusted,” Robert said. “She’s not my biological mum, you know. She died in a car crash when I was a few months old.” He had no idea why he’d said that to Aaron.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron said softly.

“It’s all right,” Robert said. “I don’t remember her. Sarah, she’s my mum in all ways that matter. But yeah, you’re right, I went to her and had a meltdown.”

“Must have talked some sense into you,” Aaron said.

“Mm,” Robert said. Then he said something that had been on his mind for days “I’m not gay,” he added. “If you’re waiting for me to come to terms with being gay, that’s never going to happen because I’m not. It’s not that I’m ashamed, that’s not it. I like women, genuinely. I didn’t marry Chrissie because I was in denial and it’s not why our marriage broke up either.” Robert took a deep breath, like he was bracing himself. “I think… maybe bisexual would be the word that fits me best, but… I’m not ready to label myself yet, I don’t want to, but I wanted you to know that I’m not gay.”

“That’s fair,” Aaron said after a few moments of silence while he took in Robert's words. “One thing, though. I don’t care if you’ll cheat on me with a man or a woman, I’m not going to take cheating, Robert. I don’t do that, and it’s not going to happen in our relationship.”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I get that, and I know you’d be worried because of my history. But… we have a relationship?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said with a smile. “I want to give it a try.”

“So do I,” Robert said. “It’s not going to be easy with our crazy jobs, but…”

“I know it’s not,” Aaron said. “I’m not saying forever, but right now… lets see how it goes?”

“Yeah,” Robert agreed, beaming at him. Aaron smiled in return. "That sounds... perfect."

* * *

When Aaron woke up, the bed next to him was empty, and he felt the sheet. Cold. Robert wasn’t here. He heard footsteps and rolled over, face into the pillow. He didn’t want to watch Robert leave him again, it hurt too much. He thought they’d made progress last night, but no. Nothing had changed.

“I’ve got to go,” Robert said regretfully, looking at Aaron in bed.

“Fine,” Aaron said into the pillow. What he hadn’t expected was large hands on his hips, flipping him over to his back, then Robert straddling his waist, fully dressed while Aaron was naked.

“No, I _have_ to go,” Robert said. “I don’t want to, I want to stay here with you and kiss you awake.”

“Yeah?” Aaron asked quietly, Robert smiling before leaning down to kiss him deeply, grabbing his wrists and pinning them above Aaron's head. That certainly reassured Aaron and his eyes were bright when Robert pulled back, still straddling Aaron’s hips. Even through the duvet, Aaron could see the intention very clearly.

“My lawyers need my signature,” Robert said. “A copyright issue or something,” he added with a shrug. “I don’t know. But I thought… later tonight, I could… cook for us?”

Aaron could hear the timid note in his voice, and wouldn’t make fun of him because of that. Robert was trying, and that meant a lot to him.

“A dinner date?” Aaron said.

“Yeah. If you want.”

“Mine or yours?” Aaron said.

“Mine?” Robert suggested. “The place actually is furnished now.”

“What, no more flat pack?”

“The stuff you made up is still there,” Robert said, voice soft.

“Can you cook?” Aaron asked. “Or do I have to pretend it’s edible?”

Robert smiled. “Turn up tonight and find out.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Robert smiled and kissed Aaron’s jaw, then lips, before getting off the bed, checking his phone was in his pocket, then smiled once more before leaving. Aaron couldn’t help but feel so much happier than he had the last time he’d woken up with Robert. He was looking forward to tonight. Somehow, Aaron had managed to get a date with arguably the most sought after single man in the country. He couldn’t help but grin to himself.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's mentions of Aaron's self harm in this chapter, and I've changed canon a bit to suit my own needs, so I know it's not exactly how it happened on screen. I've more changed the timeline, rather than anything Aaron went through, although the suicide attempt in the garage did not happen in this AU. That said, enjoy!

  
Robert text Aaron, to double check that they were still on for tonight. After going hot and cold, Robert wanted Aaron to know he was in this. It didn’t take long for Aaron to reply. _“Can’t wait. What do you want me to wear tonight?”_ Robert smiled at the flirtation, happily.

 _“Something not black. I‘ve seen you in black so often x,”_ Robert replied. As much as Robert would have liked to have lose himself in a long sexting session, he needed time to concentrate on making his homemade pasta. He wanted to impress Aaron after all.

* * *

Feeling nervous, far more than he should, Aaron knocked on Robert‘s door. It was stupid, feeling like this when he’d woken up with Robert this morning. They hadn’t had sex. Aaron had been tempted, especially when they ended up in bed, kisses leading to foreplay, but he’d wanted to keep a little bit of himself, just in case Robert had decided to cut and run again. Aaron cut off his internal rambling as Robert opened the door, smiling at him.

“Purple, I like it,” Robert said, noticing Aaron’s hoodie as he let him in to the house. Aaron grinned, following Robert through to the kitchen. “What do you want to drink? Beer, wine?”

Aaron saw an open bottle of red, Robert’s glass half empty already and nodded at it. “I’ll have a glass of that,” he said. “I’m guessing I’m not driving home tonight.”

“That’s forward of you,” Robert said, smiling at him.

“Well, you climbing on top of me this morning gave me the idea.” Robert grinned, pouring him some wine. “What are we having tonight?”

“Pasta,” Robert said.

“Pasta?” Aaron asked, surprised. “Even I can stick pasta in boiling water.”

“Homemade pasta,” Robert corrected him. “Been slaving away over it all afternoon.”

“Yeah, right,” Aaron said, but when he looked, he saw the pasta machine on the kitchen counter, a lot of dishes in the sink and there was still a white smudge of flour on Robert’s blue shirt collar. He itched to brush it away, but resisted. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Good sauce for it too.”

“You think a lot of yourself,” Aaron said.

“No, I don’t,” Robert said quietly. “But I do know I can cook.”

“Come on,” Aaron said. “Is there anything you can’t do?”

“I don’t know. I think a flaw is that I leave men disgracefully early in bed and then don’t pick up my phone for a few weeks,” Robert said.

“I hope that’s not men, plural,” Aaron said.

“You know it’s not,” Robert said, making Aaron smile.

“How did it go with the lawyers this morning?”

“Fine,” Robert said tiredly. “They all talk in legal speak for hours before turning it back into English and signing what they want. Something to do with the tour songs we’re using, or I don’t know.”

“You really don’t care, do you?”

“No,” Robert said. “I’m not a musician to take care of the legal side of things. It‘s what I pay them for.”

“Yeah, I see that,” Aaron said. “I er… I’ve got a table read through coming up of the next few episodes. Which means I’ll be in Manchester, not here, so it’s not that I’m avoiding you…”

“I understand,” Robert said softly. “Are you looking forward to filming again?”

“Kind of,” Aaron said. He was, he loved his work, but he also didn’t want to burst the bubble of a new relationship by leaving to be on set. It had ruined things before, but with Robert sort of in the know… at least what it could be like, maybe this time would be different.

Aaron fell quiet as Robert served their dinner. “I hope it’s good,” Robert said. Aaron tasted it, and made a quiet groan of approval. It tasted like heaven, rich and delicious.

“Good?”

“That’s amazing,” Aaron said, making Robert smile, clearly pleased.

“You don’t have to, just because…”

“No, it really is good,” Aaron said, taking another bite. “You could be a chef.”

“Good to know I have a trade to fall back on if I need it,” Robert said, making Aaron smile. He found himself doing that a lot in Robert’s company, smiling.

They ate in peace, not many words passing, but a lot of almost flirting gazes being held too long.

“That was amazing,” Aaron said honestly when he'd finished.

“Glad you liked it,” Robert said.

“How about dessert?” Aaron said lowly, absolutely leading in one way. Arms in the washing up bowl, Robert closed his eyes as Aaron put his hands on Robert’s hips, pulling their bodies close. He kissed the back of Robert’s neck, grinding into his arse and Robert gasped, then groaned. Clearly up for it, Robert tilted his head to the side, so Aaron could get to more of his skin.

“Aaron…” Robert started.

“Oh, don’t make me stop,” Aaron whispered against his neck, sucking against his pulse point.

“No, I wasn’t…” Robert said, swallowing around a lump in his throat. “I was going to suggest moving this upstairs.”

“Oh!” Aaron said, pleased. “Now that sounds like a plan.” Robert dried his hands from the sink, and pulled Aaron towards the stairs, grinning at him.

* * *

They both woke up in the middle of the night, and neither knew why. Gravitating towards each other, they spooned together, Robert holding Aaron to his chest, all warm skin and closeness.

“Hey, do you want anything?” Robert asked. “A cup of tea or anything?”

“You’d get up and make me a tea at what… three in the morning?” Aaron asked, amusement evident in his voice.

“If you wanted one,” Robert said, and Aaron snuggled into Robert more. The moonlight was shining into the room from the window. They’d not pulled the curtains being otherwise distracted at the time. Robert could see the scars on Aaron’s forearm and gently ran his thumb across them. There weren’t many, but one in particular was deep.

“I wasn’t…” Aaron started quietly. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself.”

“Oh,” Robert said. “You don’t have to…”

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to,” Aaron said. “I wasn’t.”

“Okay,” Robert said. “What were you trying to do?”

“Feel the pain,” Aaron said. “My mind was a mess at the time, and I needed to feel the pain somehow. So… I cut just to feel it. I didn’t mean to go so deep. I got septicaemia which meant I fainted and ended up in hospital.” Robert held Aaron as silently as he could manage as Aaron continued to speak. “I was put on suicide watch because of that, but I’d never wanted to…”

“Okay,” Robert said, filling the pause. “Why did… no, never mind, you don’t have to tell me.”

“I was eighteen,” Aaron said. “I couldn’t cope. I knew I was gay, and I didn’t want to be, I wanted to be normal.”

“You are normal,” Robert couldn’t help but interrupting.

“Oh, because it’s so easy, is it?”

“Point taken,” Robert said.

“I couldn’t accept myself and then… someone came back into my life who… I just fell apart, Robert.”

“Do…”

“I have a therapist,” Aaron said. “I haven’t done it again since my hospital stay. Whenever I’ve got a problem, I call her.”

“I’m glad,” Robert said. “I never want you to go through that.”

“I can’t promise my mental health won’t get worse,” Aaron said. “I will promise to talk to someone if it does.”

“Fair enough,” Robert said, squeezing Aaron tight around the middle. “I’m quite attached to you.”

“Already?” Aaron teased, trying to take the seriousness out of the conversation.

“Yeah,” Robert said softly, kissing into the back of his neck. “I’m getting there.”

* * *

Aaron woke up for the third time in a row to an empty bed, though this time Robert was at least in the room.

“One of these days, I’ll wake up, and you’ll actually be here in bed next to me,” Aaron grumbled, propping himself up on the pillows.

“Calm down,” Robert said, putting the breakfast tray on the bed and taking his dressing gown off, revealing his naked body and giving Aaron an eyeful as he got back into bed. “I didn’t go far.”

“So I see,” Aaron said, grabbing a slice of toast.

“No crumbs,” Robert said, looking at the bed sheets and the toast warily.

“Yeah, yeah.” Once Aaron had eaten and had his morning tea, he turned to Robert. “About last night. I didn’t mean to get all serious on you, I…”

“It’s fine,” Robert said. “I’m glad you could talk to me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, of course,” Robert said. “It meant a lot to me. You can always talk to me. However… we are, whatever’s going on, you can talk to me.”

“Thanks,” Aaron said sincerely, kissing Robert’s shoulder and leaning back on the pillows. He felt content and happy with Robert in bed this morning, and that was worth a lot.

What neither of them knew was that there was a photographer outside Robert’s house, taking pictures of them together through the window. He’d been there all night.


	15. Chapter 15

Impatience biting him, Robert took the breakfast tray and put it on the floor before clambering over Aaron’s body, making Aaron smile at him, a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, you after something, are you?” Aaron teased.

“Morning quickie?” Robert suggested. Aaron tilted his hips upwards in a “yes” movement.

“I do have to get going to Manchester though,” Aaron said, looking at the clock. “In about an hour.”

“Plenty of time,” Robert said, smiling at him as he pushed the bed sheets down, impatient to be rid of them and see Aaron’s body again. He hadn’t nearly got his fill of Aaron yet. Kissing him deeply, he enjoyed feeling Aaron almost melt against him, Aaron’s hands stroking down his back. Robert reached down, broad hands feeling Aaron’s arse.

“Wait, wait,” Aaron said, suddenly panicking.

“What?” Robert asked, a large hand resting on Aaron’s thigh, thumb stroking softly, trying to reassure him.

“I don’t bottom.”

“Oh,” Robert said, clearly disappointed, then thinking it through. “Is it because I haven’t topped before…?”

“No,” Aaron said, interrupting. “No, it’s not you. I just don’t like it. It’s… not going to be a problem?”

“No,” Robert said. “I wanted you to feel what I do when you fuck me.”

“I don’t bottom,” Aaron repeated. “You seemed happy enough last time. And the time before that.”

“More than happy,” Robert said, which made Aaron grin.

“You don’t mind?” Aaron had to ask.

“Whatever you feel comfortable with,” Robert said, and Aaron felt very grateful to him for that, for not pushing, and he leaned up for a kiss. “Just stay still.” Aaron did, watching as Robert grabbed the lube, before straddling Aaron’s thighs and reaching behind and fingering himself open.

It was quite possibly the most gorgeous sight Aaron had ever seen. Robert on top of him, eyes closed and moaning quietly as he stretched himself. He was sexy as hell, his freckled chest looking so good and Aaron gave himself a squeeze, rapidly getting hard.

“Enjoying yourself?” Robert asked, a slow half smug smile on his face.

“Want you to hurry up,” Aaron said. “You know the definition of “a quickie” right?” Robert nodded at the bedside table and Aaron grabbed a condom, taking the hint. Without fuss, Aaron put it on himself and watched as Robert pushed himself onto Aaron, head thrown back and gasping. Aaron moaned loudly, Robert feeling incredibly tight. He wouldn’t lie to himself, this had been a fantasy of his, Robert riding him like this. Robert collapsed onto Aaron’s chest, clenching every now and then around Aaron, trying to get used to him as he kissed Aaron’s neck.

“God, I can’t get enough of you,” Robert whispered. Aaron thought he didn’t know he’d even spoken, kissing the top of his head. Robert twitched a little and Aaron gasped. Robert looked at him, checking and Aaron smiled at him softly, Robert kissing him. Every time he rocked his hips very slightly, he could feel the rush of air from Aaron’s gasp across his own mouth.

Aaron suddenly realised from the small movements of Robert’s hips, the very gentle rocking that Robert was trying to draw this out. “This isn’t going to be quick, is it?”

“No,” Robert said. “As slow as I can manage.” He tilted Aaron’s chin to get another deep kiss, Aaron’s hands stroking over Roberts back, bum, thighs, any part of his skin he could reach. Somehow reaching between them, Robert squeezed Aaron’s balls, making him jump with surprise. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I like that, just gentle.”

“Got it.” Robert lightened his touch and Aaron moaned into it, eyes closing. Aaron tried to control the rhythm, speed Robert up by putting his hands on Roberts hips and trying to thrust deep into him.

“Uhuh,” Robert said, a grin in his voice, pulling Aaron‘s hands away. “Let me be in control.” Aaron groaned and let Robert have his way, Robert giving his a dirty kiss stealing Aaron’s breath away as he slowly pushed himself down onto Aaron, back and forth, a slow maddening rhythm. Aaron would have started to get pissed off, apart from the fact that Robert was kissing him constantly. Aaron knew his lips would be bruised, and Robert would have beard burn on his face and he didn’t care in the slightest. Robert kept clenching around him and Aaron knew he wasn’t going to last as long as he wanted to.

“I’m really close,” Aaron moaned, sweat on his skin everywhere. Robert stopped moving instantly. “What?!” Aaron breathed. “No, please… oh God, I’m so close, please…” Robert kissed him to shut him up. “Please…” Aaron moaned when they broke off the kiss, and Robert grinned at him.

Aaron flipped them over onto their sides, still joined and moaned quietly. He rocked into Robert and their faces were so close, he could see every flicker of emotion on his face, every single expression, and Aaron couldn’t look away as he thrust inside him. Robert was losing control, and Aaron loved it. It was just sweaty, thrilling, pure sensation. Aaron reached between them and stroked Robert, making him buck and moan into Aaron’s neck.

“Aaron…” he whispered. Robert kissed Aaron’s mouth, his neck, anywhere, crying out with his climax, riding the high. It didn’t take much for Aaron to follow him, filling the condom, bodies pressed so tightly together.

“Mm…” Robert said lowly, a sound of complete satisfaction and Aaron grinned.

* * *

 

“I’m going to be late for work,” Aaron said, pulling his phone from the charger and putting it in his jean pocket quickly, trying to make sure he had everything.

“Are you telling me it’s not worth it?” Robert asked and Aaron grinned.

“Okay, yeah, it was,” Aaron said. He’d had a really quick shower, and his hair was still wet as Robert pulled him in for a kiss. “I’m going to be a couple of days okay?”

“Yeah, I know,” Robert said. He gave Aaron a quick kiss as he hurried to leave. He was pushing it to get to Manchester without being late as it was.

* * *

 

Aaron drove, his mind racing. He’d thought… God. He hadn’t had anything like this before, what he had with Robert. It was so new, shockingly new, and yet when they had sex… it wasn’t about being turned on, or wanting someone else’s body, or lust. That was part of it, of course, a big part, but there was something else with Robert, something he couldn’t define. It was more than what their bodies were going through, when Robert looked in his eyes, it felt like he was looking into a very part of his soul, like Robert touched a part of him that no one else had.

They’d only had sex three times. God, was that all? It felt like it should be more. He’d had sex with a lot of men. Being an actor who was out… well, he got to have an active sex life if he wanted one. He’d had never had this. He needed Robert like he needed air. That terrified him. Ever since he managed to successfully be a teen actor, he’d never had to rely on anyone, he’d made damn sure he was self sufficient in everything. If you’re not relying on someone, then they can’t hurt you. 

Last night, he’d nearly told Robert about Gordon. He’d been close, pulled from sleep at three in the morning and feeling safe. He was glad he hadn’t. Robert was just coming to terms with his own attraction to men, and if he told Robert that… Robert would either run from him or treat him like glass and he wanted neither. It was the first time since the trial that he’d even thought of telling another human being. The press didn’t know. He was a minor at the time, so his name was kept sealed under a court order, and he'd got lucky. No one had dug to find out exactly what his father was in prison for. But... the trust he had in Robert? It frightened him. That Aaron wanted to be honest, completely, to his boyfriend so soon into the relationship.

A beeping car horn told Aaron he wasn’t paying attention to the road and he pulled over, stopping the car, his mind filled with Robert.

“Shut up,” he told himself. “You cannot fall for him, all right? Not an option. It’s a fun screw, and he’s gorgeous, that’s all. He’ll be on tour soon. You‘ve only known him a few days!” That last statement wasn’t true though. He’d not been in a relationship with him long at all, but he’d known him weeks now, because they’d been flirting long before they actually got anywhere. Robert wasn’t the persona, the front that everyone thought they knew in the media, in the music industry. He was so much more. Yeah, the smugness was still there, but… “Get to work,” Aaron told himself. “You’re not fixing anything here, sitting on the side of the road and dreaming about Robert.”

* * *

**Two days later.**

The knock on the door pulled Robert away from channel flicking on the telly. Sighing, he answered it, finding a stranger there. A man in his mid forties maybe, a completely ordinary and forgettable face.

“Can I help you?” Robert asked.

“You want to invite me in.” It wasn’t a question and Robert was mentally debating putting extra security on his house if someone could just come up to him and start demanding stuff.

“No, I think I’ll skip that,” Robert said. The man shoved his foot into the door so Robert couldn’t close it. “Or shall I call the police?”

“Feel free,” the man said. He produced a photograph seemingly from nowhere and Robert stopped breathing. Him in bed with Aaron. “Can I come in now?”

Robert said nothing, but moved aside, letting him in.

“Why are you here?” Robert said when he could think about something to say.

“Meaning?”

“Why aren’t you selling them to a newspaper?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No,” Robert said. “It seems like the most logical step.”

“You’ll pay more than they will.”

“Oh. This is blackmail,” Robert stated, feeling stupid that he hadn’t caught on to that sooner.

“I’ve got hundreds,” the man said, opening an A4 envelope and tipping the photos onto the kitchen counter, where images of Robert and Aaron in different stages of sex were displayed in bright technicolor.

“I could sue you for being on private property,” Robert said, thinking fast.

“I’m sure you could. But whatever newspaper of magazine or publication wants to buy these from me will cover that. Which would go on for months in court, while the worlds media wonders if your marriage ended because you’re gay, and poor Chrissie, how could she put up with that? How your image will suffer, and your tour coming up… paying me is the better option.”

“How much do you want?”

“Two million.”

Robert laughed at him for a few seconds. “Are you out of your mind?”

“You’ve got the money.”

“No, I don’t,” Robert said. The man looked at him with disbelief. “Okay, I do, but I’ve just paid for a divorce, a London flat, and a refurbishment here. That money would bankrupt me. I’d have nothing left, you’re not getting that kind of money.” Robert didn’t exactly know how much was in his bank accounts, but it would be a big chunk, far more than he’d be prepared to pay. A few hundred thousand, he could reason that. But that was insane money.

“I’ll be nice,” the man said. “One point five million then.”

“I’ll need time,” Robert said, making him scoff. “I can’t walk into a bank and demand a million or more without them making security checks. Checks take time. I can’t give it to you now.”

“Twenty four hours,” he said.

“I need…”

“I’m not an idiot,” he said. “Twenty four hours, then I want my money, and you can have every copy of those photos with your toy boy that you want.” Robert bristled at that, but he didn’t say anything. “You can keep those. I’ve got plenty of spares.” He left, and Robert realised absently that he didn’t even know his name. Not that that mattered. With fingers shaking slightly, Robert went through the photos. Some of them were graphic, some were more sweet. He really liked one of him cuddling Aaron, Aaron’s lips curved upwards in a smile with his eyes closed. Then he shook his head, because how could he like a photo he was being blackmailed over?

He needed to make two phone calls, one to Aaron and one to his lawyer. His lawyer first, though.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter of the whole thing so far!! I hope you enjoy it! Thanks to peoplediedrobert on tumblr for giving me a second pair of eyes on this and helping me! <3
> 
> *I have no idea of the legalities of this, so I'm just making it up as I go along.

“You’ve got me here in the middle of nowhere,” Katrina said, walking through Robert’s house. “Are you going to tell me why?”

“I’m being blackmailed,” Robert said. No use beating around the bush, his lawyer needed to know after all.

“Right, okay… over what?”

“These.” Robert showed Katrina the pictures. She’d got him through his divorce while keeping the public on his side, he trusted her.

“Wow,” she said, eyebrows raising at the photos. “Didn’t expect that, okay, so…”

“He wants one and a half million.”

“What?” she asked in disbelief. “You’re famous, you’re not a world leader. These aren’t worth that.”

“Oh, good,” Robert said sarcastically. “I’ll tell him that shall I?”

“Who’s the guy in the photos?” she asked, nodding at the pictures.

“Aaron,” Robert said. “Aaron Livesy. An actor…”

“Yeah, I’ve heard of him in something,” she said, waving her hand in dismissal. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t want to pay,” Robert said. In the time it took his lawyer to get to the house, he’d worked that much out.

“If you don’t offer anything… not much I can do,” Katrina said. “I’m guessing you don’t want these published.”

“Of course I don’t,” Robert said. “The pictures were taken on private property, the camera pointed at my house. Is there anything we can do about that? To stop them coming out?”

“No,” she said. “I can get whichever news organisation that publishes them caught up in legal red tape for years, but not until they’re published. Which is exactly what you don’t want.”

“Perfect,” Robert said. “Really, perfect.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were gay?” she said gently. “It might have made it easier to handle your divorce, people understand that.” She wasn’t criticising him, which is why Robert answered.

“I’m not gay,” Robert said. She looked at the explicit photos pointedly. “I think… bisexual would cover it.”

“Okay,” she said. “I can try and persuade him to take less money, and the knowledge that he won’t have a legal case coming after him, get him to sign a non disclosure agreement on payment, but…

“No,” Robert said. “I don’t want to pay him a penny.” He hadn’t realised he felt like that until talking to her.

“Then… I can do as much as I can to protect you for when these come out. Because they will, it’s too big a story. I'll need to talk to your publicist and...”

“I’m scared,” Robert admitted. “I don’t want… with Aaron, it’s so new this could ruin it.”

“Robert, what do you want from me?”

“I don’t know,” Robert said.

“This er… Aaron. Is he out?”

“Yes,” Robert said. “He’s not seen them though. I em… I am going to call him, but he’s working and he can’t fix this, so…”

"This isn't the worst thing in the world, Robert," Katrina said. "I promise your team will get you out the other side."

* * *

“Hi,” Aaron said, after picking up the phone. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I just… wanted to hear your voice.”

“What’s wrong?” Aaron said, managing to notice something was up instantly.

“Nothing,” Robert said, but Aaron didn’t believe him. “I… can you come over tonight? Or I can come over yours? Wherever…”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I might be late because of work, but I can be at your place. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“I will, later,” Robert said. “I’m okay.”

“You’re not…”

“I’m not running away from you,” Robert said. "I promise."

“Okay,” Aaron said. “Sure?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I’ll see you later.”

* * *

 

Aaron felt exhausted by the time he’d driven back to the village. It’d been a long day at work, and if Robert hadn’t called he’d have stayed in a hotel in Manchester easily to save the drive. But he had called, so Aaron parked outside Home Farm, yawning as he knocked on Robert’s door.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked when Robert answered the door, Aaron knew something was. Robert didn’t even deny anything was wrong, knew Aaron wouldn’t believe him and Aaron had to know after all. Robert nodded his head and Aaron followed him to the kitchen, seeing a large envelope waiting on the table.

“Right, and…”

“Just look at them,” Robert said heavily. Aaron did, getting the stack of photos out, and then he froze. The top image was him fucking Robert leaving nothing to the imagination.

“Oh, my God,” Aaron breathed.

“There’s loads there,” Robert said, Aaron getting his wits together and flicking through them quickly. Some of the photos were downright pornographic.

“Have you set me up?” Aaron asked.

“What?!” Robert said. “No! I’m being blackmailed over them.” Aaron couldn’t stop looking at them in panic, fingers fumbling over them, images flashing in front of him. “Someone wants paying to stop him from selling them to the press.”

“Right,” Aaron said absently.

“Do you really think so little of me, that you think I’d set you up over some pictures?” Robert asked, picking up on what Aaron had said.

“No,” Aaron said after a moment. Of course he didn’t, what they‘d shared the other night had been real. “I didn’t know what to think! You could have warned me.”

“I didn’t want to upset you when you had to drive home,” Robert said truthfully. He took the photos from Aaron and put them face down on the table.

“What… how much does he want?”

“One and a half million,” Robert said and Aaron snorted.

“Well, you’re certainly not a cheap lay,” Aaron said after a moment. “God, what do we do?”

“I’ve talked to my lawyer,” Robert said. “She said we can’t stop them from coming out except by paying. If they’re printed… when they’re printed, we can sue the photographer and which ever paper takes them, but that still leaves it with…”

“You’re not going to pay the blackmail,” Aaron said, realising it.

“No, I’m not,” Robert said. He put his hands flat on the kitchen side and turned away from Aaron, bracing himself against the counter. “I’m not ready for this to come out, and I really don’t want the added pressure of being with you publicly, let alone being what… some kind of bisexual poster boy for the masses. But the alternative? I’m not paying to keep you hidden like some dirty little secret, or like I’m ashamed of you. Because I’m not.”

Aaron put a hand on his back, feeling the tension there. “I know that,” Aaron said. “Whatever the journalists print or don’t, I do know that Robert. But what those photos will mean for you if they come out…”

“It scares me,” Robert said. “Of course it does, I’d have to be an idiot for it not to.”

“I’ll chip in,” Aaron said, making Robert turn around and look at him in surprise. “A few hundred grand? I can make that happen.”

“Aaron…”

“Coming out is hard when you really want to, and you feel ready to,” Aaron said. “Add in the public interest, and I was nowhere near your level of fame when I came out. I don’t want this to happen to you, I really don’t.”

“I know,” Robert said and Aaron stared at him in disbelief. “Look, obviously I don’t know, but I can imagine. I don’t feel like I have much of a choice, here.”

“We could pay,” Aaron said.

“This time? Yeah, fine,” Robert said. “It would get rid of the immediate problem, but… I can’t see us stopping having sex any time soon…” Aaron grinned at that. “We are going to forget to close the curtains once in a while, so what happens next time? And this photographer will know he‘s got an easy target.”

Aaron had nothing to say to that. Robert had a point. “Robert, this will hurt you. I’m not wild about my arse making the rounds online either.” Robert said nothing, just looked at him.

“I don’t want us to break,” Aaron said, admitting his real fear. “I really like you and I’m scared that once this is public, then that’s us over. A few fantastic nights with you is all it’ll ever be. I don’t want it to be it, you took a lot of persuading to get in bed and that‘d just be an entire waste of time.” It was a joke and Robert smiled weakly at it.

“I want a bath,” Robert said, changing the subject completely. “Join me?”

“That doesn’t fix the problem,” Aaron warned.

“No,” Robert said. “But you naked and wet sounds like a good temporary solution.” Aaron grinned and grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge.

“I could be persuaded,” Aaron said. “Come on.”

* * *

 

The bath water was beautifully hot as Robert sank into it, bubbles flying everywhere. Aaron had only mocked him once for adding bubble bath under the hot water.

“You look tired,” Robert said, lying opposite Aaron and noticing the shadows under his eyes.

“Long day at work,” Aaron said. 

“How was it?”

“Fine,” Aaron said. “We did the table read through, I talked to the producers and stuff, talking about the character arc, wardrobe measured me for clothes for next series. Just a long day.”

“You enjoy it, though, right?”

“Filming, yeah. I absolutely love it. It’s all the messing around beforehand I don’t like. Really thrilling dirty talk by the way.”

Robert laughed. His hand slipped under the water and grabbed Aaron’s foot. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to relax you,” Robert said. 

“Foot fetish?” Aaron teased.

“No,” Robert said, carefully pressing his thumbs into the sole of Aaron’s foot. Aaron moaned almost without willing it and his eyes closed as his head rolled back and hit the porcelain bath tub gently. “Good?”

“Mm…” Aaron said. “Don’t stop.” Robert smiled, continuing his massage and Aaron groaned. Robert had talented fingers, which he shouldn’t have been surprised by.

“You sound filthy like that,” Robert said lowly. Aaron grinned and nudged Robert’s hand with his other foot to try and get him to continue. Robert moved to Aaron’s other foot and pushed his fingers into Aaron’s damp skin. After a couple of minutes he leaned forward and sucked Aaron’s toes, making him whine.

“I’m not the one with a foot fetish then,” Robert said with a wicked grin. “Good to know your weak points.”

“Just don’t stop,” Aaron said. He was very close to heaven with Robert’s hands on him, smiling to himself as Robert’s hands moved to his calf, stroking his skin. He knew this would end in sex, but Aaron was more than content to let Robert feel him up slowly. Or not so slowly. Robert made the water ripple as he leaned over Aaron and pressed a hand between his thighs. “Oh!”

“Aaron, look at me,” Robert said as he stroked Aaron hard. Aaron opened his eyes, seeing Roberts blue ones just above him, framed with long pale lashes. Absolutely gorgeous and he was trying to make him come. Aaron arched his body, sighing with it.

“God, what are you doing to me?” Aaron whispered, his wet hand clutching Robert’s hair. “Yes, Robert… yeah…” Aaron moaned as he climaxed. Aaron whimpered quietly as Robert held him and he returned to himself. Aaron fumbled with Robert, trying to get a hand on him.

“No, that was about you,” Robert said. “Bed.” Aaron didn’t have the energy to argue, smiling slowly at him.


	17. Chapter 17

_“Mr Sugden would like it known that legal proceedings against Mr Wilkes and all publications and websites that publish these pictures will be swift and ongoing. The photographs were illegally taken on private property, and it is a gross invasion of privacy for both Robert Sugden and Aaron Livesy. Who Robert Sugden chooses to see is his own business and does not require a public spectacle. Robert’s tour is going ahead as planned with no schedule changes."_

“Yeah, short and to the point,” Robert said. No mention of his sexuality either, which was what he wanted. “Sounds good.”

“Great,” Katrina said. “I’ll get that to your publicist, get the ball rolling.”

“Have they been sold?”

“Yeah, I think they’re going to be published tomorrow,” she said. “We’re already being contacted for comment, so… he’s not buried them, he’s gone to someone else for money. Sorry.”

“Mm, me too,” Robert said. It had taken maybe four or five hours since Robert had told his blackmailer that he wouldn’t be getting a penny from him, to this conversation with his lawyer who’d drafted a statement. Presuming things unravelled like everyone expected them to. Aaron wasn’t here, he’d had to go back to Manchester for work, but Robert expected him tonight. He needed him. Aaron by his side would make this better, he was sure of it.

* * *

“I’m not going to be in for a few days,” Aaron told Leyla after they finished filming. It was only two short scenes, an easy days work, but he wanted to tell her what was coming. She was his friend after all.

“You’re meant to be in on Monday,” she said.

“If I’m able to leave the house by the time Monday morning rolls around, I’m going to be surprised,” Aaron said. He fully expected paparazzi to camp out outside the village, probably Robert’s house rather than his. Aaron knew that even though Robert didn’t want to pay, he was nervous about this coming out, and Aaron didn’t want to pull him away from the comfort of his own house. Plus practically it had a long drive, so with security, Robert’s was easier to hide away in.

“What’s happening?” Leyla asked. Aaron made sure they were alone in their dressing room, no make up or costume guys and then sighed.

“Some pictures of me are going to be printed in the morning,” Aaron said. “Unflattering pictures.”

“What were you doing?”

“I think the question is more... who,” Aaron said quietly. “Just keep it to yourself today, I’m sure tomorrow everyone’s going to know.”

“Go on!” Leyla said, eager for some gossip. “Got yourself a boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, feeling a flutter in spite of himself. “I have.”

“Who is it?” she asked. “Famous? Oh, he must be if you’re worried, it doesn’t matter if you’re dating John Smith does it?”

“Robert… Sugden.”

“WHAT?!” Leyla squealed.

“Quiet!” Aaron said, looking at the closed door. It didn’t matter, it would be out in a matter of hours, but if he could delay the inevitable, he would.

“Oh, my God,” she said, wide eyed and shaking her head. “You’ve been sleeping with him?”

“Wait for tomorrow, I’m sure you’ll see all the pictures.”

“How bad?” she asked, seriously.

“Oh, really bad,” Aaron said. “A photographer was outside and basically got three hundred pictures of us having sex. Which I’m not looking forward to being broadcast.”

“What about your guy in Spain?” Leyla asked. “You said… it was him, wasn’t it?” she asked, putting the pieces together.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “It was. I really like him, Leyla. I really do, but I don’t need pictures of me being on my knees for him to be all over the tabloids and the internet.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Is it serious? With him, I mean.”

“I want it to be,” Aaron said. “But we haven’t had time yet. We’ve barely been together a few weeks? It’s not…”

“It’s too soon,” she said.

“Yeah, it is.” Aaron bit his lip. “I’m afraid that when it comes out, Robert’s going to panic. I’m the first guy he’s been with, he wasn’t ready for this… storm of media attention that’s going to be on us.”

“I’m sorry,” Leyla said. “Really. I can’t imagine…”

“I hated coming out,” Aaron said. “To the world. To my family, to you, my friends, it was fine. I was still a bit unsure… how you’d all react, but it was fine. But because of what I do for a living, everyone else decided to weigh in too. It’ll be worse for Robert, he’s more famous, he’s popular, he’s been married to a woman for Gods sake, and…”

Leyla took Aaron and gave him a tight hug. He really appreciated that, he hadn’t known how much he’d needed it. He smoothed her hair down when he let her go. “Are you happy with him?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “If it wasn’t for the bloody photos.”

“I want to meet him,” she said.

“No, you don’t,” Aaron said. “I’m not scaring him off like that.”

“Oh, come on, in the future?”

“Yeah, fine, just not any time soon, okay?”

* * *

 

It took until nearly midnight for Aaron to make it to Robert’s. A crash on the motorway had meant traffic was crawling, and he stopped to get a takeaway to eat as well. He was dead on his feet by the time he made it to Home Farm. He noticed John outside the door, and sighed. Robert had already arranged the security then, ready for tomorrow. John let him through with a nod and he found Robert in the kitchen.

“Hi,” Aaron said. Robert walked over to him and held him close, so close, burying his face in Aaron’s neck. “Tough day?”

“Just wanna hold you,” Robert said, muffled against his skin.

“Lets go to bed and try and sleep,” Aaron said. “Worrying about the morning won’t help.” Robert nodded and grabbed Aaron’s hand, going upstairs.

* * *

Rolling over to Robert’s side of the bed, Aaron found himself with a face full of cold sheets. Robert wasn’t here. Again. He’d felt briefly happy, but that was making way for irritation and a flash of anger. He needed to wake up with Robert every now and then. Senses catching up with him, he heard where Robert must be. The quiet sounds of a piano playing in the distance. Grabbing Robert’s dressing gown, he covered himself and went to find him. Aaron had never been in Robert’s music room, and everything looked new and almost unused. Aaron felt reminded that this place had been pretty unfurnished and unlived in until recently. Robert hadn’t noticed him there, and carried on playing. Aaron didn’t even know Robert could play the piano, the guitar and his voice was what he was known for. He stayed quiet, listening to the soothing music, Robert not singing. The only thing that could have added to it.

“I didn’t know you could play the piano,” Aaron said when the music faded away, Robert's hands resting on the keys.

“I’m not really good enough,” Robert said. “Not for records or touring, but I still enjoy it. Morning.”

“Robert, I can’t do this,” he said, feeling like it had to burst out of him. Robert’s face went slack, and the panic was there so instantly. “No, I’m not breaking up with you,” Aaron said quickly. “Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t leave you on your own with those photos coming out today. I‘m not that cruel. I don’t want to break up, it’s not that.”

“What is it?”

“I… I’m tired of spending the night with you and waking up to an empty bed. I need to wake up with you Robert.”

“I don’t like to disturb you,” Robert said. “You look so peaceful when you’re sleeping.”

“Please wake me,” Aaron said. “If you have to get up, or do something, or work or a phone call… I need to be awake.” Aaron couldn’t voice what he desperately wanted to. That after the first time they had sex, he now panics a little if Robert isn’t next to him in the morning. In case he’s got cold feet, or Aaron’s just imagined the whole thing. That continually waking up alone makes him feel cheap, or that it’s just sex when rationally he knows it isn’t. Or that he wants to wake up with a cuddle, which he’d rather die than ever actually admit that to Robert.

Robert considered that, and then nodded. “Okay. I‘ll wake you up. Don’t get grumpy on me though, for lack of sleep.”

“Deal.” Aaron leaned across and kissed Robert gently. Robert’s phone was resting on the piano and it buzzed three times in quick succession. Robert glanced at it, then switched the damn thing off. He didn’t need the panicked calls from his management he was bound to get. “The photos are out then?”

“Published this morning,” Robert said. Aaron’s phone was still by their bed, so he hadn’t had a call. Though Leyla and his mother were probably the only two who would care. Aaron was out already, it would hardly be a shock to see him intimate with a man, even if he‘d prefer to not be naked in the papers.

“Turning your phone off won’t make it go away.”

“No,” Robert agreed. “Saves me from a few lectures though.”

“Robert…”

“I don’t want the many people involved with managing my career, my tour and my publicity shouting at me for lying to them, or for not coming out of my own free will. I don’t want to listen to my ex wife berating me for telling her I was straight for years and that‘s why our marriage failed. She will call me, I know she will. I don’t want to be tempted to check twitter or instagram to see what people think of me, of us, because it‘s not their business, and who I see shouldn‘t be a political statement. They‘ve got my lawyer and my publicist to go through, they shouldn‘t need to call me. My mum and Vic have the home phone number, so they’ll ring that if they really need me.”

Hard to argue with that really. “I’m worried about you,” Aaron said.

“I know,” Robert said. “What do you think about sex on the piano?”

“What?” Aaron asked, thrown by the complete change of subject.

“Sex,” Robert said. “On the piano, so every time I’m in here making music I can imagine you spread out for me.”

“You want a distraction,” Aaron noticed.

“God, yes,” Robert said. “Anything.”

“I’m not having sex with you, Robert,” Aaron said firmly. “You’re looking to delay it. How much it’s going to hurt when the world finds out.”

“I can’t just sit here, waiting,” Robert said.

“I have to learn some lines,” Aaron said. “Read through the script with me?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, now this is a quick update from me! Don't get used to it!
> 
> As a note, in this AU, Chas and Robert don’t have a history, as Robert left the village when he was a teenager and stayed with his mum. This means Chas’s canon dislike for Robert isn’t present here, which I felt needed explaining before the chapter and her reaction!

 

Aaron could hear Robert on the phone, voice raised though he couldn't hear the exact conversation. As soon as they'd finished reading through Aaron's lines, Robert had turned his phone back on. (Robert was terrible at it, kept correcting the plot lines and seemed incapable of reading the lines off a piece of paper, but his impressions made Aaron laugh anyway.)

Bracing himself, Aaron looked at his phone. Countless alerts, notifications, messages, voicemails, everything. He ignored that, and opened a text from Leyla.  _Here if you want to talk xx._  He didn’t reply, but he appreciated the sentiment all the same. It was good to know he had a friend. Instead of looking at his mums many text messages, or listening to his answer phone, he just cut to the chase and he called her.

“Aaron!” she almost shouted down the phone.

“Yeah, I wasn’t ignoring you,” Aaron said quickly. “I turned my phone off.”

“Are you okay?”

That wasn’t what he thought she’d say, he expected shouting or something, and it threw him. “I will be,” Aaron said honestly. “How’s the fall out, then?”

“Have you seen the pictures?”

“Not the ones they’ve published,” Aaron said.

“They’re a bit…”

“Graphic, I know,” Aaron said, face going red. God, he didn’t want to know that his mother had seen him in the middle of having sex for Christs sake. “We were… the photographer tried to blackmail us, so I know what those photos look like.”

“Oh, Aaron…” Chas shook her head, he could almost see it down the phone line. “You and Robert, then?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said.

“How long?”

“A while…”

“Come on, how long?” she pushed. 

“We’ve been together a few weeks,” Aaron said. “We weren’t ready for this, not the press and stuff. I… I liked him from the second I first saw him.” He could admit it now, but he had. All that time ago when he’d seen Robert shirtless in his dressing room on the stupid talk show, he’d liked him. Aaron hadn’t expected it to develop into this, but it had.

“That was months ago!”

“I know.”

“You can keep a secret,” she said, and Aaron couldn’t decide if she sounded impressed or not.

“When you’re gay, sometimes you have to,” Aaron said heavily. “Robert’s not gay.” That felt important to say.

“I’m not judging you,” Chas said. “I just want you happy.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said.

“Are you home, or are you locked in a hotel somewhere away from the press?”

“I’m up at Robert’s,” Aaron said. “Don’t come over. I don’t want him to have any more pressure, his management are already bollocking him.”

“Why?!” Chas said indignantly.

“Something about how it limits countries he can tour in, and makes organisation more difficult,” Aaron grumbled. That hadn’t even occurred to him before the pictures were printed, how quickly it might effect Robert’s career. “It’s Robert’s business, he’ll sort it, I know he will.”

“Do you need me for anything?”

“No,” Aaron said, appreciating it all the same. “Just don’t speak to any journalists, or something. Maybe burn the paper.”

“They shouldn’t have outed him,” Chas said.

“No, they shouldn’t,” Aaron said. “Journalists aren’t known for their integrity though. I’ll call later, okay?”

“Okay,” Chas said. “Love you.”

* * *

Robert felt emotionally wrung out, and all he wanted to do was bury himself in Aaron’s body and forget the outside world existed. It simply didn’t seem like a realistic option any time soon. He’d seen the paper. Two double page spreads as well as the front page, not too explicit, apart from the tag at the bottom that said “check our website for more pics!” Robert had clicked online, and they were the more x rated ones that probably didn’t pass the editors checks before it went to print. He’d felt so embarrassed and ashamed and angry that he’d been quite literally caught with his pants down. Then the anger took over, because it was his own house. If he wanted a threesome every night of the week, it was no one else’s business but his. No one had the right to point a camera at his bedroom window, simply because he made music that was popular.

He hadn’t seen Aaron since management called. He knew Aaron was in the house, but he was probably talking to his own publicists to try and calm the situation. 

He hesitated on his mums name on his phone. Robert hadn’t called her, not even to warn her. He had had no idea how he’d start that conversation, so he’d put it off and off, until it was this morning and the photos were everywhere. He couldn’t continue to be a coward, so he dialled her number.

“Hello?”

“Mum, it’s me,” Robert said, feeling like a boy again. The shame he wanted so desperately to fight was creeping its way up his spine again and he hated feeling like this.

“Robert!” she said happily. “How are you?”

“Have you seen…”

“Yes,” she said, cutting him off. “I want to know you’re okay.”

“I’m not really,” Robert said, admitting it out loud. “I just… Oh God. I don’t want the whole world seeing me and Aaron like that and… it was supposed to be just us, not us and a photographer to document it.”

“Did Aaron know he was there?”

“What?! No!” Robert snapped.

“Mm,” she said, sounding unconvinced.

“Of course he didn’t, he’s as embarrassed as me,” Robert said again.

“Good for his career, though,” she said cynically. Robert had no idea what to say to that. “I bet the ratings for Sugar Rush rocket after this.”

“That’s not even a consideration for him,” Robert said. “He’s not set me up. He wanted to pay.”

“Pay?” Robert sighed and explained about the blackmail before the pictures went to the press. “Robert, you should have paid!”

“Aaron wanted to,” Robert said. “I didn’t. I’m not ashamed of him, and even though I’ve been outed so much sooner than I’m ready for, I’m still not ashamed of him. I won’t be made to feel like he’s a dirty little secret to hide away, that I can only touch him when we’re sure that no ones watching. I want to walk down the street with him, not be in hiding when I’ve done nothing wrong. That’s why I didn’t pay.”

“Is he worth it?” Sarah asked. “Worth all this?”

“Bit late for that,” Robert said.

“But is he?” she asked. “I want to know.”

“I like him, mum. I think this could be something more, so yes. In that way, he is worth it.”

“This is going to be tough.”

“I know,” Robert said. Then he heard something in the background. A car running. “Where are you?”

“On my way to Yorkshire,” she said casually.

“Mum!” Robert snapped. “No, you said you’d never come back to the village.”

“You need me,” she said simply. “I could see Vic while I’m there too.”

“Mum…”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks,” he said quietly.

Robert said goodbye, and he turned to see Aaron in the doorway. How much of the conversation had he overheard? “Have you seen the pictures?”

“Yes,” Robert said.

“They’re a lot,” Aaron said. He’d given in to temptation upstairs and had a quick google.

“Yes,” Robert said again. Either Aaron hadn’t overheard, or he was choosing not to mention it.

“How are you?” Aaron asked, walking over to him and putting his hands on Robert’s hips. “And don’t you dare say fine.”

“I feel… shaky. Is that weird? I don’t know. I feel like I’m walking a tightrope and I’m not sure which way I’m going to fall.” Aaron’s hands on him helped to calm him down though. He liked Aaron’s touch on him and he could feel the heat of his body with how close they were standing. Aaron moved to kiss him, but Robert’s phone rang. Chrissie flashed up as the name and Robert groaned.

“Ex wife?” Aaron asked, though he already knew.

“I have to answer it,” he said. “If I don’t she’ll just keep calling.” Aaron didn’t want to get in the way of that, he didn’t know Chrissie, so if that’s what Robert thought was best… Robert answered it, but put it on speaker, an act of trust that Aaron appreciated.

“Chrissie, I am not in the mood for this,” Robert said, sounding tired. “The fact that we got a divorce means you no longer get an opinion on who I sleep with.”

“How many men did you cheat on me with?” she demanded. “I want to know.”

“I didn’t sleep with any men when I was with you,” Robert said. “It doesn’t even matter anyway, why do you care?”

“Because I caught you on top of my own sister!” Chrissie shrieked. “It’s not that hard to imagine you with other men as well!”

“Those photos change nothing,” Robert said. “You can shout at me to make yourself feel better, but my private life has no effect on you. You got your divorce settlement, now leave me alone.” Robert hung up and he looked completely beaten by the events of the day, and it was barely the afternoon.

“Come to bed,” Aaron said.

“I’m not in the mood for sex.”

“No,” Aaron said. “I’m going to give you a massage and relax you. You look exhausted.”

“That… sounds good, actually.” Aaron switched Robert’s phone off, and he let him do it, going upstairs.

It took well over an hour for Aaron to work out the tension in Robert’s back, feeling his skin from shoulders to arse, and copping a feel in the process which made Robert both tilt his hips and have half a smile on his face. Aaron only stopped when Robert’s eyes had drifted shut, and his even quiet breathing had filled the room, glad that Robert could find some peace in sleep. Aaron covered him with the duvet gently, padding out of the bedroom in bare feet, gripping his phone tightly in case there was another problem.

John was in the hallway, waiting for him. “What is it?” Aaron asked. He didn’t like needing security, but John was unobtrusive and quiet, so Aaron wasn’t rude to him. He’d had the good sense to vanish on that night in Ibiza too, which Aaron appreciated.

“Robert’s mothers here,” he said. “In the kitchen, I couldn’t stop her.”

“Thanks,” Aaron said, going through and finding a middle aged woman standing there. He couldn’t see anything about Robert in her face, before he remembered they weren’t biologically related. As he was sizing her up, Aaron realised that was exactly what she was doing with him.

“You must be Sarah,” Aaron said to break the silence. He tried not to stare at the prominent scar across her face, but he didn’t think he was that successful in not drawing attention to it.

“You’re Aaron,” she said. “Is my son here?”

“Yes,” Aaron said. “But I’m not waking him up.” She didn’t look impressed with that. Didn’t look impressed with him either. “He’s had a really tough day, and it’s taken me ages to get him off to sleep in the first place.”

“I wonder how you did that,” Sarah said with a heavy implication, and Aaron flushed red which probably didn’t help her impression of his methods.

“He’ll be awake in half an hour,” Aaron said. “Do you want a brew?”


	19. Chapter 19

The silence was heavy and uncomfortable as Sarah studied him from over her mug. “A fire,” she said. “My face. The question you don’t want to ask.”

“Yeah, I’m…” Aaron cleared his throat. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be staring.”

“Everyone does,” Sarah said. “Robert paid for the skin grafts, but you can still see it.”

“Sorry,” Aaron repeated.

“How long have you been with my son?”

“A few weeks,” Aaron said. “I’m not using him," he added.

“Hm,” she said, and Aaron sighed heavily.

“You don’t like me,” Aaron stated.

“I don’t like the situation Robert’s in,” Sarah said. “That’s different. It's a lot of pressure.”

“I know it is. If it wasn’t me, it would be someone else,” Aaron said, trying to keep a tight hold on his temper. Losing his rag wasn’t going to help anyone, and of course she‘d be concerned over Robert. He was too. “I know this is uncomfortable, but I’m not waking him up. He’s had Chrissie on the phone as well as the press and he’s exhausted.”

“What did she want?”

“Just to yell at him I think,” Aaron said. “Nothing serious.

“I never liked her,” Sarah said. “Did he take it? The shouting?”

“Pretty much. He’s embarrassed.”

“Aren’t you?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Of course I am, but I’ve been out publicly or ages. It’s not my career it’s going to affect. I’m worried about him.”

“Why do you think I’m here?” Sarah asked, smiling for the first time. “How old are you?”

“Twenty five,” Aaron said. “Why?”

“You look younger than Robert, that’s all,” she said.

“Not that much younger,” Aaron said. “I’m not using him. I swear I’m not, and it’s not about the money or anything like that.”

“Okay,” Sarah said. “Have you had many relationships?” Ah. Aaron realised he was being assessed and felt a little hot. He was never any good at the meeting the parents thing, had avoided it on the rare occasion it had come up.

“Not many,” Aaron said, trying not to shut down completely.

“Do you want kids?” Aaron snorted into his cup of tea with shock.

“I’ve been with Robert a few weeks, that’s all,” Aaron said. “I think that’s a few years too early.”

“Do you though?” she asked, smiling at him. She clearly knew she was pushing him, but Aaron didn’t answer. Even though it would probably never happen, that made something niggle at the back of his mind. Robert and Chrissie didn’t have kids. He was married to her, after all. Did Robert not want them? It’s been a month, Aaron, he reminded himself. _Stop_.

They settled into a silence for the five minutes it took for Robert to appear, having thrown an old T shirt on. Aaron felt grateful he hadn’t come downstairs shirtless, considering.

“Mum,” Robert said, suddenly sounding a lot younger and Aaron moved out of the way so he could hug his mother, enveloping Sarah in his arms. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“How are you?” Robert didn’t say “okay” though Aaron could see it was there, waiting to come out. “It’s all right,” Sarah said. “It’ll be fine.”

Robert pulled back and smiled at her. “You’ve met Aaron, then,” he said, and Aaron knew he was trying to include Aaron in the conversation.

“Yes, I have,” she said. “The cause of all this mess.”

Aaron bristled and Robert stiffened. “That’s not fair,” Robert said, the atmosphere tightening.

“I know,” Sarah said. “I wasn’t being serious. Sorry.” The apology was directed at Aaron

“How’s the reaction?” Robert said.

“Turn your phone on and find out.”

“No thanks,” Robert said heavily.

“Robert, the worlds not ending because you’ve got a boyfriend instead of a wife,” Sarah said.

“It feels like it with the berating I’m getting on the phone,” Robert said. “I don’t know why it should matter and I know…” he hesitated, thinking how to word it.

“Don’t,” Sarah said.

“Dad wouldn’t have liked it,” Robert said, voice small. “Not like perfect Andy.”

“No, Jack wouldn’t,” Sarah said. “Old fashioned, and he never valued the son he had. He loved you, and I love you too.”

Aaron felt like he should leave, but he also knew that that would draw attention to himself and it was like the other two had forgotten he was even here in the first place. “Don’t live your life for him,” Sarah said. “I want you to be happy, and deep down Jack would have wanted the same, even if he was shit at showing it.” Robert smiled a little.

“Thanks,” Robert said, hugging her again. “You’ve met Aaron then?”

“Briefly,” she said, smiling at Aaron. “It’s good to meet you.” Aaron forced a smile.

* * *

Biting the bullet, Aaron checked social media, trying to find out what people were saying. First of all he had to dismiss about 3000 alerts from twitter (which he never used anyway, but had an account his PR handled) to instagram, that he did actually use occasionally. Not avidly, but he liked posting pictures every now and then. What he had noticed was he had about a hundred thousand more followers on instagram than he had before the photos had been published. Actually it was closer to 150,000. “Wow,” Aaron said to himself, folding his legs on the sofa as he scrolled.

The last picture he’d posted had been some behind the scenes shot of filming, no person actually in the picture, but it had so many comments on it. Thousands. _“Where’s the boyfriend?” “Not like the other pics online then!! ;)” “Want to see Robert!” “Wonder how long it’s been going on?” “When will he make a comment?”_ So many posts, far more than a stupid behind the scenes pic deserved. Out of interest, he clicked on Robert’s instagram, and hit follow without thinking too much about it. He hadn’t really had a lot of time lately to go online. Too busy with both work and Robert.

The last picture Robert had posted had been ten days ago, and it was super boring, a couple of sheep on the Dales. Aaron had no idea when he'd taken that. Again, that had far, far more likes and comments than it should do. There were a few homophobic remarks, but there weren’t many. A few asking what about Chrissie White? How does she fit into this, and was Aaron the reason for the divorce? Aaron couldn’t actually blame them for thinking that, he had come along very quickly after Robert’s divorce, even though there wasn’t a scrap of truth in it. That might come up again.

Shaking his head, Aaron searched on the news. A youtube clip of Aaron and Robert on the talk show had resurfaced, and people had cottoned on to that, asking if that was where they’d met. Aaron rewatched it, trying to think if he’d given himself away. He hadn’t. He’d looked at Robert as he talked, politely watched his singing performance, but there was nothing there to suggest that they were more than guests on the show. Aaron felt grateful for that.

He locked his phone, he didn’t need to see any more. “What’s the damage?” Robert asked, hovering by the doorway.

“Not bad,” Aaron said, shifting so Robert could sit next to him. “A few people are asking if I’m why you got divorced, but other than that…”

“You weren’t anything to do with that!”

“But they don’t know that, do they?” Aaron said. “You’re always going to get public interest in you.”

“I know.”

“I had a thought actually,” Aaron said. “How about we post a couple of photos?”

Robert huffed a laugh. “Are you serious?”

“Give everyone something to talk about that’s not us in the middle of sex,” Aaron said. “Your fans, the ones who aren’t crazy… they just want something to latch onto. It makes it less sordid, less… pornographic.”

Robert said nothing, but Aaron could see he was thinking about it. “Maybe you’ve got a point.” He dropped the subject though.

* * *

Curled up on the sofa together, Robert kept flicking around TV channels, trying to find something suitably innocuous to distract them. Robert’s hand slipped down Aaron’s back suggestively. “No,” Aaron said. “We’re not having sex.”

“Spoil sport,” Robert said easily.

“Not while your mums in the house,” Aaron said. “She already thinks that’s all I want you for, I don’t want her overhearing, and you’re not quiet.”

“She doesn’t think that,” Robert said softly.

“Even so,” Aaron said.

“Thank you,” Robert said.

“For what?”

“Staying with me,” Robert said. “Understanding. Not wanting me to be immediately okay with coming out.”

“I know that’s not how you’d have chosen to do it,” Aaron said. “I know it’s hard, even when you want to. I have been through it. It’s not the same, but you will get through it. Even if I’m not around, you will get through it.”

“Why wouldn’t you be around?” Robert asked confused, and slightly alarmed.

“You might dump me,” Aaron said, shrugging.

“I’m not going to do that,” Robert said. “You’re staying put.” Aaron smiled into Robert’s neck, planting a kiss there. “I’ve been meaning to ask, will you come down to London with me next week? Saturday.”

“Er… why?” Aaron asked.

“It’s the opening date of the tour,” Robert said. “The O2, and I’m so nervous given recent events.”

“Yes,” Aaron said, without thinking about it.

“You don’t have to check with filming…”

“They can’t film if I don‘t show up,” Aaron said fairly. “It’s a Saturday, I’ll make it work.”

“Thank you,” Robert said sincerely. “I’ll be all right when I get going, but it’s like… facing the public after they’ve all seen me naked and…”

“I’ll be there,” Aaron promised. Robert squeezed him tightly. “Don’t worry though. You’ve got a really fit body, all the comments are complimentary.” Robert huffed a laugh.

“I like it when you tell me I’m fit,” Robert said.

“Well, you’re feeling vulnerable, I can give you a compliment,” Aaron said, making Robert laugh.

“What did you think?” Robert asked. “The first time you saw me?”

“I thought… if you don’t want people staring at you, put a shirt on,” Aaron said. “I thought you were cold, arrogant, rude, and so gorgeous. I‘ll always think you‘re gorgeous, Rob.” Robert shifted so he could kiss Aaron deeply. 

“Keep this on,” Aaron said, nodding at the TV that had been largely ignored. “You’ll see me get decapitated in about twenty minutes.”

“What?!”

“I was a glorified extra in this,” Aaron said. “I die horribly.”

“Oh, I want to watch that,” Robert said, smiling. “I want to tell you something. If it’d been with Chrissie, or any woman that I’d been pictured with… I’d still be embarrassed, and so angry, outraged that my privacy had been violated like this.”

“I appreciate that,” Aaron said. “But it matters that I’m a man, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” Robert said. “I’ve never done this before, and in some ways I feel like a teenager, because… I’m usually so sure of myself, and with you I haven’t got a damn clue what I’m doing. So normally I’d know how to handle the press, but with you I don’t.”

“I would suggest taking it slow,” Aaron said. “But we’re crap at that.” Robert laughed. “I don’t want you to say anything,” Aaron said, not looking at him and watching the TV. “I’m really falling for you.” Robert had put all of himself out there in the public eye to keep their relationship theirs, Aaron felt it was only fair that he could be a little open.

Robert didn’t say anything, but his heart lurched. He knew what Aaron meant. It was happening way too fast, but yeah. He felt something too. He could get completely lost in Aaron if he let himself. He held Aaron close, arms tight around him and kissed the top of Aaron’s hair. “My scene's coming up.” He felt so grateful that Robert didn’t make a big deal of it.

In the end, Aaron posted a photo of Robert’s hand on the guitar, a close up that you couldn’t see anything else in it. Simple, easy. Robert posted a picture of Aaron in the kitchen, making toast. Nothing groundbreaking, just normal. To see what that did for the public mood.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter this time, but I want the next part to have it's own place, so that's why. Thank you so much for the encouragement and kudos and comments, they mean so much to me and it's absolutely the reason I've written so much this week!! <3 Enjoy!

Keeping his promise, Robert woke Aaron the next morning by giving him a squeeze, and a kiss into his shoulder, spooning behind him. “…mm?”

“Morning,” Robert said, Aaron smiled, all soft and free of worry as he curled into Robert’s arms. It felt good, felt right.

“Hi,” Aaron said, kissing his chest gently.

“I was going to make mum some breakfast,” Robert said. “But I said I’d wake you when I got up.” Honestly, he’d have done it for Aaron’s smile alone, he looked gorgeous. “Do you want me to cook something for you?”

“No,” Aaron said. “I have to go and see mum today, or she’ll come up here. I’ll get some breakfast with her.” He didn’t sound like he was looking forward to that.

“Sure?” Robert said. “I can cook.”

“I know you can,” Aaron said. “I remember. I need to see her, it’s only fair. I’ll be down after a shower, though.”

“Okay,” Robert said. He kissed Aaron again before grabbing some clothes and quickly dressing before padding down the stairs. Aaron felt content. He had that sense of belonging which was rare enough for him, and he loved that Robert had listened to him and woke him up. Robert’s kisses and warm body beat being faced with an empty bed any day of the week.

* * *

By the time Aaron got downstairs, the bacon almost made him rethink his need to see Chas. It smelt so good and Robert smirked over the frying pan, like he knew it. Aaron grabbed a piece of toast instead, nodding good morning to Sarah.

“Are you coming back tonight?”

“If you want me to,” Aaron said, and Robert smiled which Aaron took as a yes, and he smiled back.

“Are you not staying?” Sarah asked.

“No, I’m going down to the village,” Aaron said. “My mum owns the pub there, and I’ve been putting off talking to her, so…”

“Can you take John with you?” Robert asked.

“I don’t need a baby sitter,” Aaron said. He didn’t care how wise security might be, he didn’t like the feeling he was being watched.

“Please,” Robert said. “Just to get out of this place. I know there’s journalists at the top of the drive, probably looking for a few more photos, like they didn’t get a big enough eyeful the first time.

“Will it keep you happy?” Aaron asked, and Robert smiled like he’d won. “Fine, but I don’t need a shadow for the whole day, okay?”

“Agreed.” Aaron kissed Robert’s cheek in parting, and went to his car. It felt like weeks since he’d driven it here. John was happily waiting and Aaron rolled his eyes.

“I don’t do small talk,” Aaron said.

“Very good,” he said easily and sat in the passenger seat, having clearly got his orders from Robert. Aaron felt slightly pissed off that he was apparently that easy to talk around that Robert had already told John what was happening, before Aaron had so much as agreed. Aaron put the hood on his hoodie up, but otherwise didn’t do anything as he drove down into the village. There was a few photographers, nothing much actually, Aaron had expected far worse. 

Opening the door, he found Chas and Charity around the kitchen table in the backroom. He’d left John outside, he didn’t want an audience. Chas smiled at Aaron and hugged him tightly. “How’re you doing?”

“Okay,” Aaron said, and it was sort of true.

“I’ll say he’s doing okay,” Charity chipped in. “Landed the most eligible bachelor this side of the Atlantic!” Chas glared at her. “Just saying! Those pictures didn’t exactly leave a lot to the imagination.”

“Well, thanks for that,” Aaron said, going red. “In front of my mother, for Gods sake.”

“If you don’t want…”

“We didn’t know a photographer was outside, Charity,” Aaron said shortly.

“All right!” she said, holding her hands up in innocence.

“Do you mind giving us a minute?” Chas said with a fake smile and Charity took her coffee and left. “You could have told me you were seeing someone,” Chas said, a touch of a reprimand in her voice. “You didn’t have to tell me who, but…”

“I know,” Aaron said. “It was really casual… until it wasn’t. We never wanted it to come out this soon, especially not like this.”

“Of course you didn’t,” she said. “A warning would have helped.”

“I er… you slipped my mind,” Aaron said, and Chas looked indignant. “It’s not that I don’t care, but I knew… me being with a man isn’t a big thing for you. For Robert, it is, and I know that. I was focused on him.”

Chas scowled, but it was good natured, Aaron could tell. “It’s been a bit of… a full on few days.”

“I’m sure it has,” Chas said. “How’s Robert taking it?”

“Really well,” Aaron said. “He’s still thinking the worlds against him, but it’s better than I thought. I thought he’d push me away and shut down, but he hasn’t.” Chas nodded, listening.

“I’m sorry. I should have told you.”

“Yes,” Chas said. “You should.” Chas started tinkering around the kitchen, making Aaron some breakfast and a mug of tea, and he let her do it. “You like him then?” Chas said. “I knew the two of you were friendly, he kept hanging around.”

“Yeah, I like him,” Aaron said answering her question. “A lot.”

“Oh?” Chas asked. 

“Mm,” Aaron said. He wasn’t going to elaborate, let her read into it whatever she wanted.

* * *

 

Aaron wanted to check out his house, pick up his post, and John was happy enough to follow him. Distantly Aaron wondered how much Robert paid him, because he was always around, and always cheerful to do it. Keep an eye on someone else’s life. That wasn’t anything Aaron would have been able to cope with for his own job.

John had picked up a couple of sandwiches from the café, and sat at Aaron’s kitchen table. Aaron went upstairs, to double check, but the house was fine. He half wondered if a rabid journalist would have broken a window in, but it looked completely untouched since the last time he was here. Good.

He went to the fridge and threw a few things out that had gone out of date, but otherwise… he hadn’t needed to come here. But after focusing on Robert for the last few days, and the media, and his mother, and everything else… it felt good to be in his own space, his own house again. Really good.

“Yes boss?” Aaron watched John take a phone call, knowing it was Robert on the other end of the line. “Will do.” 

“You’ve gotta go?” Aaron said.

“As long as you’re okay on your own,” John said. Aaron smiled, and John mirrored it, having spent long enough around Aaron to know that having a watchful eye on him wasn’t his idea of a good time. When he was alone, Aaron stretched his body out on the sofa, relaxing. It wasn’t that he didn’t like spending time with Robert, he did. Of course he did, and he was really falling head over heels for him far quicker than he could even admit to himself. But even so it was nice to have a different change of clothes and be surrounded by his things for a little bit, rather than Roberts.

The door opened and Aaron jerked, realising he’d drifted off into a doze on the sofa. It’s Robert, and Aaron smiled at him without moving.

“Can you not get through a day without me?” Aaron teased.

“I can,” Robert said. “I don’t want to.” He locked the door decisively behind him, then pulled the blinds down and Aaron’s sleep filled brain caught on to what Robert was after.

“So… I won’t have sex when your mother can overhear us, so you decide we’ll have sex at mine instead?” Aaron said, amused.

“Yes,” Robert said. “Come on, does that sound like a bad plan?”

“No,” Aaron said. “Not a bad plan at all.” Robert looked around, checking for more windows, just in case, then came over to the sofa and straddled Aaron before kissing him soundly. Aaron hadn’t expected this, but now that Robert’s half laying on top of him, he could feel himself getting turned on. It felt like an age. It hadn't been, but a lot had happened over the last few days. Aaron twisted his head away, reaching for Robert’s jeans, but it wasn't where he wanted Aaron to touch. Instead, he grabbed Robert’s phone, switched it off, before doing the same with his own, and letting both of them hit the floor dully. Robert smiled at his thinking.

“I want to be on our own,” Aaron said. “No one else sticking their noses in where it’s not wanted. Just you and me.”

“I love that idea,” Robert agreed easily. For the first time in what felt like weeks, they were truly alone.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst is coming here, but as usual I promise the boys will be together whatever comes their way. Thank you for continuing to read this!

“Keys, keys,” Aaron said to himself, looking downstairs. It was stupidly early, he really should have gone to Manchester last night, but Robert hadn’t wanted him to leave, and after a bit of gentle persuasion, Aaron hadn’t wanted to either. Which meant Robert was now groggy from saying a last minute goodbye at six in the morning. “My car keys have to be here somewhere,” Aaron muttered. He’d driven up to Home Farm, they couldn’t be at the Mill after all.

"Looking for these?” Aaron looked up to see Sarah handing him his keys.

“You wanted to catch me this morning,” Aaron said, taking them.

“Yes,” Sarah said. “I did.”

They fell into silence. “I’ve got work,” Aaron said, trying to get the ball rolling. “If you’re trying to warn me off Robert, message received, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m not,” Sarah said. “Trying to warn you off him, I wouldn’t.”

“You didn’t seem… thrilled with me.”

“Aaron, I wasn’t thrilled about how it came out. I don’t want that for Robert.”

“You think I do?” Aaron said.

“Before I met you, I didn’t have a clue,” Sarah said. “It could have suited you fine for all I knew.”

“But now…?” Aaron asked.

“I know you wouldn’t have pressured him,” Sarah said. “I can see that. The way you are with him.”

“Well… I’m glad,” Aaron said. “I’m not after a quick bump in my career by being associated with him. That was never what this is.”

“The last I knew… Robert was in my place, miserable because he’d met this guy, and then flown back home and raced to me in a panic because he couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Aaron smirked at that, because it was good to have confirmation that Robert had been thinking about him all the time, even when he’d barely paused to get dressed after that night in Ibiza. “I didn’t know what to expect, and if I had, I wouldn’t have pictured you.”

“Great,” Aaron said dully. 

“I don’t mean that in a bad way,” Sarah said. “After Chrissie… I really don’t mean that negatively.”

“Okay,” Aaron said. “I’m going to be honest with you. I want you to like me, because you matter a lot to Robert, and I know how much he loves you. But I can’t fake it, I can’t be who you expect, or lie to try and make a good impression. I fake it for a living, I can’t do it in my private life. I am who I am, and it took years for me to be okay with that. So… like me or don’t.”

“I think I could quite like you,” Sarah said, smiling at him. Aaron smiled, taking that as a positive.

“I really have to go,” Aaron said. “I’m going to be late as it is.”

“Okay,” Sarah said, smiling at him. "I'll see you again," she promised, and Aaron took that as a very good thing.

* * *

Aaron walked into the dressing room with his head down, trying not to catch anyone's eye. What he hadn’t expected was Leyla to hug him the second she saw him, her hair in curlers and completely ignoring everyone else. 

“How are you?” she asked.

“I’m sick of that question,” Aaron said. “Just want to get on with work.”

“I’ve got donuts,” Leyla said, proffering him the food. “You won’t have eaten this morning, you need the sugar.” Aaron didn’t even have it in him to argue, so he took the donuts.

“Thank you.”

* * *

 

Unfortunately, the first scene to film was a bedroom scene. Wonderful. The good news was that Aaron was completely dressed (he didn’t think he could handle a sex scene right after the weekend he’d just had) and right now he’d take what he could get. It was more the production team, the extra glances he was getting, the fact that no one was talking to him, but Aaron felt damn sure they were talking about him.

“Relax,” Leyla said, adjusting her dressing gown for the scene. The scene in question was Leyla picking out an outfit for a dinner, while Aaron gave his opinion on her outfits. “They’re just jealous you actually have a sex life while they’re all hopelessly single.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s it,” Aaron said.

“They _are_ jealous that it’s Robert Sugden you’re with,” she said. “I can guarantee you that.” Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Right, shall we talk about the elephant in the room?” Aaron said to the set at large. Everyone looked at him. “Yes, I’m with Robert, no, that’s not how we planned on having it come out, no, I had nothing to do with his divorce, I hadn’t even met him until he was separated from her. I hate having my photo blasted everywhere, and I’m here to do a job, so shall we carry on with it rather than whispering behind your hands about me?”

Leyla couldn’t help but smile at him before running the scene and Aaron smiled back. Small, but it was there.

After the first scene, the mood on set relaxed. Apparently they all became comfortable that Aaron could still play a straight man. Like the weekend would have changed that, Aaron thought bitterly.

* * *

“I’ll be in the village until tonight,” Sarah said, saying her goodbyes. “I’m catching up with Vic, so call if you need anything…”

Robert nodded, grateful for her. It might have been awkward with Aaron, but Robert had needed her more than he‘d have been able to put into words. “Thanks for coming over.”

“Any time,” Sarah said.

“What do you think of Aaron?” he had to ask after all.

“He’s… not who I’d have picked for you,” Sarah said. “He’s younger than you, he’s sharp and blunt and to the point, and you are so happy with him.” That wasn’t what Robert expected and he looked at Sarah in surprise. “I overheard you with Aaron on the sofa last night. I wasn’t eavesdropping, I was getting a glass of water, and I heard you laughing with him. You’ve not laughed like that in years. Since you were a kid.”

“I feel myself with him,” Robert admitted. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Chrissie… I worried about you with her. Never could put my finger on why. I could be totally wrong, but I don’t get that feeling from Aaron,” Sarah said. Robert smiled.

“I’m glad,” Robert said. “I’ll see you when I’m in London at the weekend.”

“Is Aaron coming?”

“Yes,” Robert said warmly. “Bye mum.” He hugged her goodbye, knowing he’d miss her.

* * *

 

“You taste like lipstick,” Robert said, after a hello kiss from Aaron after a long day.

Aaron frowned, putting his fingers to his lips. “Leyla. I haven’t had a shower, I wanted to get home.”

“Oh,” Robert said.

“Is that a problem?” Aaron said after a beat of silence.

“No,” Robert said, but he didn’t seem convinced. “No,” he said more firmly.

“Robert, it’s my job,” Aaron said. It had been a tiring day and he didn’t fancy this conversation but it looked like he was going to get it anyway. 

“I know you don’t want her, I know you’re gay,” Robert said. “I know.”

“But…” Aaron sighed. “What if my co-star was a guy? Would that be a problem?”

Robert didn’t say anything and Aaron felt his heart sink. “I’m not going to cheat on you, Robert,” he said. “Have I given you any sign that I would?”

“No,” Robert said. “Of course not.”

“But?”

“I don’t like the thought of you kissing someone else,” Robert said and Aaron shook his head in disbelief. “I know it’s a job, but come on, you wouldn’t like it either if it were me.”

Aaron tried to keep his temper in check, privately admitting Robert might have a point. No, he wouldn’t like it if Robert were kissing someone else. “No,” Aaron said. “I wouldn’t. But I’d understand. I’m not with her because I want to be. Are you…” Aaron shook his head. “I will probably get a male co star at some point, especially given how high profile last week made us. What then?”

“Sorry,” Robert said. “I shouldn’t have started this.”

“That doesn’t answer the question,” Aaron said.

“I trust you,” Robert said after a heavy silence. Aaron looked at him and saw that maybe he did, and he nodded.

“I’ll talk it through,” Aaron said. “Before taking a job, if it’d make you feel better…” 

“No,” Robert said. “You don’t have to do that.” Aaron moved to kiss him again and Robert let him, small and perfunctory.

“All right, I’ll have a shower,” Aaron said, getting the hint. “You order dinner? A takeaway sounds good.”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “What do you fancy?”

“Chinese?” Robert picked up his phone and Aaron smiled.

* * *

“My mum liked you,” Robert said when they were halfway through their dinner, Aaron wet from the shower, wrapped in Robert’s dressing gown. They should really bring some of Aaron’s things here. Then Robert shook his head at the thought, because that was far too premature.

“Did she?” Aaron said. “I’m surprised. Making a good impression on parents has never been my strong suit.”

“No, she did,” Robert said. “I er… I’m not going to be here from tomorrow. The tour.” Aaron listened as Robert described setting up the tour, set lists, a lot of behind the scenes work he had to do before the show opened on Saturday. “So I’m not going to be here for a while.”

Aaron caught the sadness in his voice. "I thought you liked touring."

"I did," Robert said. "No, I do. It's just... I've really enjoyed it being just us here. Locked away from the world for a bit. It's been... nice. Even with the journalists."

Aaron knew what he meant, it had been nice. He reached across and laced their fingers together, holding hands gently. "You'll be brilliant," Aaron said. "I cant follow you across the country while you're touring. I have a job, I have to be filming."

"I know," Robert said. "I'm not asking you to, either. But I will miss this. Getting completely lost in you." It might have sounded cheesy, but Robert's eyes were warm, sincere and Aaron could tell he meant it.

“I’ll come down to London on Saturday morning,” Aaron said. “If that’s okay with you?”

“Yes,” Robert said. “I need you.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else," Aaron promised.

 


	22. Chapter 22

Aaron hadn’t felt this kind of nervous energy since he took his first major acting job. And even then, it was a muted kind of audience. Because yes, a million viewers might be watching, but they weren’t watching him in real time, live. God knows how Robert felt, it would be so much worse for him. But then, didn’t he thrive off of it? All Aaron could think about on the drive down to London was how people would react, Robert’s first audience since he was outed. It was a big thing, even if they’d like to pretend it wasn’t.

His mind was still running through possibilities of what might happen, when he parked in the hotels private parking, grabbing his bag and going into the lobby. At the reception desk, he asked for Robert’s room number and got completely blanked by the receptionist. Her entire attitude was “nice try.” Aaron didn’t move, wasn’t going to give up his ground, instead calling Robert’s mobile.

“Aaron…” Robert said, lazy and sleepy. 

“Hi,” Aaron said. “I’m in your hotel lobby, and the receptionist won’t give me your room number, so…”

“701,” Robert said, sighing. “Hold on a minute and I’ll call down. Get them to give you a key.”

“Thanks,” Aaron said, hanging up and grinning at the receptionist, who blanched when the phone rang. She sorted out Aaron a key remarkably quickly after that, and asked if he’d like some breakfast sent up to the room. Aaron took her up on that offer, that sounded good. He’d not seen Robert in four days, and a lazy morning in hotel bed sheets with a breakfast neither of them had to cook? Sounded like a plan to him.

“Thank you,” Aaron said with a smug grin as the woman handed him a card key. It didn’t take long for him to find Robert’s room, which seemed to take up most of the top floor of the hotel. Unlocking the door, Aaron’s eyebrows rose as he saw floor to ceiling windows, overlooking London. What a view! Dumping his bag, he opened a couple of doors until he found the bedroom. Robert’s hair was going in about twenty different directions, the white bed sheets clinging to his body and in danger of falling off completely, and Aaron knew he’d be naked underneath.

He toed his shoes off, removed his hoodie, then pulled himself into the bed. Robert was all long limbs as he curled around him and Aaron breathed easier with Robert like this. He’d missed him.

“Morning,” Robert said, kissing into Aaron’s neck. 

“Lazy,” Aaron said. “You getting a lay in like this.”

“Had a fan meet and greet last night,” Robert said. “Competition winners mostly. I deserve a rest.”

“How did it go?” Aaron asked. He hadn’t known about this, and ever since they’d been exposed in the press, Robert was nervous about the fan reaction.

“Really well,” Robert said. “It was good. To know some things haven’t changed. It was… exactly how it used to be.”

“I’m really pleased for you,” Aaron said honestly. Robert’s hands started scrambling to get under Aaron’s clothes.

“One track mind?”

“Yep,” Robert said with no shame. “I want you.” He pushed his hand against the front of Aaron’s jeans, making Aaron moan. “Seems like you want me too.”

“You confident arrogant shit,” Aaron said and Robert laughed. “Wait, actually. We’ve got breakfast coming. I’m not going to give room service a floor show.”

“Fine,” Robert said. “But I’m having you afterwards.”

* * *

 

Aaron felt very grateful for the tinted windows as he and Robert were driven to the O2. No one could see in, and no one could photograph them as Robert gripped Aaron’s hand.

“You’re nervous,” Aaron said.

“Yes,” Robert admitted.

“It will be fine,” Aaron said. “You’re not going into a political rally, your fans adore you.”

“Mm,” Robert said, nodding tightly.

“If they’re not happy with you being bisexual, they won’t show up,” Aaron said.

“You think they won’t show?” Robert said after a moment.

“Of course they will,” Aaron said. “I meant… if there’s a few trouble makers they won’t go through the effort.”

“Okay,” Robert said. “Thanks for coming.”

“I wouldn’t let you do this on your own,” Aaron said.

* * *

 

Behind the scenes, Robert barely had time to look at Aaron. He kept being accosted by backing musicians, support act, managers, absolutely all the people who were involved in putting the show together, and (unfortunately) a heightened security presence. Just in case.

Aaron sat in Roberts dressing room for most of the afternoon, until Robert was finished, and they ordered some food. Robert’s face was tight with tension. “There’s already queues outside, waiting for the doors to open,” Aaron said. He knew that, someone had mentioned it to him. Someone he dimly recognised, but not enough to know the name of. The people Robert surrounded himself with were becoming familiar to Aaron now. Faces, if not names.

“I know,” Robert said. “I’m just… oh, I don’t know. I’ve done this so many times before.”

“How does it feel normally?”

“Normally?” Robert said. “I’m nervous, I always am because I’m expected to perform well and it‘s a show. But it’s usually an excited kind of nervous. It’s a buzz.”

“You’re not feeling that now?”

“No,” Robert said. “I’m sorry, I know I’m not great company right now.”

“That’s not why I’m here,” Aaron said. Robert leaned towards him for a kiss, and Aaron smiled into it. They ate quietly, and all the time they could hear the volume kicking up from the arena. Something in Aaron relaxed. People would still come and see Robert. He’d never thought they wouldn’t but it’s nice to have it confirmed. Clearly Robert could hear the swell of noise.

“You’ll be great,” Aaron said. “The fact you like men… it doesn’t change how good you are at your job.”

“I know,” Robert said. “Can you… watch from backstage? In case I have a wobble over something?”

“Yeah, of course,” Aaron said. Robert fell silent as stage time came nearer, getting in the right headspace as he put on his leather jacket and checked his guitar was all in order. Aaron knew better than to talk to him right now.

* * *

It was to a fever pitch wall of sound that Robert walked on stage, Aaron biting his bottom lip hard, as he waited for Robert to get going, the cheers so loud you could feel the vibrations.

After the first song, Aaron relaxed. Robert was going to be all right. He’d never been to one of Robert’s concerts before, but the crowd was really involved, and Robert cracked a couple of smiles even before the song finished. It was going to be okay. Aaron hadn’t really doubted it, but it was good to have it confirmed, and he knew it meant a lot to Robert. He’d been so worried.

“You staying there all night?” he heard a shout behind him as Robert started playing the opening notes to “Future wishes,” fingers almost blurring on the guitar.

“Yeah,” Aaron said, seeing a woman in her late twenties, violently purple hair and a tour shirt on. Aaron had seen her around when they were setting up this afternoon.

“Fleur,” she said, giving her name. “I’ve been working on Robert’s tours for years.” There was something familiar about the way she said it, the way she said his name that had Aaron narrowing his eyes.

“Oh?” he asked, studying her.

“Oh, relax,” she said. “Look at him, the mans gorgeous! Can’t blame a girl for trying can you? Or a guy, as it turns out.” Her sly smile made Aaron roll his eyes.

“You slept with him?”

“Yeah,” she said easily. “I don’t know… four years ago maybe? Don’t worry, I’m not competition!”

Aaron felt a flare of jealousy which he tried to stomp down. Four years ago? Hardly like he could be jealous over that. “Aaron, I’m happily married,” she said, holding up her left hand to show a ring. “God, you’re jealous!”

“You’re nosey,” Aaron said firmly.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going after your man. Doing a tour’s hard work. It just happened one night, that’s all.”

“Mm,” Aaron said darkly, though it couldn’t be heard over the thrum of music.

“God, you’re in love with him!” she squealed.

“Mind your own business,” Aaron said, patience worn out. Robert looked to him and smiled, and Aaron smiled back. Robert was doing so well.

“Don’t let him go,” she said. Aaron ignored her. He didn’t need her advice. But she was right about one thing. He was completely gone for Robert, and it was too late to even try and let him go. Not that he’d ever want to.

* * *

 

Robert came off stage, completely wired from the audience reaction, and he found Aaron waiting for him, beaming. “You watched the whole lot?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said softly. “You were amazing and…” Aaron didn’t get to finish, because Robert kissed him hard, pushing him against the nearest wall he could get to, pressing their bodies close together. Robert was incredibly handsy, touching him everywhere, and Aaron could almost feel the adrenaline running through him. God, the sex tonight was going to be incredible.

“Wanna get out of here?” Aaron said breathlessly, trying not to get carried away.

“Got to do the encore first.” It was like someone had flicked a switch in Aaron’s brain, and he suddenly heard the audience noise, where before he’d simply been occupied with Robert filling all of his senses.

“Right, yeah,” Aaron said, licking his lips. Robert laughed, before he was being ushered onto the stage as Aaron watched him. He lit up the room, he always did.

The stage hand was right. Aaron did love him. That thought wasn’t as scary as it probably should have been.

* * *

 

Robert’s fingers traced along Aaron’s arm slowly, trying to entice him to stay. “I can’t, you know I can’t,” Aaron said, chucking his things into his overnight bag. “I have to be at work in the morning.”

“Spoilsport,” Robert said, still tangled in the bed sheets. He looked good, and he knew it, Aaron thought, rolling his eyes. Robert was definitely trying to tempt Aaron back into bed.

“You’ve got to be at the arena in… forty minutes,” Aaron said, looking at the clock. “You won’t miss me.”

“I will miss you,” Robert said. “You know I will.” Aaron bent over the bed and kissed him goodbye.

“Text me,” Aaron said, and Robert smiled.

“I wouldn’t have got through last night without you,” Robert said.

“Yeah, you would.”

“I needed you,” Robert said. “I’m very glad you were there.” Aaron kissed him once more before leaving, and getting his car. He didn’t want to leave, but he had to. Duty calls.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, the start of angsty stuff!
> 
> General warnings for Gordon stuff here. I've kept what happened in canon, but I've changed the timeline to suit this story, so I know it's not exactly in the order we have on screen! I hope it makes sense though!

Robert hadn’t heard from Aaron for three days. That was when he started getting worried. They both had manic and different schedules, so not talking to each other for a couple of days didn’t instantly strike an alarm bell. But by the third day, Robert knew this wasn’t normal.

“I need a driver to get me back home,” Robert said to his assistant after the show.

“You’re meant to be going to…”

“I don’t care,” Robert said. “I need to go home. I’ve got a day off tomorrow, there’s no show, and then I’ll be wherever I’m supposed to be, but I need to go.”

“I’ll get it sorted.”

Within ten minutes, Robert was in the back of a black car, heading towards Emmerdale. He didn’t even know if Aaron was at home, but it felt like the most logical place to start looking for him. Maybe Robert was completely overreacting but ever since they’d decided to give it a go, they hadn’t gone a day without at least a text message. Even if it was a stupid one complaining about work. So this lack of contact was worrying. Robert sent Aaron a text anyway, even though it was late at night, and he didn’t expect a reply. He also scoured the news on his phone, thinking that if Aaron had died suddenly, it would probably pop up somewhere, but nothing. Was that reassuring?

* * *

“Here’s fine,” Robert said, at the top of the road that led to the Mill.

“Do you want me to hang around?” the driver asked warily. “It’s three in the morning…”

“No,” Robert said. “I’ll be fine, this is home.” He shut the door, realising he had nothing but his phone and his wallet with him. He didn’t even have his keys, not that he had a key to Aaron’s place yet. Could he suggest that? Or was it too soon? He walked to the Mill and tried the door. It was unlocked. Fear and unease crept up his spine as he pushed the door open. “Aaron?”

Nothing. No lights were on, but then… he’d probably be in bed. Robert switched the light on, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Aaron stretched on the sofa, a bedraggled blanket over him and frowning at the brightness and groaning. The second thing he noticed was that Aaron had been crying. His face was red and puffy, and he looked in a right state.

“What…?” Aaron asked. 

“Sorry,” Robert said, switching the main light off, and turning on a lamp instead. “I didn’t know… why aren’t you in bed?”

“Don’t wanna be,” Aaron mumbled. “Why’re you here? Aren‘t you… Sheffield or Edinburgh or somewhere?”

“I’ve not heard from you in a few days,” Robert said. “I was worried.” Looking at Aaron now increased his concerns, rather than reduced them. He looked terrible.

“How did you get in?” Aaron asked.

“You hadn’t locked the door,” Robert said simply.

“What?!” Aaron snapped, eyes darting around. 

“I’ll lock it,” Robert said, going to turn the key. He did, then took his jacket off. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Pull the other one,” Robert said. Then, very reluctantly, “Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“…no…” Robert felt relieved. He hadn’t wanted to leave Aaron in this state, but he would have if Aaron asked him to.

“What’s wrong?” Robert repeated.

Aaron sighed heavily and shifted on the sofa, but didn’t get up. “Letter. Kitchen table.” Robert went and got it, but didn’t read it.

“Can I touch you?” Aaron nodded and after a bit of shifting, they ended up with Robert lying on the sofa, Aaron lying on top of him, head resting on Robert’s chest and their legs entwined. Robert could feel just how tense Aaron was, coiled like a spring waiting to go off.

“What’s wrong, Aaron?” he asked again. “Is it me?”

“No,” Aaron said very quickly which lessened some of Robert‘s anxiety. “Not you. Read the letter.”

Robert rested one hand in Aaron’s hair while he unfolded it. Some words jumped out at him as he scanned it, wanting to know what on earth had made Aaron act like this. _Gordon Livesy. Leeds prison. Parole. Restraining order._ Then he read the whole thing through.

“He’s being released from prison,” Aaron said quietly. “I can’t cope with it. I can’t… knowing that he’s out there…”

“Okay,” Robert said, dropping the letter to the floor and holding Aaron. He had no idea what to do here. Robert knew enough to know that there were gaps in his knowledge of Aaron’s father. But then… if Aaron wanted him to know everything, he’d have told him. Right?

“I knew it was coming,” Aaron said. “I knew he wouldn’t be in prison forever. That I’d have to… eventually deal with him again, but I’m not ready for it.”

“Okay,” Robert said again. He had no idea what to say, to comfort him. If his father… Gordon was coming up for parole, there wasn’t much he could do to reassure Aaron. Especially not knowing all the details. “You don’t have to talk about it,” Robert said. “If you don’t want to, I’m not going to push you. We’ll get through it though. I promise.”

“I want to tell you,” Aaron said into the silence. “I want to tell you all of it, but I’m afraid that if I start, you won’t let me finish.”

“I’ll be quiet,” Robert said, and he could almost feel the eye roll from Aaron. "Promise."

“My dad… he raped me.” Robert froze completely. Whatever he’d expected, it wasn’t that. “Don’t stop, that was nice.” Robert realised that the fingers threading through Aaron’s hair had gone immobile, and it took him a few seconds to work out the coordination to get them moving again. But he did, and Aaron carried on talking.

“It happened a few times,” Aaron said. “I was… I really don’t want to go into detail about it. I can’t, Rob.”

“Okay,” he said quietly, wondering what other horrors Aaron was going to reveal. Right now it wasn’t important that Robert reacted, Aaron couldn’t see his face like this anyway. What was important was listening, and Robert knew that.

“I was eight. The first time it happened and…” Aaron’s voice wobbled. “I didn’t even understand what was happening. It’s why I was such a messed up angry kid. It wasn’t all the time, it wasn’t a regular thing, and afterwards he’d just pretend like it hadn’t happened. It’d be so long, so many months that I half thought I’d imagined it. Then it would happen again, and I’d know I hadn’t.” Aaron sobbed into Robert’s shirt, trying to pull himself together. Robert didn’t say a word, simply stroked his hair. He had a feeling Aaron hadn’t finished.

“I think… when I was fifteen, that was the worst. Because I knew exactly what was happening, and I felt like I should have been able to fight him off. But I couldn’t and…”

“It’s not your fault,” Robert said, unable to stay quiet, even though Aaron had asked him to. “You were a kid, it’s not your fault.”

“Anyway,” Aaron said thickly, and even if Robert didn’t have a damp patch of his shirt from Aaron’s tears, he’d be able to hear the crying in his voice. “I got picked up at sixteen for that role in that teen thing I told you about. They saw me and liked the look of me, and I worked damn hard to keep that job. As soon as I possibly could, I took the money from that job and went to find my mum. I thought she might turn me away, but she didn’t. It wouldn’t have mattered if she had, I couldn’t stay with him. I'd have rather been homeless.” Aaron sniffed. “I didn’t tell anyone what happened. I wanted to forget it, like it was someone else’s life. Which worked out pretty well for me, until my parents got back together.”

“Oh, God,” Robert said.

“It meant… Gordon was back in my life. I was eighteen, he was my mum and I was seeing him everyday. At the same time I realised I was probably gay. Sleeping with women didn’t do it for me, and I liked boys. Which sent me into a spiral, because I didn’t want to be gay and I thought maybe he’d… done this to me.”

“You’re not gay because…”

“I know,” Aaron said. “I’m very happy with being attracted to men now, but then? It was like I was trapped in a nightmare. And that’s when I cut my wrist. I didn’t mean for it to be so deep, and I didn’t know it was a serious problem. I collapsed, and my mum found me, carting me off to hospital. When I came around from the blood poisoning, I told her everything. It was so hard to tell her, but once I got going I couldn’t stop.”

“She…”

“Of course she believed me,” Aaron said. “It got very messy with me coming out at the same time, and everything snowballing, but eventually… I went to the police, and reported him. It took months, but it went to trial. At nineteen, standing up in front of a room full of strangers, describing what he did to me for years… that’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I didn’t even think I’d make it through it.”

“But you did…”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “He got sentenced to eight years. So... he’s getting out early, but… I tried to move on with my life. Was doing a damn fine job of it until that letter. I knew he’d come out of prison one day, I’m not an idiot, I just wasn’t expecting it now and it completely threw me.”

“It says… restraining order,” Robert said hesitantly.

“Yeah, but there’s no guarantee he’ll stick to it,” Aaron said. “The fact that he can just show up at any point… it’ll drive me mad.” Robert had nothing to say to that. “I’m scared, because he’ll come after me. I know he will. If I’d never talked, he’d never have ended up in prison, he’d never have been put on the sex offenders register, I was the only one who gave evidence…”

“It’s not your fault,” Robert said firmly. “If he hadn’t attacked you, then he wouldn’t have ended up in prison. Not the other way around.”

Aaron shuffled up Robert’s body, tucking his head underneath Robert’s and clutching him close. He needed to be touching Robert after being so incredibly vulnerable and feeling so pathetic while recounting a story that only left him as a victim. Or that’s how he felt anyway. He felt exhausted after having told Robert everything and he drifted off to sleep in Robert’s arms.

Robert meanwhile was running everything Aaron had told him through his mind, trying to slot things into place with that new, devastating information. How did he find the strength to carry on each day, pretend that everything’s fine? God, Robert had had no idea. He’d thought that maybe… he assumed Gordon had been particularly violent with Aaron, but this? He also felt very aware of how they were currently touching, lying together. _Don’t be stupid, this is fine_. Aaron’s quite a touchy feely person, he never showed any inclination that he didn’t like snuggling in bed. Even if they were technically on the sofa.

Robert felt completely horrified. Aaron had been through so much. How did he ever let himself be touched? How had he managed to pull some semblance of a life together after being abused like that? He didn’t sleep. He wanted Aaron to know he was safe if he woke up in the middle of the night, while he thought over every single thing Aaron had told him.


	24. Chapter 24

About twenty minutes before he properly woke up, Aaron rolled over and gave Robert a brief kiss, which made Robert smile. He felt knackered and certainly not at his best for the lack of sleep, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way. Robert had been scrolling on his phone for most of the night, making some professional excuses, and leaving messages for where he was supposed to be. They’d manage without him, they’d have to. He also bookmarked a few pages he’d found on recovery after sexual assault. Some of it looked like trash, but then some of it looked interesting.

He could feel it when Aaron properly started to surface from sleep, because the tension started filling him, and he’d gone really stiff. Robert dropped his arms from Aaron instantly and Aaron got up, getting some distance between them both. Breaking Robert’s heart in the process. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Aaron said quietly.

“No,” Robert said, looking at him. Aaron looked like he wanted to be anywhere else, for the ground to open up and swallow him. “Are we going to talk?”

“No,” Aaron said. “I shouldn’t have said that last night. I was under pressure because of his parole date, and…”

“Aaron,” Robert said quietly. “I’m not going anywhere. Nothing you said last night changes how I feel about you.”

“Of course it does,” Aaron said. “Just go, Robert. Take your chance to run and get away from me.”

“Calm down,” Robert said, instantly regretting it by the flinch on Aaron’s face. “It won’t change anything about us.”

“How can it not change us, though?” Aaron asked. “It will, I know it will. Just go, get it over with.”

“Why do you think I want to leave?” Robert asked. “That’s the last thing I want!”

Aaron’s entire attitude read “don't get near me” and Robert wondered if he’d got a bad reaction after confiding in someone else. A previous boyfriend perhaps?

“Have you ever told anyone you were seeing that…”

“No,” Aaron said, knowing where he was going. “No, you’re the first person I’ve been with, that I’ve told.”

“Then how do you know it’ll change?” Robert said.

“You’re standing six feet away from me,” Aaron said almost with a snarl. “I think that’s pretty clear already.” His body language clearly wanted to run from Robert.

“That’s not fair,” Robert said. “I stayed up all night to be with you, in case you had a nightmare, or something happened, or you wanted to talk. I don’t deserve that. I don’t want to crowd you!”

“You’ll leave anyway,” Aaron said. “Just do it. I don’t want you to hang on just so after a reasonable amount of time you can break up with me because of this.”

“That’s crazy!” Robert said. “If we do eventually split up, it will not be anything to do with this!” Aaron didn’t look convinced. “Do you honestly think that little of me?”

“…No…” Aaron said, though it was clear he didn’t believe him.

Robert sighed heavily. “Do you want to be on your own?” He didn’t answer, but Robert could sense that’s what Aaron wanted. Feeling vulnerable and exposed after the night before. “Right, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m exhausted, I’m going to the café and I’ll have a coffee. By the time I’ve finished that, I’ll order a couple of bacon sandwiches to take away and I’ll come back here. If you still want me to leave, I’ll go. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want, but I think you’re pushing me away because you’re scared I’m going to run. I’m not running, Aaron.” Aaron didn’t say anything, but he didn’t move away either, so he’d definitely heard him. He wasn’t sure about the wisdom of leaving Aaron alone, but on the other hand after telling him about the abuse he’d suffered, ignoring Aaron’s wishes wasn’t high on his list of priorities either.

“Fine,” Aaron said. “Brown sauce on mine.”

“A shower wouldn’t hurt either,” Robert gently suggested, trying to smile at Aaron, which he didn’t exactly return. “I’ll be back in half an hour.” Robert turned and left, even though he didn’t want to, but he knew Aaron needed space, he could sense it.

* * *

As soon as Aaron was alone, he took in several deep breaths. He should never have told Robert that. He didn’t want to be treated differently, or like he would break, and he just knew that was what was going to happen. He needed to have pulled himself together before Robert showed up. Not sob the whole sorry story into his arms in the middle of the night.

One piece of advice he was going to take though, he was going to have a shower. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d properly eaten or washed, or just generally taken care of himself, and he needed to. Sitting around wallowing over it wouldn’t keep Gordon in prison after all. And he had to get through this on his own. 

His mind started arguing with itself while he washed his hair in the shower. _Robert won’t come back. He might. He won’t. You picked the one man who could literally have anyone he wanted on the entire planet. What on earth is he going to want with you? But he does want you. Did. He did want you. Now he’s going to see you as a victim or dirty and used and disgusting. Robert wouldn’t think that, Robert’s always been kind with me. He used to be. What’s he going to want with you now? But he stayed all night with me. Oh, that’s just so he doesn’t feel guilty about abandoning the pathetic rape victim at three in the morning. He might not want me, but he’s not an arsehole. He didn’t let you kick him out this morning though. It doesn’t matter because he won’t come back. Probably halfway in a taxi back to London or wherever his tour is by now. He won’t come back. He might. You know Robert, he cares for you. But now he sort of has to doesn’t he? It’s why you didn’t tell him._

Aaron felt super close to banging his head against the wall of the shower, his mind running so fast.

* * *

 

“A coffee please, Bob,” Robert said, sinking into one of the comfy chairs with pleasure.

“Oh, I thought you were off touring the world!” Bob said pleasantly. The café was empty, which meant Robert felt more at ease.

“Day off,” Robert said. “Thought I’d come back and check on the house.”

“See the boyfriend, you mean,” Bob said, but there was no malice there. “People talk.”

“Don’t they just,” Robert said darkly. He thanked Bob for the coffee and closed his eyes to make it clear he didn’t want a chat. The people of the village were getting used to having him around, but he still got a few double takes when customers came in. He felt so bone tired. He didn’t want to argue with Aaron, he just wanted to be there for him. Aaron pushing him away… he didn’t want that. Aaron must trust him, to tell him about Gordon in the first place. So why now, in the cold light of day was Aaron pretending he meant nothing to him?

He loved him. Robert knew that now. He could feel it, but he felt like he couldn’t say it, because Aaron would think it was only because of the horrendous truth he’d told him. It wasn’t, it had nothing to do with that. But God, Robert’s heart ached for him. He’d been through so much.

Robert made a conscious effort to take his time with his coffee, waking up from the caffeine. He didn’t want to rush Aaron, or make it feel like he was encroaching on Aaron’s personal space. 

Draining his lukewarm coffee, Robert ordered two bacon sandwiches to go, and two coffees. He added sugar to Aaron’s before leaving, and knocking on the Mills door.

“You came back,” Aaron said, bewildered. His hair was wet, and he looked more alert than he had since Robert had found him crying on the sofa the night before.

“I told you I would,” Robert said. “That ones yours,” he added, passing Aaron his breakfast as they sat next to each other at the kitchen table.

“I thought…”

“I’m not running out on you. I have to go tomorrow, but that’s for work. Personally, I’m here for you," Robert said.

“I can’t…” Aaron took a large bite of his sandwich, thinking about how to word it. “I need you to touch me,” he said. Robert listened carefully. “I can’t have you treating me like I’m going to break or keeping me at arms length. I still like sex, this doesn’t change that. If you’re not going to bother then…”

“Okay,” Robert said. Aaron stared at him blankly and Robert smiled. “I enjoy sex with you quite a bit too.” Aaron looked at him, then smiled. A small, genuine, honest smile.

“Go on, say something,” Aaron said. “I can tell you’re dying to.”

“I’m proud of you,” Robert said quietly.

“Don’t.” Aaron said sharply.

“I am,” Robert said. “Making sure that monster got sent to prison?? When you were so young? I can’t even imagine it.”

“I didn’t think… I thought he’d get away with it, and I’d left it too long. There wasn’t any physical evidence and…” he sighed. “It doesn’t matter now, I suppose.”

“I er… wanted to make a suggestion,” Robert said, very hesitantly. Aaron reached for him, a hand on his thigh and squeezed reassuringly, so Robert carried on. “It’s terrible that he’s coming up for parole, it really is. But you have options. We're really well off financially, we could pay for extra security for you, or pay someone to keep an eye on Gordon once he’s released, making sure he’s abiding by the restraining order. We can do a few things to keep you safe.” Aaron leaned across and kissed him. “What was that for?”

“You said we,” Aaron said quietly.

“Well, yeah,” Robert said obviously. Aaron smiled at him. 

“Can we just… not talk about him today? I’ve had enough.”

“Okay,” Robert agreed. “But I’m here whenever you need to. Even if I’m not actually here, you can call me whenever, and unless I’m actually on stage, I’ll drop anything I'm doing and listen.”

“Thank you,” Aaron said, kissing him again.

“Right, I wanted to talk to you about those tickets you have for Manchester with your mum,” Robert said, doing what Aaron said and changing the subject.

“No,” Aaron said firmly. They’d been over this.

“I can get you and her VIP tickets,” Robert said.

“But I bought her these,” Aaron said. “I want to go with her, I don’t want preferential treatment just because…”

“Come on, if I can’t spoil my boyfriend at the same time as getting a good word in with his mother, what’s the point?” Robert said.

“It was a birthday gift,” Aaron said. “We’re having the seats I bought.”

“Fine,” Robert said. “But I’m still going to reserve you front row seats in case you change your mind.”

“I won’t change my mind,” Aaron said.

“God, you’re stubborn,” Robert said. “It’d take me one phone call.”

"I am stubborn," Aaron agreed. "Just let me have a nice normal night out with my mum." Robert rolled his eyes, but said nothing, which Aaron took as a win.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story is winding down to an end!! I could keep it going, but I don't think I want to. My aim was to try and tell a story about Robert being so nervous to be with a man publicly, and I think I've done that. Maybe a couple of chapters left!! Thank you for reading so far!!

They spent the day quietly. Playing Aaron’s video games, listening to Robert’s music (and the competition) and a phone call from Leyla that had Aaron smiling. Nothing difficult, nothing taxing, it’s easy. It was exactly what Aaron needed. 

That night, they got into bed together, and things definitely had an awkward air. “I want to meet Leyla,” Robert said, firstly because it was true, and also to stop the conversation drifting onto Gordon, when it had been clear Aaron didn’t want to talk about him.

“Why?” Aaron asked.

“She’s your friend,” Robert said.

“She’s a colleague,” Aaron said.

“Oh, come on,” Robert said. “You’re telling me that once filmings wrapped up, you’re never going to talk to her again?”

“Well… no,” Aaron said. “All right. But she’s a bit… full on. And a flirt.”

“I can handle myself,” Robert said. “I er… I’ve been being nagged by my management. They want me and you to do a joint interview. Change the public opinion away from naked photos. I know right now isn’t the best time to mention it.”

“Mine’ve been on at me too,” Aaron said, sighing. “We’re going to have to do it.”

“I know,” Robert said. “I don’t mind doing an interview with you. Do you…”

“Maybe,” Aaron said. “When I’m… calmer.” When Gordon wasn’t as fresh in his mind, Robert knew that was what he meant.

“We’ve got a friendly journalist on the books. If you agree…”

“I don’t care who we get,” Aaron said. “Publicly, it can’t get much worse can it?”

“There is that,” Robert agreed. He snuggled into Aaron’s shoulder, nose pressed into his chest. “You smell good,” he said as Aarons fingers tugged his hair lightly. Under most circumstances one of them would initiate sex, but neither of them did tonight. That didn’t stop them curling up together as they went to sleep.

* * *

Robert woke up half hard and nudging against Aaron’s arse. But he also couldn’t think of how to extricate himself without it waking Aaron and being obvious.

“Don’t move.” Aaron sounded alert, like he’d been awake for a while.

“You okay?” Robert asked lightly, trying not to make it a big deal.

“Mm,” Aaron said. Robert kissed the back of his neck and his hand crept over Aaron’s waist. “Yeah, I’m good,” Aaron said, answering the unasked question. Robert pressed his palm against Aaron, squeezing gently. “Oh…” Aaron kept rocking his hips, trying to get more stimulation. Quiet moans were a good thing for Robert to wake up to.

Robert stopped, only to pull Aaron’s underwear down and out of the way, Aaron fumbling to help him. He knew what Aaron liked by now, and he didn’t want to draw it out, all he wanted was for Aaron to feel good, especially after this week. “Rob… oh… come on.” Strokes and groaning and soon enough, Aaron came, all over Robert’s fist, hips pumping towards him, riding his orgasm out. Robert wiped his hand on the sheets, Aaron still moaning quietly.

“Oh, Christ,” Aaron panted, trying to get his breath back. “That felt really good,” he whispered, turning back to kiss Robert gently. His hands ran over Robert’s body, going south. For a moment Robert considered being polite and saying he didn’t need anything but Aaron’s hands on him made him reconsider. Within moments, or what felt like, Aaron’s mouth was sinking down onto him, and Robert whined. It wasn’t going to take him long. Aaron was too good with his tongue, and within a couple of minutes, he was swallowing him down.

“Right, we need a shower,” Aaron said, his voice slightly hoarse and licking his lips, looking fucking gorgeous.

“Together?” Robert suggested and Aaron grinned.

* * *

Robert had to go. He’d been away for as long as he could possibly get away with. “I know you’ve got to get back to the rat race.”

“I’m not going to see you until Manchester,” Robert said.

“It’s only a few days away,” Aaron said. “My mums looking forward to it.”

“Are you… alright to be on your own?”

“Yes,” Aaron said, then rolled his eyes at the look on Robert’s face. “I promise. I’ll call you if I need you, I swear.”

“Not like last time where you just shut down and lock yourself away and don’t talk to anyone?”

“No,” Aaron said. “I feel… better for having told you.”

“I’m very glad that you did,” Robert said. He dipped his head slightly to kiss Aaron goodbye, and Aaron made it deeper. 

“See you Thursday then.”

“I’ll be the one on stage,” Robert said with a smile. “Call me, okay?”

“I will,” Aaron said, meaning it. He watched Robert go into the waiting car, already missing him. He felt so glad Robert had showed up, even though he hadn’t asked for him to. He’d needed his boyfriend to be here while he’d had a meltdown.

When he was alone, Aaron started to make some phone calls. He had decided to take Robert’s advice and he was employing a private investigator to basically track Gordon when he was released from prison. He was right, the peace of mind Aaron would get from knowing that man was a few hundred miles away would be invaluable. But for now, he’d focus on Robert’s concert. He was massively looking forward to it, far much more so than he had been when he’d bought the tickets. Funny how things change.

* * *

Aaron posed for the selfie, Chas smiling next to him and the empty arena in the background. It was a nice picture, and he quickly uploaded it to instagram, tagging Robert in it. _Ready for the show tonight!_

“Are you sure about that?” Chas said, and Aaron nodded.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m not ashamed, and it feels good to show him off sometimes.” They’d been allowed into the arena early, but otherwise they could be any normal person with tickets to the show. Aaron had held firm, not getting the VIP spots. 

He smiled, almost shyly while thinking of Robert.

“You really like him, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I do.” Aaron hesitated, then went for it. ”I er… told him the truth. About Gordon.”

“Oh!” Chas said. “You got the letter, then.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “You didn’t tell me you knew he was coming up for parole.”

“I didn’t want to bring it all back up,” Chas said. “If you’d have needed me, you’d have told me or called me. I didn’t know until I got the letter last week.”

“Anyway,” Aaron said distantly. It didn’t really matter in the end. He hadn’t wanted to dig it all up with his mum at the time. He’d had Robert.

“How did Robert take it?”

“Really well,” Aaron said and Chas frowned. “I don’t mean he was thrilled, I mean… he was supportive and he wouldn’t leave me alone. In a good way, and… he reacted better than I thought. Believed me, would do anything I wanted or needed.”

“I’m glad,” Chas said and he looked at her in surprise. “I am. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy, and it’s clear Robert makes you happy. Surprised as I was to find out in photos.”

“He does make me happy. It’s almost like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and realise why he’s with me. He could have anyone, mum.”

“But he wants you.”

“Yeah, it seems he does,” Aaron said with a smile. He checked his phone and saw a few hundred likes already. Oh, and a comment from Robert. _“I’ll put on a good show tonight for you!”_

Aaron’s heart skipped a beat when Robert walked on stage. Sometimes he forgot just how attractive Robert really was, and he had such a stage presence. He got to go home with a rock star. Kind of hard to believe. It wasn’t until the fourth or fifth song that it happened.

“So this… it’s a very special show for me tonight,” Robert said, smiling at the crowd. “Someone very important to me is somewhere in the audience. This one is for my boyfriend.” Cheers went up in the stadium as Robert started playing “Home is where you are” and Aaron felt his face go red. This song was picked with a purpose, and people around him kept looking at him, like they were doing double takes. For once, Aaron didn’t care. He only had eyes for Robert. The man that thousands of people wanted, hundreds of thousands was currently serenading him on stage. His life felt completely surreal.

“That’s him making a gesture!” Chas half shouted into Aaron's ear, and he had to agree. It really was.

“You all right to get yourself home tonight?”

“Yep,” Chas said, before giving Aaron a big hug. “I'm so glad he makes you happy.”

“He does,” Aaron said, fully meaning it.

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made a mistake in the formatting. The first scenes of this chapter really should have gone in the previous chapter, but oh well. It's going to make this one seem weird, having the scenes, and then the epilogue, but it is what it is.
> 
> Thank you so much to those who've been reading, leaving kudos and especially commenting! It means so much to me!!

Aaron didn’t wait for the encore before leaving the arena and trying to find backstage. Chas didn’t say anything apart from rolling her eyes, but she’d enjoyed the concert which was the main thing. It hadn’t been a completely wasted present for her.

He saw a security guard he recognised who basically nodded Aaron through, and it didn’t take long to find Robert’s dressing room, even as he could feel the vibration of Robert playing on stage. Soon enough, he could hear the end of the show and waited for Robert to pop up. He came in and smiled at Aaron. “How was I?”

“Amazing,” Aaron said. He grabbed Roberts leather jacket and pulled him into a deep kiss. “That was… one of the most romantic things anyone’s ever done for me.”

“I was a bit scared,” Robert admitted. “I didn’t know I was going to do it until I did it.”

“Why were you scared?” Aaron asked, grabbing his hand and squeezing.

“Admitting on stage that I’ve got a boyfriend? It was a lot.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “That’s why I didn’t expect it. How did it feel? To say it out loud?”

“Scary,” Robert said. “Then really, really good.” He shook his head at the dressing room. “Lets go back to the hotel?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Sounds good.”

“Wait. Do you have to… your mum…”

“Is a big girl who can take care of herself,” Aaron said. “Come on.”

* * *

 

“Wow,” Aaron said, looking at the massive hotel suite. “Have you got another night in Manchester?”

“Why, want to abuse the mini bar?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “This is amazing.”

“Yes, we have another night here," Robert said, amused.

“Great,” Aaron said. “I’m filming tomorrow, but can I share your hotel room?” 

“I don’t see why not,” Robert said with a grin. Aaron kissed him, then let out a huff of surprise when Robert pushed him back onto the bed, lying on top of him. Aaron felt so safe like this, surrounded by Robert everywhere, his scent, his body, everything. He twisted his face away so Robert couldn’t kiss him and Robert paused.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, his hands gripping onto Robert’s hips so he wouldn’t move far away from him. “I love you.” Robert paused, looking at Aaron, then he smiled and kissed Aaron deeply. Aaron let him, trying to avoid the gut wrenching disappointment he felt, being vulnerable and honest, and having nothing in return. He just sunk into it.

“I love you,” Robert said.

“No,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “I don’t want you to say that just because I have. That‘s not why I said it.”

“No,” Robert said his hand curling around Aaron‘s head gently. “I’m not. I wanted to tell you ages ago, but I got scared with everything with…” _Gordon_. Aaron heard it, even though Robert didn’t say it. “So I didn’t know how to say it. I do, though. I love you.”

Aaron’s hands scrambled at the back of Robert’s jeans, wanting to touch him, desperate. “Get it off,” Aaron said, and Robert grabbed Aaron’s hoodie, in a rush to get naked as soon as possible. He needed to touch his boyfriend very badly right now.

* * *

_**Epilogue** _

Robert straightened his jacket out, then adjusted his hair one more time, looking in the mirror. Why was he so nervous?

“Knock knock,” Sarah said, emerging into the room, all smiles in a beautiful blue dress. “Ready?”

“No,” Robert said. “I don’t know why I’m like this.”

“You’ve already married him!” Sarah said easily.

“I know, but not like this. In front of what, three hundred people?” Robert was nervous as hell. Sarah was perfectly correct, he’d married Aaron last week. It had been a small private ceremony that they’d managed to keep completely secret from the worlds press. Just Aaron, Robert, Chas, Vic and Sarah had been in attendance, which had been perfect. A simple intimate wedding ceremony, everything they‘d ever wanted. They’d even woken up together that morning. But not today. They were both aware enough to know that they couldn’t get out of a big do, so they hadn’t even tried. They’d done their own private wedding, now was the almost public one a week later, with both of their agents and management teams, and Aaron’s co stars, Robert’s people that he relied on to keep his career going, Aaron‘s favourite director… the guest list had been limited at three hundred, but for two men who were used to having people watch them all the time, Robert felt so nervous.

“Have you seen Aaron this morning?” Robert asked.

“Yes,” Sarah said. “He looks very handsome.”

“Yeah?” Robert asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Sarah said. “Almost as nervous as you!”

“This is crazy,” Robert said. “We’ve already done it!”

“Your tie’s crooked,” Sarah said. It wasn’t, but he let her fiddle with it anyway. “Third time lucky?” she teased lightly.

“You think Aaron and I will make it?” Robert asked.

“I don’t know,” Sarah said. “No one can know.”

“Aren’t you meant to say something reassuring on my wedding day?”

“I’m not going to lie to you,” Sarah said. “I can’t predict the future. I will say, I have never seen you so happy and so in love. I would never have picked him for you. Bit too grumpy, bit too young for you. Maybe trying his luck at first, but it’s just his manner. I know he loves you, I don’t doubt that. And he looks really good in a suit.”

“Yeah, he does,” Robert said. “I’ve already got one failed marriage, I don’t want another one, mum. What if it goes wrong?”

“You both love each other,” Sarah said. “That’s a good start.”

* * *

Aaron checked his pocket for the rings for the third time in ten minutes. This was nerve-wracking. Technically they were already married, and even after only a week, Aaron felt like he was missing something by not wearing his ring.

“Don’t want to keep your groom waiting,” Leyla said, a hot pink creation barely clinging on to her. 

“Wow,” he said at what she was wearing.

“Making an impression. This is the wedding of the year! You’re going to save a dance for me?”

“I don’t dance,” Aaron said. 

“Please,” Leyla said.

“Lets argue that after the vows,” Aaron said. “Do I look okay?”

“Great,” Leyla said. “Not sure Robert’s good enough for you.”

“He is,” Aaron said. “More than.”

“I didn’t think you’d settle down this quickly,” Leyla said.

“I can’t picture my life without him in it,” Aaron said. “It’s crazy with all the touring he does, and me filming all the time, but he is the most important consideration in my life.”

“Stop it, you’re making me jealous that I can’t find a man,” Leyla said. “Your mums waiting to walk you down a very expensive aisle with overpriced flowers that will wilt in the next half an hour.”

“They better not,” Aaron said darkly. “With what we’ve paid for them.”

“Come on, let’s get you hitched. _Again_. I’m livid you didn’t invite me.”

“We did invite you,” Aaron said. “You were… what was it, the Bahamas?”

“Details,” she said, waving it away. “More than twenty four hours notice would have helped!”

“It was… impulsive,” Aaron said. “We wanted to do it just us, but we knew we couldn’t get out of the big wedding thing.”

“Ready love?” Chas asked as she came in to the room. “All the guests are here.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I think I am.”

* * *

 

The first time Aaron saw Robert, dressed up in his suit ready to marry him (again), his heart stopped. Just for half a second, but he could have sworn it did. A rock star, literally, was ready to marry him. Was this really happening? Then Robert smiled at him, and he knew it was.

“Now to the vows, Robert.” He took the prompt and grabbed Aaron’s hand, sliding the ring onto his finger as he spoke. “Aaron, I wasn’t looking for anyone when I met you. But you came into my life and from that point, I couldn’t see anyone else, even when I tried to. You helped me, you were patient with me. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world right now. I promise to love you, and to put you first, for the rest of our lives together.”

Aaron’s eyes had glassed over a little, as Aaron took his turn and he took a deep breath before speaking. “Robert. I thought you’d never look twice at me. Then you were this person that I just couldn’t shake. I fell for you so hard… I loved you before I even knew what was happening. I promise to take care of you, even when you don’t need it. I can’t wait to see what our lives together are going to look like. I love you.”

It was with great impatience that they waited the few seconds it took to be declared husbands, then Robert pulled Aaron forward for a deep kiss, Aaron smiling into it as the guests applauded.

* * *

 

Aaron couldn’t stop grinning at his husband dancing with his gran, Faith definitely taking the opportunity to shine. Robert was stupid happy as well, the joy bursting from him. Aaron took a swig of his beer, keeping watching. He couldn’t believe he’d get to spend the rest of his life like this, married to the man he loved and adored more than anything in the world. Who knew he’d ever get this? Life really couldn't get any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to know what you think!
> 
> Until next time...


End file.
